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In which Hank recruits an assassin, sings a creepy song about faction buildings, and finally figures out how to use the parachute.
Last time on Hank Plays Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood 2.0, I destroyed a Bourgitar (?) and then there was on of these guys with the spazzy horses. It goes right through the wall and he just does the exact same thing over and over again. I don't understand. But there's a door here to an Assassin's place and I'm going to go in and see what's going on. Steal a kiss was completed successfully. Excelent. Good, good, good. I've been awarded a new signal! Good, good, good, good, good. Check out my assassins and I assign some skill points. Good. Good. Look at all these assassins I got. Aid a rebellious citizen to gain a new recruit. I should've gotten all of those full but then some -- I don't know, man. It seemed like I only had a small window of opportunity. Wait, no, they're everywhere again. I'm right here. Alright lets get to it fast. Oi.(?~1:00)
You can actually... Like you can see the moon moving. Time moves fast in this world. Alright, spazzy horse people, get out of my way. I have to go save a citizen. A citizen of (?) to join my army. I feel very much like an Egyptian freedom fighter right now -- protester -- rebelling against the crap that ... Hello. Where's my...? There you are. Do it. Oh, why did you have to stop me? Oh wow. Got someone on a horse too. Excellent! Stab you while you're down! Stab you while you're down! Stab him while he's down! Oh, I called two groups of assassins. Talk to -- I got knocked over by my own assassin. Hey, good job everybody. Let's talk. (?~1:53)
Are you a hot girl? Yes. Excellent. What's your name? Same speech every time, Ezio. Oh, well, it's usually 'to fight them as my people do'. Uh, but as I do, that's just not gonna happen. You may have heard the name Ezio Auditore, he's freaking amazing. So, what is this thing down here? Templar agents? I don't know what that means. Assassination contract. Oh good, there's no longer... They're not on the map anymore I don't understand! It's like you can only get a certain amount at a time. I don't get it. Um, I don't know how long I've been playing at all. I have no idea. I have no idea how long this episode currently is! No idea, very confused! What is this U thing? Cristina mission. Wow. Those are still out there. Um. Well, the liberation of Rome has begun. And actually, it seems like it's been going on for quite some time. There's a Romulus Lair all the way down there. So, so far away. So far away. And there's a viewpoint right here that I haven't got. There's -- Rome is beautiful. But it's so far away. All the way over there. Where's is there a tunnel I can get into? What is this thing? Flag! I don't even know what that is! Um. Right. Let's continue to do missions. I really don't know how long this episode has been though. It's, uh, not good. Not good to have no idea. Uhhhh. I will keep going for another few minutes. So, lets head up to this -- I don't like this Cristina missions. They're totally boring. So, instead, I'm gonna go to the nearest -- well, lets go to this empty faction building starting out 'cause I need to fill it up! (?~4:06)
There's nothing as sad as an empty faction building. Oh, am I still notorious? Jeez! Don't worry about me. I'm climbing the ladder. Only normal people climb ladders. If I was Ezio Auditore, I would certainly not take a ladder. That would be ridiculous considering my skills. Hey, how's it goin'? I thought that you maybe needed to die. Still don't know how to use the parachute. ~Empty faction building//Where are you hiding from me?//Oh, empty faction building, empty faction building//Where are you so I can fill you up?//I fill you up with the stuff that you need~ Theives, mercenaries or courtesans? Mercenaries! I love the mercenaries. ~Oh, empty faction building//You're filled with mercenaries!//Oh yes you are indeed.~ Everything is better now. Kay. (?~5:26)
So, uh, I was gonna head to a view point *sneeze*. Lets do this view point and then I'll end this episode of Hank Play Assassin's Creed Brotherhood 2.0. I should also try and become less notorious because I am shockingly notorious. Dangerously so. This is the guy whose... I need to... First I need to -- Rip. Don't need that anymore. Oh, I'm good. That's all I needed to do. Amazing. Let's go to the viewpoint, Ezio! Ah! Right, well, this is an interesting... I've been on the top of this building before, why didn't I get the viewpoint then? Can I climb this? I can. Good. Good job, Ezio. Impressive. That was less impressive. Okay. This is a beautiful building I'm on. Where is the viewpoint though? Is this is? The cross? No. There's a sparkly noise though. There was a sparkly noise. Maybe there's like a flag at the top of the cross. I don't care about your flag. Wait, no, where is it? Where is it? What's going on? Here it is. That doesn't really make sense, but okay, let's view the point!(?~7:18)
Everything is obscured behind this building, but I guess I get the front-ways view at least and so that should do it. Thank you for watching this episode of Hank Green Plays Assassins Creed Brotherhood 2.0 I'm going to try and jump off of this thing and use the parachute. Nothing happened. I died. I pushed X. It said push X. I watched the thing and I died. That's me dead. Pink and blue fail screen of infinite grid death. That is unfortunate. I wanted to see the parachute in use. I pushed it and I held it down. I probably should've tapped it, but no one told me that. No one told me just to tap parachute. I'm going back up there and I'm going to do this again. I'm going to use the parachute if it kills me. Again. Already has killed me once. Alright, Ezio. Climb! Climb you little pansy. Pansy pants. Get up! Oh. There's nowhere to go. Nowhere to go from here, huh? Nope. Alright. Lets just go to the top here. Let's climb this cross. Good. Oh. One of ten... There's only ten feathers? And X. Yes! What?! Oh that is sweet! Hello people! Sorry, lady! My bad! I know. You're like what the balls that guy just landed right on me with a parachute. Ah, that was awesome. Okay. Now, we shall end this episode of Hank Green Plays Assassins Creed Brotherhood 2.0. Next time, you will hear me, but you will not see me and I will not see you. Next time on Hank Green Plays Assassins Creed: Brotherhood 2.0 okay. Goodbye.