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In which John answers your questions about love, romance, sex, and romantic relationships while in the Indianapolis Airport. Included are hints on how to tell if your boyfriend or girlfriend is an asshat, how to find out if people like you, and my (refusal to) stand on birth control pills.

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A Bunny
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Good morning, Hank. Its Tuesday. As you can tell from the gray-speckled walls behind me, I'm in an airport. Its Question Tuesday, the day that I answer real questions from real nerdfighters. Today I am going to answer questions about love and sex. When do you think its okay to lose your virginity? You know, call me old-fashioned, but I don't think thirty-four year old men vlogging in airports should decide when other people have sex. I like this guy and I think he likes me back, but I'm not sure. How do I find out for sure? I'm gonna tell you what I tell Henry several times a day. Use your words. Just talk to him. If you start going out, you're gonna have to talk to him anyway. There's a girl at my school who I like, but I don't exactly know h- Just ask her, using your words. You're not an Avox. Wait. Or are you? If you're an Avox, write it down. What is your stand on birth control pills? I try not to stand on birth control pills. I think it might decrease their effectiveness. How do you say no to sex without offending your partner? To answer your question, let's make a Venn diagram. Let this circle be asshats. [Indicating a large circle] And here [Indicating a smaller circle inside the large circle]are people who get offended when you say no to sex. Do you think it matters how many people someone has slept with? No. And it particularly bothers me that women are held to a different standard on this front than men. Also, its such a weird thing to care about. Like, imagine if I started eating Cheerios for breakfast. Would Cheerios be like, "I'm not the forty-eighth cereal you've tried eating?! I don't feel special". Well then, screw you, Cheerios. I can't go into the past and un-eat all those cereals, but that doesn't mean I don't genuinely enjoy your whole grain crunch. How do I know if he's "the one"? I don't think there is one "one". Have you ever had a crush on a band member? Let me answer your question with a question. Is Toby Turner in a band? John, do you ship Wholock? Sometimes I feel like you guys just make up words to confuse me. When is it too soon to say, "I love you"? Just remember you can't unring that bell. Have you ever wanted to experience giving birth? No. I-I've seen birth. No. Yeah. No. No. No. No. Is there a way to tell if he actually cares or if he just wants a hookup? Yeah. Is he a douchebag? The first time you saw the yeti, did you think she was the one? No. The first time I saw the yeti, she was in eighth grade and I did not think, "Ah, I'm gonna marry that eighth grader". What do you think of an Othello kind of love? You mean the kind where you beat up the love of your life and then kill her? I'm opposed to it. In your opinion, is premarital sex wrong? I certainly don't think there's anything inherently wrong with premarital sex. Like, for example its legal for gay people to be married in some states but not in others. And its a little bit ridiculous to say that its possible for gay people to have morally justifiable sex in Vermont but not in Mississippi. Frankly, I don't really see it as my job to tell people who they should have sex with or under what circumstances. Also, this an awkward thing to talk about in an airport. The people in the airport think that I'm crazy. The people in the airport think that I'm crazy. And maybe I am, to be fair. What is the secret to a successful marriage? Mutual generosity. Also, its nice if you can like the same television programs. Is it wrong to do gay stuff like, just kissing? Aw man, your question makes me so sad. No, of course its not wrong. If you want to kiss someone and that person wants to kiss you back, that is awesome. And don't let anyone tell you you should be ashamed about that. People are so ashamed about their sexuality, but you shouldn't be, its great. I'm talking about it in Terminal A of the Indianapolis Airport. On average, what animal takes the longest to copulate? I don't know, but I do know that llama sex lasts like two hours because male llamas experience something called, "dribble ejaculation". Why do I know these things? He loves me and I don't love him and he won't take "no" for an answer? Yeah, then he doesn't love you. He doesn't even respect your right to choose your own romantic partners. Is it weird that I'm in college and I've never kissed anyone? Not at all, as evidenced by the fact that your question was the most thumbed-up out of the hundreds that I got on Facebook. How do you cover up a hickey? Hickeys are still a thing? I never understood hickeys. Its like, I like you so I'm going to suck on neck until there's bruising. How can I ask someone if he's gay in a subtle way? Areay ouyay aygay? Just ask them! Use your words! Nerdfighters, thanks for the great questions. Hank, I have to go get on a plane. I will see you on Friday.