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Duration:14:39
Uploaded:2011-05-03
Last sync:2018-11-16 14:10
In which Hank and Wheatley continue to chip away at GLaDOS' evil.

Hello and welcome to Hank Green plays Portal! Last time I destroyed the turret production line and saw a bunch of potato battery experiments. Wheatley doesn't know what the frick he's doing, but there is a neurotoxin source right this way. Um, so, we're headed that way so we can cut off the neurotoxin source and protect ourselves in the future when GLaDOS tries to kill us, which she no doubt will. Um, even though, though she's going to kill us, it doesn't really matter, because I don't think there's any way out of this facility. Frankly, I would rather test. 'Cause the testing's fun. At least it gives me an objective, right? This is just...

(0:47) (Wheatley: Ha! I knew we were going the right way!) Yeah (Wheatley: This is the neurotoxin generator. Bit bigger than I expected.) It's big. It's big. It's frighteningly big. (Wheatley: There's some sort of control room up at the top, so, uh, let's go investigate.) Okay. Take me to the control room, Wheatley! Open up! Open your little mouth!

(1:14) (Wheatley: ...They do feel pain. Of a sort. It's all simulated. But real enough for them, I suppose.) Yeah, I mean, what is pain if it's not simulated? Of course it's simulated. We have a laser beam. That's important. Okay, I don't know what I'm doing. (laughing

(1:55) Oh, the door opened and everything stopped. (Wheatley: Good news! I can use this equipment to shut down the neurotoxin system. It is, however, password protected. Ah! Alarm bells! No, don't worry, alright, not a problem for me.) Okay, Wheatley, you just go ahead and do your thing. I think I have an idea, because that looks portalable. So... Wink!

(2:29) (Wheatley: ...It's good news! Carry on!) Good news. Yes it is, sir. You know, I know what I'm doing. (Wheatley: Still going down! Keep it up!) Yes it is, because I'm slicing through things with my laser beams! Yes.

(2:48) Wait, what's wrong? Well, now this room's swimming with neurotoxin, right? (Announcer: Warning! Neurotoxin pressure has reached dangerously unlethal levels.) Dangerously unlethal. Dangerously unlethal. That is not - not a good thing to be - I'm just gonna watch. No. In case of implosion, look directly at implosion. That's what I did! That's exactly what I did.

(3:12) (Wheatley: ...We have to go!) Oh, I don't know what to do. How do I get - how do I get to you? I don't know where you are, Wheatley! Uh, to be honest, I don't know where you are or how to get to you. How do I... How do I get to you? Oh, there's a door. I could've gone through, I should've thought to go through the door. Yes, I thought maybe it'd be a little bit more complicated. I am not used to doors. I usually, to going through, yes, doors. They're the original portal. Uh, port. Portal. To go through. Portal. Um... Yes, now we are headed through this tube.

(3:55) We're going right to her. I'm not sure what we're going to do, though. I don't have a laser. I should've like, gotten one of those lasers and made it portable. Not portalable, but portable. So... (Wheatley: This place is huge!) It is huge! It's pretty impressive. (Wheatley: And we're only seeing the top layer. It goes down for miles! All sealed off years ago, of course. We should be getting closer-) Tell me more about that.

(4:28) Wheatley! Ugh. (Wheatley: Get to her! I'll find you!) Great. Thanks! I'm sure that I will have no - yeah, see, the thing is, I don't- I'm not very good at hurting, or like causing actual destruction, unless there's something I can portal to got through the portal, and then, like those rocket launchers at the end of the last - and I don't mistake aga- In fact I'm surprised she made that mistake three times, at the end of the last one. It seems like she would've learned after the first time. But, y'know, maybe she's not the smartest. Maybe she's not the smartest artificial intelligence creepy. Dangerous. Life-form.

(5:11) Oh. Oof. Death Star-like. Feels very Death Star-like out there. Gonna open for me? No? Okay, I thought that was gonna be what we were gonna do, but - Ah, like giving me, it's giving me the crazy cramps. Okay. Apparently, that's where we're going. (laughing) Totally worked! There it is! GLaDOS Emergency shutdown and cake dispensary, seems a little too good to be true, but - okay, it was.

(5:55) It was too good to be true. Well, what else was I going to dahh! Nehhh! Ah! Oh jeez. Oh jeez. Oh jeez. (GLaDOS: If I'd known you'd let yourself get captured this easily, I would've just dangled a turkey leg on a rope from the ceiling.) Well, that does sound awfully good. Um, so I'm gonna have to fall through this, so I'm just gonna commit, y'know. Oh, a toilet. That's - well, I'm glad there's a toilet, at least.

(6:23) Don't you want to test me? (GLaDOS: ...I'm afraid you're about to become the immediate past president of the Being Alive club. Ha ha.) (laughing) Ha ha. Oh, I'm. I'm in a thing. You guys can't shoot through. That one's on fire. Oh, they're all just exploding.

(6:49) (GLaDOS: Oh. You were busy back there.) Yes ma'am. They should've broken the walls, though so I could get out. (GLaDOS: Well, I suppose we could just sit in this room and glare at each other until somebody drops dead, but I have a better idea.) Right, the neurotoxin?

(7:08) (Wheatley: Gah! Agh! Ugh! Oough! Oi! Ah! Ehh! Ugh! Ah! Ugh! Hello!) Hey, buddy! How's it going? We're out of here. (GLaDOS: I hate you so much.) I hate you so much. (Announcer: Warning. Central core is eighty percent corrupt.) (GLaDOS: That's funny. I don't feel corrupt.) Yes, well. (Announcer: Alternate core detected.) (Wheatley: Oh! That's me they're talking about!) You're an alternate core? Really? Oh, Wheatley, are you going to be the new, the new core?

(7:46) Oh my God. You people are creepy. (Announcer: Stalemate detected. Transfer procedure cannot continue unless a associate is present to press the stalemate resolution button) You have- I have to push this button. (GLaDOS: You need to be a trained stalemate associate to press that button.) I am a trained stalemate associate! (GLaDOS: You're unqualified.) (laughing)

(8:17) Wow, that shot me a long way. Oh my God, okay, okay, I'm learning my lesson. Gahh! Okay, okay, okay. Yes, I see. You have a great deal of control. Ah haha.

(9:03) (Wheatley: ...the qualities I love most in you...Number one: Resolving things, love the way you resolve things. Particularly disputes. And number one, also, tied: button-pushing.) Button pushing and the ability to resolve disputes. Well how about I push this button? I resolved the stalemate. Whaddya think, GLaDOS? How do you like that?

(9:23) (Wheatley: Here I go! Wait, what if this hurts? What if it REALLY hurts? Ooh, I didn't think of that.) It's not going to hurt, you'll be fine. Ooh, watch out. Yeah! Yeah! Disassemble her! Yes! Heh heh. Okay now it makes me sad. Okay, now I feel said. I feel sad. For-for awhile, now I feel sad.

(9:54) (Wheatley: Wow! Check me out, partner!) Oh, you have a tiny head! (Wheatley: ...I'm in control of the whole facility now!) Well okay. Don't let this go to your head, right? (Wheatley: I'm bloody massive, aren't I?) You are. You're big. (Wheatley: Oh! Right! Yeah, the escape lift; I'll call it now. There we go. Lift called.) You're gonna let me out of here? Am I gonna see the sunshine? Oh, you're juggling. He's juggling.

(10:24) (Wheatley: And check this out! I'm a bloody genius now! Estas usando este software de traduccion de forma incorrecta. Por favor, consulta el manual.) Yeah, that was a great accent. Going up! Up! Take me to the suns - Ah, this is definitely not going to go well. Yeah, maniacal laugh. Now you're maniacal. That's all it took.

(10:52) (Wheatley: Actually, why do we have to leave right now?) Uh-huh. (Wheatley: Do you have any idea how good this feels?) No. (Wheatley: I did this. Tiny little Wheatley did this!) Well, you had some help. (GLaDOS: You didn't do anything. She did all the work.) That's right. (Wheatley: Oh, really? That's what the two of you think, is it? Well maybe it's time I did something then!) I wasn't talking! I don't speak, I only jump!

(11:28) (Wheatley: ...All you've done is boss me around. Well, now who's the boss? Who's the boss?) You're the boss now, Wheatley. (Wheatley: It's me.) 'Kay, I got it. Ah, so this is what the potato has been about. (GLaDOS: I know you.) I know you. (laughing at dialog

(12:25) Why- Why are you hitting me? Don't hit me. There's no reason to hit me. Hey! I didn't say anything! (Wheatley: Could a moron punch! You! Into! This! Pit?! Huh? Could a moron do that?) Oh my God.

(12:46) And here I go. Well, um. I'm not even going to start the outro, because I'm sure that something's going to happen right at the end of this loading screen, while I'm doing the outro. Uh. But. So here I am. I'm falling. The fall. This is an entire chapter?

(13:06) (GLaDOS: So. How are you holding up?) You're a potato. (GLaDOS: Because I'm a potato.) (laughing) (GLaDOS: [slow claps] Oh, good. My slow clap processor made it into this thing. So we have that.) Slow clapping. What does that say? Two hundred - two thousand meters?! Three thousand meters?! That's the wrong way.

(13:32) (GLaDOS: ...He's not just a regular moron. He's the product of the greatest minds of a generation working together with the express purpose of building the dumbest moron who ever lived. And you just put him in charge of the facility.) He seemed really nice! Well. you, you weren't the best, y'know, ever, either.

(13:55) (GLaDOS: Hey, just in case this pit isn't actually bottomless, do you think maybe you could unstrap one of those long fall boots of yours and shove me into it?) You're a potato; you'll be fine. Four thousand, two hundred, and fifty?! Oh jeez! Now we're running into things! Okay. That's what the long fall boots are for. Oh my goodness. How far I have fallen.

(14:21) Well, thank you for watching this episode of Hank Green plays Portal 2. I'm going to do my best to end it right now. There's an annotation in the top right-hand side and you can click that to continue watching these, uh, I will not see you and you will not see me, but you will hear me, next time. Goodbye.