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In which Hank visits Pump Station Alpha.
Hello and welcome to Hank Green plays Portal. Last time I just jumped across this giant thing and landed at Pump Station Alpha and now I'm continuing into Pump Station Alpha! It is Alpha Pump Station. Hello, what's up here? Can I go up there? Maybe, maybe not. Hello, can I? I wanna get up there. That looks like a fun place to be, but I got nothing. What do we got? Pump Station Alpha Gel Pressure Control. I love the old school, I love it.

(0:35) Know your hazardous materials. Don't touch anything unfamiliar. Do not inhale fumes, no matter how good they smell. Allergens, anti-matter, some people are allergic to anti-matter. That seems unlikely to - what am I doing? I figured I was just going to go through there, but I was wrong. Okay, what am I doing? Am I going to pull this lever? I pulled a lever!

(1:01) Okay, good. Alright, moving through the door and Pump Station Alpha is revving up! Revving up production, and, is that what I was supposed to do? Because that would be amazing. I think it was! Oh my God, I'm so clever. Okay, well I'm going, and if this isn't what I'm supposed to do then I'm going to die, but I think it - aaah, waagh, guuh! B-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-waaaah! Whew. (Cave Johnson: They say great science is built on the shoulders of giants. Not here. At Aperture, we do all our science from scratch. No hand holding.) No giants!

(1:42) Oh, we're going up, we're going up! Up is good, up is closer to the sun. I like moving closer to the sun. I turned on the gel, and now I'm moving closer to the sun, and - wudabuh, a jigadado buz jiga. Infinite drift, infinite drift.

(2:04) Alright, it's dark. It's dark very dark, and this is closed. This is open. Oh, the lights are on! That made my eyes hurt. (Cave Johnson: you're not part of the control group, by the way) That's not how control groups work! You're not supposed to tell people. Yes. Wow, look at what the portal gun used to look like! They have compacted it. It is now a little bit svelter. 

(2:37) Alright, we got repulsion gel! Was Aperture's first attempt to create a dietetic pud - dietetic, that's what it says - pudding substitutic. Aperture science placard, fact placard. Number of repulsion gel lawsuits concerning, repulsion gel public outrage over. My goodness. It's true, the gel is a sweeter, slightly less non-toxic form of fiberglass insulation that causes subsequently ingested food items to bounce off the lining of the dieter's distended stomach and out of his or her mouth. For various reasons, this product was pulled from the shelves.

(3:13) This man says you should jump and so I'm going to topa, oooh, fun. Ooh, there's like, extra noise that happens too. That's good. What are we doing? What, we're on, we're on the bucket! On, okay but where's the thing to put on the bucket? Hello? Hello? Maybe I'm just going to jump down here - I'm going to see, I'm going to see. That's right. There's a button here. Alright, it bounced. That thing bounced.

(3:44) Let's go over here buddy. My goodness gracious. My goodness gracious me alive! Now I have to go back to - bouncy! Oh yeah! (Cave Johnson: The lab boys just informed me that I should not have mentioned the control group...) Yes, but, you're not (Cave Johnson: ...I pay the bills here, I can talk about the control group all damn day!) That's right, Cave Johnson! 

(4:10) Where, what? This is a portalable, so that's a good start. Next test chamber is that way, but there's - okay, here we go. Just go where you can see the possibility of going. Just go there. Is this my? Alright. (Cave Johnson: ...we put nanoparticles into the gel...) What, what year is this?

(4:49) How do I get over there? Is that what we're trying to figure out? Oops, oops oops. Alright I'm here now. Oh, wait there's a thing there. Where? Okay, come back! Okay, ood, doh, what the frick? Frickity poop! Frickity poopity poop! That's lame. Come on! Why did I do that, that wasn't even necessary.

(5:25) Oh, jeez, frickity poop! Alright, hello! Thank you, I would like to be upon you. Okay. Is there a arrow there? I thought there was an arrow there, but there wasn't. Where am I going with this? Aperture Science! I don't know what I'm doing. Okay, let go, drop it, and shoot and then go. Alright, see that's a cube, it's a weighted cube.

(5:54) What does that do for me? Okay, it makes me, and then I bounce. Huh, oojah! Go, go! Goodness gracious me alive of pie! I've seen this in the - yes, yes, yes, uh huh? That's right! Grab this and then do it again. I fell. Uaaah! Ooh, oojajadoo. I guess I don't need to use that on the way back.

(6:28) See, I just need to do this! What did that do for - I didn't see what that did. Anything? What's it do? Aaaah! No! Okay, this is slow going. That stuff is fun. Alright. Maybe it's down there, there is something down there. Alright, don't go through that wall. Is this? Okay, good. Oh, come on. 

(7:10) Oh did I just do the wrong thing? I did, didn't I? I did, didn't I? Oh, man. Boing! That was way too much. That was more than I needed. And then the exit! Oh, that feels good.

(7:39) (Cave Johnson: not get covered in the repulsion gel...we haven't entirely nailed down what element it is yet...) Element? It is clearly not an element. (Cave Johnson: ...and it does not like the human skeleton) Well, you know, there's been enough done to me that I'm not even concerned at this point. Not even -

(7:52) It's snowing. It is snowing outside of my window. What month is this that you are snowing, Missoula? Snow, really? Really? Oh my God! It has been awhile since it snowed, I'll tell you that. I thought that we were done with snow.

(8:11) (Cave Johnson: ...symptoms of asbestos poisoning show a median latency of forty-four point six year...) Immediate latency? (Cave Johnson: ...worse case scenario you miss out on a few rounds of canasta...) But I love canasta! You're weirdo Cave. You are weirdo.

(8:44) What am I doing? Hello? Hello, hello, hello? Am I going there? There, there there there there there? Up there? There's a thing that says exit up there. I like exits. Exits are - I'm pro exit.

(9:04) Come on. What am I doing? Oh, no. No, I hate the parts where I don't understand. That looked like portalable to me! Totally looks portalable. Apparently it's not. We've got this and that, but why would we have both of those things? Because clearly that's not going to do me any good. Right? No. That did me no good.

(9:37) I think that's - is that where I want to - oh, hello there. Can I just port here? Aaaah, that didn't help. Oh, hello! Okay, there we go. That's where I'm headed. Ha! Woo! That felt like death. That felt like just on the edge of death. Oh, now I'm here. Hello, that! Alright. (Cave Johnson: Ha! I like your style) Yeah, I like my style too! (Cave Johnson: Bean counters said I couldn't fire a man just for being in a wheelchair. Did it anyway. Ramps are expensive) (laughing) Ramps are expensive, the man says. What a lovely character.

(10:26) Thank you for watching this episode of Hank Green plays Portal 2. I enjoyed it did you? That rhymed. It's snowing, in Missoula, Montana, and here, at the Aperture Science Middle of the Earth things are kind of depressing. So hopefully I'll get out of here next time. Probably not though. Goodbye.