Hank: Hello and welcome to Hank and Katherine Play LEGO Harry Potter Years 1-4. We just wanted to show you this black screen with a spinning green cauldron.

Katherine: Floating goblet of goo. Gooey.

H: (Laughs) Ooh! Cut scene! We're going into year two, right?

K: This is...we're still in year two.

H: Oh right, we've started...

K: We're about to head back to Hogwarts.

H: Right, we're going back to Hogwarts.

Both: Awwwww!

H: We got...now we have to drive a car!

K: Dag you Dobby!

H: Dag. This is a bad idea.

K: Ah, look at those English men with bowlers.

H: They're gonna have to...what do they...what do they call it when they make the minds go away? Going to have to do all kinds of stuff.

K: Obliviate?

H: Gonna have to Obliviate all those Muggles.

K: I don't know, they might have...there might be other spells that do it too but Obliviate erases memories. At least in part.

H: Oh, Whomping Willow. You're gonna fall onto the willow, right? Okay good. I would have been sad if we had skipped that.

K: Looks like Harry had a mustache for a second there.

H: I don't...I don't. Oh, your car!

K: Doubtful, but...

H: Yeah. That would be hilarious!

K: Yeah.

H: Uh, just in general, seeing Daniel Radcliffe with a mustache. I'd go for that.

K: Creeper.

H: Uh-huh. Creeper, though.

K: Oh, Ron's wand was limp.

H: Spellow tape. He needs some Spellow tape.

K: Limp wand.

H: Limp wand.

K: It looked pretty limp to me.

H: It wasn't broken it was just limpy?

K: It was kind of jiggly.

H: (Laughs)

K: Gross.

H: Viagrus Totallus!

K: (Laughs).

H: Oh, there's a person up on this roof!

K: Get all of the things!

H: Look at it. Pixies! Bye, Pixies! We need like, a special Pixie...Pixie destroyer.

K: Woo! We're gonna get it this year. Don't worry.

H: Oh, you've done this before? We're still not past where you've done...AHHH!

K: No, we're not. 

H: Little Shop of Horrors! That was one of the scariest...I was very afraid of that movie when I was a kid. What is this?

K: It's pretty...I mean it's terrifying.

H: What is this?

K: Plant monster!

H: Hello! Give me the ghost bolts! Yes, we're collecting ghost bolts! Thank goodness. My whole life is changed.

K: We're gonna be...we're gonna be true wizards in like...

H: Immediately!

K: Yeah. A millisecond.

H: I'm mostly shooting you.

K: Yeah.

H: What do we...what do we do with these chests?

K: Ooh, what did I get one of forty of? Forty? Forty? That seems...

H: I'm trying to do that! One of ten, it said one of ten!

K: You don't have your Wingardium Leviosa equipped, buddy boy.

H: Oh....I don't see the...thing to put these in!

K: What...ahhh.

H: Oh there it is. No! Frickety frick! I pushed that button. What are we making?

K: Out of the way, student! Uh, strength potion so we can open a door or something.

H: We don't even know why we're doing this.

K: Um, I'm sure we're doing it for a reason. AH! Look out, trashcan!

H: Did you make...are you...

K: Trashcan of death!

H: It's vacuuming things. Okay I don't have to point.

K: No. Don't. Don't. Don't bother. Don't bother the trashcan of death.

H: What? Is it doing something important?

K: Sucking up...sucking up things? It's going to...Yes trashcan!

H: Do it! Ohhh, excellent.

K: Give me, see? 

H: You knew what was happening. You are so smart. Trashcan of death! Okay. 

K: That bench, I hate that bench!

H: I'm gonna drink it. I'm gonna drink it up. Ooh, big arms! I'm Beef Harry! I don't know what I have to with my Beef Harry though.

K: Beefary!

H: Beef Harry. 

K: Well...

H: Oh, there it is. There it is.

K: There's a thing right there, probably should pull that.

H: Hey, don't shoot me! That makes it harder to pull things. 

K: Don't go through the door immediately!

H: Why?

K: Because maybe...

H: What, is there more studs?

K: Well, what's that up there?

H: Well we don't have the ability to fly, okay? So we have to go get those guys later.

K: Shush! Shush! It might be possible.

H: Wait, wait. No, I don't wanna do that.

K: Push this bench!

H: I made...this!

K: (Screams) Cart of death!

H: I...cart of death! What, what happened?

K: All the time with the things of death. Does this bench rise up?

H: Okay, now I'm rebuilding the cart of death and I'm creating from it...

K: A floaty bench!

H: A floaty bench.

K: Give it.

H: I can't do anything to it though. I'm pointing at it. 

K: That's it, really? Come on. Float it up! (Mumbles)

H: Float it up!

K: Float it up!

H: Here comes...what the frick? Why did I make that thing? That was really hard. That was totally complicated.

K: There's two of them! 

H: Yes.

K: There must be something we can't do now. Balls.

H: Okay.

K: But what about this whole area?

H: (Groans) Ohhhh goddddd.

K: We did this whole area?

H: No but there's nothing there.

K: Shush. You know nothing. You don't know.

H: Um....

K: You don't know! I'm just saying you don't know that. Okay, fine.

H: (Laughs) I like our jump.

K: It's good.

H: It's good with our one flip forward.

K: Jumped over your head.

H: (Makes sound effects for the jump). 

H: Ghosty bolts!

K: I like the ghosty bolts, Lemon!

H: How much are those worth? They're worth a thousand bolts. Uh-uh!

K: Shoot you in the face.

H: What is this? Do we have to make another potion.

K: I don't...I still don't think we can make that one yet.

H: Oh yeah, is it in this, like, golden pot.

K: Yeah. Polyjuice potion. And it's being held up by a Pixie.

H: Yes, we have to clear off the Pixie butt. Okay.

K: What? I was just...

H: Okay that didn't work at all.

K: What are you doing? What are you trying...

H: Targeting things! I was not...did not work. Did not help.

K: Well why do I have Scabbers?

H: You have Scabbers equipped.

K: That's not helpful.

H: I like the noise the ghost bolts make. Can I walk through this door please?

K: (Makes sound effects)

H: I'm gonna walk through this door because, because seven minutes have elapsed and nothing has happened. 

K: Efffff!

H: Except I can't because there's a person. Okay, cutscene. Cutscenes are great. 

K: We got through the door! We're...I mean...(imitates game sounds). We're like...they're like...

H: What? Yeah.

K: Backwards Charlie Brown people, you know? Like,

H: Right.

Both: (Imitate game/Charlie Brown people sounds).

H: What are we learning about now?

K: We're learning how to plant Mandrakes.

H: Well what was in that cabinet?

K: Uh, earmuffs. Obviously.

H: Ohhh. I...we cannot move while they are singing! Come on! Seems to go faster...ahhhh! Did you do that?

K: You have to come get in this thing and put some earmuffs on.

H: Okay. It's just slow going, you know.

K: Yep.

H: Alright. Alright, shut up buttfaces!

K: No you need to use them to break all of the glass first.

H: What? You know all this stuff. How do you pick one up?

K: Push C.

H: Oh. I couldn't see one.

K: They're ugly, screaming things.

H: Z. I'm pushing Z! (Laughing) They're the ugly screaming things...please pick up...I'm still slow as frick!

K: Yeah well when you're holding them you're slow. I think I did it. I think I did it all.

H: Okay, now we have to plant them?

K: Yeah. Put 'em in a pot. Planty plant.

H: Oh I...totally dropped it.

K: Nope. Push Z again!

H: Totally dropped it! Come here little punk! Punk! 

K: Punkity punkity punkity!

H: I'm bad at this game! Okay. Z. This time. No! I just dropped him. Come on! No!

K: Wait until the thing...

H: Pick the buttface up!

K: Looks like...

H: Yes, okay.

K: There you go, yeah.

H: (Sighs). Why is there a helicopter?

K: I don't know.

H: How do you get this gold brick? Right here.

K: Hmmm.

H: Ron is just pathetic. Yes! Mandrake Handling unlocked! That's gonna come in handy all the time. Constantly.

K: Gold brick for Mandrake Handling. (Laughing) I'm gonna go handle some Mandrake's, man. Drakes.

H: What are...this is the helicopter!

K: Yeah.

H: What are you doing helicopter?

K: Just helicoptering.

H: You have pink earmuffs, that's cute.

K: Mhm.

H: You look like Leia.

K: I wonder what color Ron would have?

H: You got the ear-buns. You can put them in the cabinet if you want.

K: Well, yeah. Probably put him in the cabinet. 

H: Into the cabinet I go! That makes perfect sense. He is...

K: It's just where they keep them!

H: Uh, what the frick? He has, uh, antenna on his?

K: (Laughs). He's listening to the radio. To like, the, totally the eighty's. Why did we leave?

H: Because, we did the thing we were supposed to do!

K: But...uhh!! Now I can handle Mandrakes, so if we come across any Mandrakes in area's that we've been already...

H: Yes, we can do things that we haven't been able to do before.

K: I guess we don't...we don't wanna go fly.

H: We need to...we need to do the thingy.

K: Oh, what is this? This is something different.

H: Is it different?

K: Yeah it's like a thing.

H: I'm gonna fly.

K: Do it! Do it. Follow the studs!

H: There doesn't seem to be anything...oh hello! Hello blue stud.

K: There doesn't seem to be a...oh! There's more! Get 'em!

H: There's always more studs! It is the way of the world.

K: Yeah, okay. Nevermind.

H: We need...yeah. Okay.

K: Fang. Fanger.

H: Ooh that's a high jump! He's fine though, don't worry.

K: (Laughs).

H: Yes.

K: Yes!

H: Yes.

K: Yes. Is this the way we were supposed to go? The arrow was pointing this way?

H: Yes. The arrow was pointing this way.

K: See, see this right here? See?

H: Yeah, I know!

K: Okay, so if we find a Mandrake...well...hm...I hear one.

H: I do hear...I hear one as well.

K: But where do we get the, uh, earmuffs from?

H: Oh there it is!

K: We need earmuffs first.

H: But I had my earmuffs, why did I take them off?

K: I don't know why I took them off.

H: I cannot pick them up. I cannot pick you up. Ahhhh that was annoying! Maybe we need to use that potion to make earmuffs.

K: Well. No.

H: Alright, well while we figure this out...

K: Hm.

H: Uh, there's a...there's a cabinet!

K: There it is! There it is! 

H: There's a cabinet over there!

K: There's the cabinet.

H: There's a cabinet right here.

K: Muff me!

H: (Laughs).

K: Muffin top!

H: That is potentially a...somewhat vulgar statement.

K: Sha.....what? I just want earmuffs on my ears!

H: Just muff me!

K: Just muff...

H: I just want muff.

K: It...

H: I got you!

K: Now...now I'm wearing the antenna ones!

H: (Says made up words).

K: You're wearing the green ones, no you need to use it first!

H: Oh...I didn't understand. Where is...where are...where do you need to use it?

K: Right here!

H: Oh, okay. I'm coming! I'm coming! Wait!

K: I mean I don't know if you need to do this right now but...

H: I'm very slow!

K: There's this one and there's two over there.

H: There's...they're around yeah. There's a bunch of 'em. One of five! I have to break these things and something important is going to happen when I do that.

K: Mhm. I suppose.

H: So, yeah you are annoying my little friend. Two of five! Oh my god I'm so slow. Look at that red sparkly knight, what is he for?

K: Is that a knight?

H: I think so.

K: I thought it was the...

H: Hello...hello....

K: Hmm...

H: No, oh my goodness gracious.

K: There's one.

H: There's one.

K: Might be another one...

H: Why is that guy hangin' off that thing?

K: Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Go...go back here more.

H: Back here more?

K: Yeah, there might be one back here.

H: But I...there was one right there. Why would there be another one?

K: I don't know.

H: Ah, I'm so slow!

K: No. No. Hmm...

H: Why do they make it so that the games are so hard to play?

K: I don't know. Probably it's somewhere behind a fricking wall you can't get to. Like over here. Maybe it's this way.

H: I don't see it. And I'm stuck. Can't walk that way.

K: It's right there! Right there behind those people!

H: Well there's one. I mean, there's two more though!

K: Oh. You're right.

H: Uuuuumm.

K: Hm. Well this is fascinating...

H: (Imitates Mandrakes while Katherine talks)

K: ...For you all, I'm sure.

H: Yeah, yeah totally.

K: Squeal-y Mandrake noises for your pleasure.

H: Uh huh!

K: What?

H: Oh come on, where are you?

K: Come on you douchenozzle!

H: Okay, we will find it.

K: This way, maybe. Back here?

H: Yes. Well. There was already one right by there.

K: YEAH!

H: Oh we got it. I just walked right past it. Hufflepuff Boy! Oh, well if that wasn't worth it I don't know what was!

K: That was not worth it.

H: Now I have to carry this little bastard back to his pot.

K: Yeah. Let's plant him and then...

H: Okay and then...thank you for watching Hank and Katherine Play LEGO Harry Potter Years 1-4. I hope that you've turned your speakers down so that you don't have to hear the crying scream...criming screaming...

K: Criming screening...scream...screaming

H: Criming scrying of this poor little adorable Mandrake baby. In the pot you bastard! Thanks for hurting...next time you will not hear...see us and we will not see you but you will see us on LEGO Harry Potter Years 1-4. Goodbye.

K: Goodbye!