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I have some very exciting news for everyone: I'm going to be an uncle! [computer makes noise] Shut up computer! Who told him he could talk? This is my moment! Uncle!

It is Song Wednesday, you guys might think that I will be singing a song about John Green's baby but I didn't know he was going to make that announcement yesterday, I thought he was going to make it tomorrow, so I was not prepared for that. This is as best I could do:

John Green loves John Green's baby
It's gonna be freaking cute

But now it is time for me to talk about the Project for Awesome! This is actually my Project for Awesome video. This year my money is going to my all-time favorite environmental charity, The Nature Conservancy. Our dad worked for The Nature Conservancy when we were growing up, he was the Florida State Director and it's an amazing organization and basically their entire mission is to buy land so that it does not get destroyed. And they do this across the entire world, they're a global thing and they buy the land and save it forever. The Earth is much better at keeping us alive than we are, we - like - biodome? Didn't work. We couldn't even do it! It wasn't called biodome was it, that was the Pauly Shore movie but whatever that thing was called, we can't do it!

And so we have to you know, like, not completely destroy it. And that's The Nature Conservancy's one and only job: to save the last best places. So I'm going to be giving $1000 of my money to The Nature Conservancy and I'm going to be giving some of your money to The Nature Conservancy. Because I am auctioning off - this is exciting for me - the actual hand-drawn cover of So Jokes. This is the original cover as drawn by SharkEyeJones signed by me and SharkEyeJones, and the CD itself, the original drawings done in pen.

I am putting them on eBay right now and there will be links to those eBay auctions in the side bar. And we are also auctioning off a single John Green bobblehead signed by both John and Hank Green. All of the money from my auctions will be going to The Nature Conservancy and all the money from John's auctions - the glasses and the bobblehead - will be going to Stop Malaria. This is what the Project for Awesome is about people, and I am extremely excited. Here is my song! John, I will see you tomorrow.

Well, I might seem like a pretty happy guy
Get me a corn dog and my wife and I'm satisfied
But just because I'm happy doesn't mean that I'm not mad
That most people can't do eighth grade math
And a lot of people think that you're a tool if you've read a single book since high school
Since when did being smart start being a disgrace
It's that kind of crap that makes me hate this place.

And if you don't hate it too there must be something wrong with you
I hate this world
So come hate it with me
There's so much screwed up crap it makes me so freaking sad
I hate this world
So let's get together
Because there's nothing like hate to motivate us to make this world more great

Three species go extinct every day and I'm scared to hell of climate change
Three hundred thousand people died in Darfur and no-one tried to stop it, don't know where we were
We spent a billion per year on cosmetic surgery, imagine how many hungry children that would feed
And American girls start dieting at eight
That kind of crap is why I hate this place.

And if you don't hate it too there must be something wrong with you
I hate this world
So come hate it with me
There's so much screwed up crap
We have got to give back
I hate this world
So let's get together
Because there's nothing like hate to motivate us to make this world more great
Yeah there's nothing like hate to motivate us to make this world more great.