Good morning, John. As you can see, I still have this annoying, clingy, face-fur attached to my body and people are starting to tell me that I look like Wesley, from The Princess Bride and I'm starting to feel like that's not so bad. I feel like I look like a cat, though! Cat's have fuzzy faces! And it pokes me. Constantly pokes me. I don't even know how I handle the hair on my head anymore. But due to an overwhelming influx of comments about how much people like my goatee and how much they don't want me to shave it, I have kept it... for now. And if you're wondering how I got this excellent sort of shape to it, it's because hair does not grow here. It's just me being a little boy.

John, this is going to sound like a weird topic shift, but have you ever heard of physiognomy? I learned about physiognomy while searching the website of Kim McGuire, who played Hatchet-Face in Cry-Baby, who I'm kind of obsessed with. Also in that Wikipedia page I found out that John Waters cast the part of Hatchet-Face with a one-line ad: "Wanted: Girl with a good body and an alarming face who is proud of it."

And anyway! Physiognomy is the assessment of a person's character by looking at their face or body. This is on its face—

Sock Puppet Hank: That's was intentional, wasn't it?

Hank: Yes. Yeah, it was intentional, but I wasn't going to call attention to it.

Anyway, that is on its face wrong — we shouldn't judge people by what they look like. We all know that. Except, in some cases, you kind of can.

For example: Aggressive men tend to have wider faces, because they had more testosterone in their system when they were growing up.

Gay men are three times more likely to have counter-clockwise hair whirls. And that's just weird. I checked; I had Katherine check mine. I'm clockwise. So now we know for sure.

On a composite of thousands of religious women were put together, 73% of people identified that image as a composite of a religious person.

But these are all just little tips, they're not something that we actually take into account, right? Well, whether or not we should judge a book by its cover, we do.

Men with faces that more closely resemble children are less likely to be convicted in a court of law than men who look more masculine. And yet, baby-faced men are more likely to be convicted of negligence. Psychologists have studied this, and they've determined that within a tenth of a second of seeing a person for the first time, we have already made a series of judgments, not just about attractive they are, but how trustworthy they are, how assertive they are, how funny they're going to be. We're built to make these snap judgments about each other because at some point in our history, it was necessary for our survival to do so. And now, we build even more signals into the way we style our hair, the shoes that we wear, the socks, the clothes, tattoos and piercings, all a way to give cultural cues about what kind of person we are. All of this brings me back to the goatee.

Does this thing change who I am? Does it change the way people see me, and if people see me differently, do I see myself differently? Do I act differently, because that's the way that they see me? Not so far, I think. Do I seem different? I don't know! If I had stuck with contacts in high school, and looked like this all the time (removes glasses), would I have been a different person, is this guy not me?

What it comes down to is this is too big of a decision for me to make alone, and it's also too good of an opportunity to raise money for The Foundation to Decrease Worldsuck. We need to increase the coffers now, in preparation for the Project for Awesome. So if you have an opinion on whether or not I should keep this face-fuzz intact or not, go to fightworldsuck.org right now. And you can vote, but not with your clicks, with your dollars. And I will tell you that PayPal takes like 33 cents no matter what, so if you donate a dollar, 33 cents of that is going to PayPal, if you donate five, 33 cents of that is going to PayPal, so, percentage-wise, you should probably avoid just doing a dollar. And if you do less than 33 cents, they take all of it. So that's great.

So put your money in the shave-it pile, or put your money in the keep-it pile, and based on that, on my next video, I will let you know whether or not I'm going to do the Neanderthal November thing.

John, one final note, congratulations on signing 150,000 copies of The Fault in Our Stars, you're done, go on vacation, except don't, because we need you to make videos to make us laugh. I'll see you on Monday.