Hi.  I'm April May.  The next and final installment of my story is about to hit the shelves, and I wanted to give you a quick recap.  So, last time, our heroine, me, screwed her own life so hard that it became a completely unrecoverable shitshow and then I died.  Let's go through exactly how that happened.  

First, a robot sculpture showed up on my commute home from school and my friend Andy and I made a video about it.  The video went viral because it turned out there were 64 of these robots all over the world and they had created a convoluted game for humanity to play together, beginning, of course, with the Wikipedia article for the Queen song, "Don't Stop Me Now".

Eventually, we all started getting comfortable with the idea that the Carls, which is what I named them, a name that pretty much everyone adopted, were almost definitely from Earth.  That was a lot to deal with, and society got pretty heated, especially after the Carls hacked our brains so that we could continue solving puzzles inside of a contagious, collective dream that every person on Earth shared, but I really loved the part where everyone was paying attention to me, so I became a combination social media starlet, respected thought leader, and cable news pundit.  

It sucked and I loved it.  I loved having the whole world pay attention to me so much that I completely dumped my girlfriend Maya, who was pretty much the only stable influence I had left in my life, but I couldn't have something stable.  I needed to start over fresh and that's what I did.  

My other best friend, Andy, went down the wormhole of fame and power and punditry with me, while my new friends Robin, a personal assistant hired for me by my cutthroat agent Jennifer Putnam, and Miranda Beckwith, a scientist and April May stan, basically just did anything I told them to.  

Together, we built a little media empire along with a website called the Som that helped people solve the riddles that Carl kept throwing at us through the aforementioned collective dream.  

Eventually, we learned that Maya had become a bit of a dream celebrity by being the first person to solve several puzzles and we looped her in to help us with the Som, but she didn't like, stop being very mad at me for dumping her in exchange for the attention and adoration of tens of millions of people. 

While I spent all of my time trying to teach the world to stop worrying and love our new robot companions, others did their best to get people scared, like my sudden archnemesis Peter Petrawicki who both seeded and exploited peoples' fear for fun and profit.  That resulted in a lot of people calling themselves the Defenders, having lots of terrifying conspiracy theories not just about the Carls but about me, and then, holy hell climax, all at once, I solved the final puzzle in the Dream, found out that Robin had been lying to me because Jennifer Putnam wasn't just my agent--she was also Peter Petrawicki's agent, and so I got very mad at him and then Andy got mad at me for all of the awful things I said to Robin and then I got a message from Carl which told me to come to a warehouse alone.   

Since all of my friends were pissed at me, I went, live-streaming on Facebook the whole time and it would have been fine except it turns out the message wasn't from Carl.  It was from a few defender conspiracy theorists.  They locked me in the warehouse and burned it down, and of course, I decided to keep live-streaming.  This recap does not make me sound like a great person, but that turned out okay, because I was able to, in those moments, decipher the final puzzle Carl had sent us and orchestrate a global action that awoke the Carls and caused them to disappear just as the warehouse roof crashed down through my body.

This sounds like the end of the story.  And it certainly is the end of some stories.  But it is also the beginning of something much bigger, something much more important, and something that my friends, and yes, I, will be sharing with you soon.