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Edited by Tim Thomas


Hank: Hello, and welcome to Games with Hank. I'm Hank. This is games with me. It's also games with Hank, and Hank.

So last time we, uh, we took out the anthill, and I won, clearly, by a magnificent margin. And, uh.

Katherine: I do not have (inaudible)

Hank: What happ- What do you mean?

Katherine: (as Cameo) "I forget you play this game."

Hank: Yeah.

Katherine: Hank is better at this game.

Hank: Suddenly, I am better now.

Katherine: Than I was better at him at the other game.

Hank: Yes. You used to do better. You were much better at the other game.

Katherine: I don't like the third dimension.

Hank: Yeah, the third dimension is really annoying.

Katherine: I prefer two dimensions.

Hank: Oh, this is just a view...

Katherine: I like things to be two dimensional.

Hank: Yeah.

I like my kitties to be three dimensional.

Katherine: Except for my kitties. Them I like three dimensional...

Two dimensional kitties are also okay though.

 World 4-2 Piranha Creeper Creek (0:52)

Hank: (laughs) Piranha Creeper Creek

Katherine: Uh-oh.

Hank: That sounds dangerous.

Katherine: My hand, one hand is full of cat hair.

Hank: Ohhhhh, Katherine though, you better be careful.

Katherine: My one hand is full of cat hair.

Hank: How can I kill these?

I was doing something important! So, you can hit the piranhas, and they'll go away, but they will not die. So, arrraaugh. So they get a little cowed. They're like, "Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't realize."

Uh, what about fire? Is fire good?

Yeah! They, they die.

Katherine: After awhile.

Hey! You could have just let him sleeping.

Hank: arraughaahh

Katherine: Or I guess you can drive him away.

Hank: That feels like the right ch-, the right call.

Katherine: "That felt like the right ch-..."

Hank: Yeah.

Katherine: "... the right call."

Hank: It was just easier that way.

Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh, mine.

Yeah, you show him who's boss. You know who's boss Katherine?

Katherine: Luigi!

Hank: Luigi's boss!

[mumbles] yeah, yeah

Go to bed. Go to bed. Just go to bed. Just go to bed. Go to sleep piranha creeper, and never wake up. Go to bed.

Eh. Ah. agh. I don't have the fire now.


[incoherent sounds]

Katherine: [laughs] "[incoherent sounds]"

Hank: Wait, no, don't hit them!

Katherine: What?

Hank: We gotta jump on their heads. Why did you just stand there?

Katherine: Well I... made a mistake, clearly.

Hank: Do you think-

Oh, well, there was not- I thought that we had more time than- arr burr bur burrpidoop burrp bidoop boopidoo.

I don't know why I had to go up.

Katherine: I just ran away. I was like: NOPE. That ain't happenin'.

Hank: Oh. Apparently you can just jump on their lips, and that does it for 'em. -- Oh, I'm sorry! Sorry. man...

Katherine: Boy, he's just- you don't really ever thinking about anybody, but Hank.

Hank: I'm just gonna go down here and get this, this thing. And you just go over there and (inaudible)

Now-oh-down, down. Down, down, down.

Katherine: DO NOT PUSH! No pushing!

Hank: Hey, you don't want to go check it out.

Katherine: NO PUSHING!

Hank: Check it out lil' bro. Check it out lil' bro.

And run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run-run, run, run, run, run, run.

Katherine: I made a mistake.

Hank: You did make a mistake. It's true.

Katherine: I made a bit of a mistake.

Hank: You just stay right there. You'll be fine. Now go.

You never know what the piranha creeper's gonna do until he does it, so. Oh, I thought that was going to be something useful for me.

Katherine: Great.

Hank: Scary. (? 3:57)


Katherine: Oh no.

Hank: Just do what you did. Do your thing.

Katherine: Stay here though. Don't, don't leave me.

Hank: Well, if I go in here, you'll just turn into a thing, a little dot of energy, and then you can come with us. See? Turned you into a little dot of energy. You can't be hurt when you're a little dot-

Katherine: LEAVE IT.

Hank: Okay. I'll be over here. Hey, kitty!

Katherine: Meow, meow.

Hank: Danger Will Robinson!

Katherine: Yep. I was going to say-

Hank: Okay, don't go into that stuff: it's not good.

Katherine: I think the lava is probably not-

Hank: Cause I didn't know that it was so bad. Oh, too bad.

Katherine: Damn it. I'M SO BAD AT THE THIRD DIMENSION. Just let me jump straight! Frick!

Hank: Thinking, thinking, thinking, thinking. 

Katherine: Stupid.

Hank: Third Dimension. I know.

Katherine: Aghhh.

Hank: Awwww.

Katherine: God. Luigi. Piece of Poop.

Hank: I don't like that. Go back. I don't like it.

Katherine: Mehhhh.

Hank: Oh. Too close. Too close. I got too close. Got too close.

Katherine: (laughs) Now we're both tiny.

Hank: It's OK. It doesn't matter. The lava kills you no matter how big you are.

Katherine: It's true, but there's also BEES.

Hank: There is also bees. You can get whatever you want in this device.

Katherine: I can?

Hank: Yeah. Hit it.

Katherine: Oh, great.

Hank: Oh well. Not nothing. I'm trying-- I'm trying-- 

Katherine: Oh my god

Hank: I'm sorry

Katherine: I tried! (Hank laughs) but I was not fast enough to get there. (jumpy noises) BEES. Beeeeees. (Screams) God. chhhh- frickity. Don't touch it! Don't touch it!

Hank: (scats out of nervousness)

Katherine: No, no. What's the star? What's the star? I gotta know, I can't know, nevermind. 

Hank: You jump so far, I-- How did I find the only place in the frickin game--

Katherine: Are you coming back?

Hank: Yeah, I think so.

Katherine: I mean, I don't have-- (screaming) Dang it!

Hank: Oh, I got hit by a bee.

Katherine: Run! Run! RUUUUUUN NO.

Hank: (sobbing) No, there was a creeper! Oh no, we're at this part again.

Katherine: Cheesy Creasy.

Hank: Cheesy Creasy is right. Oh, I killed it.

Katherine: Nice. Lips.

Hank: Lips, you gotta hit them in the lips.

Katherine: "Hit them in the lips." Nope, nevermind. About that. Down down!

Hank: Sink! Sink!

Katherine: Dive, dive, dive! uuuuuuh, too close, too close. Oh no! (panting)

Hank: (laughs) Oh god, oh god! Get up!

Katherine: (panicky laughter)

Hank: Oh gosh! Oh gosh, oh gosh, oh gosh, oh gosh, oh gosh, oh gosh, oh gosh, oh gosh, oh gosh, oh gosh. 

Katherine: (laughing hysterically)

Hank: Oh gosh, just stay right where we are. Don't move at all, stay right where you are.

Katherine: Don't touch the joystick.

Both: (scream)

Katherine: Oh Jesus.

Hank: Dang. Dang it, how did he get me?

Katherine: There's a thing!

Hank: There is a thing there, you were right.

Katherine: (groans)

Hank: (mumbling) There totally is. (? 8:00) raccoon. Also frickin fire flower so we can kill those things. Fire flower would be really nice, actually. Oh, I didn't-- I just walked right off this thing.

Katherine: (panicky noises)

Hank: Alright bees.

Katherine: Bees!

Hank: What are you gonna do about it? Huh? What are you gonna do about it?

Katherine: Bees! Lllllips!

Hank: I died.

Katherine: Lips.

Hank: Lips. At least you had-- yeah! That's my girl. I'm so huge. Awww man, that was hard. That was hard. That was-- I feel like that's probably the end. Don't fall off the edge, this is me that I'm about to do (? 8:50). OK, alright.

Katherine: (laughing)

Hank: Let's do that again.

Katherine: (still laughing) My god. Wait. Wait. Wait! WAIIIT! (triumphant screams) Yes!

Hank: That's pretty great, right off the lips! Right off the lips.

Katherine: The best source is to just PANIC.

Hank: (laughing) Always the best choice is to just panic.

Katherine: FAN-tastic.

Hank: Did you find a rubber band, kitty? She did.

Katherine: She did, it's a broken one. It's even better.

Hank: Little circles are the evilest, so...

Katherine: Kitty?

Hank: Yeah?

Katherine: Don't play with the camera.

Hank: Don't play with the camera.

Katherine: (? 9:40)

Hank: (?) Hey, there's a big boul--

Katherine: Did I win?

Hank: Yeah, No, I did. I'm wearing the crown.

Katherine: (sigh) I did so good at the very end. (both laugh) I should get rewarded for that! Always go for the little box, apparently.

Hank: Do you only get to have--?

Katherine: Oh. Well, I went for these two.

Hank: OK

Katherine: Which would seem like the right choice.

Hank: Now I got a raccoon.

Katherine: Is that the right choice?

Hank: Yeah, yeah, of course, kitty's great. Everybody love kitties

Katherine: Kitty and fireball-lu-lu-lu

Hank: lu-lu-lu

Katherine: Fire blu-lu-lu

Hank: Fireball.

(both sing the music)

 World 4-A Brolder Blockade (10:25

Katherine: Brolder. Brolder.

Hank: Brolder. Is he a bro?

Katherine: Brolder? See? See that? See that crap?

Hank: Oh. Yeah, just throw him off the edge! Ka-the-rine Green, you know what you're doing.

Katherine: Ka-the-rine! Ka-the-rine! Oh god! I umped off the edge. (laughs)

Hank: Oh gosh. That's not ideal. I got-- I killed three of them.

Katherine: (cackles) Let me get something.

Hank: (wheeze-laughs)

Katherine: Don't try and be friends! After that!

Hank: (laughing evilly) "I have to get something." No. I--

Katherine: You're lucky I didn't knee you in the nuts just now. "I am not a nice person."

Hank: I--

Katherine: "I don't care about anyone but me." I also did some work! I killed the first one. 

Hank: You figured out how to kill them.

Katherine: Yes. Without that (stares at camera, mouths "Nothing would have happened")

Hank: Thanks for watching this episode of Hank's Games with Hank. I need to do some work here on the home front.

Katherine: Hands off.

Hank: And-- so yeah, we're gonna-- thanks for watching. Uh, the game-- wait. This is-- Thanks. This is Games with Hank, the game has been Super Mario 3D World, I have been Hank and so has Katherine. We're friends. We  get along real well. DFTBA.