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ONLY ONE DAY LEFT IN PIZZAMAS: After tomorrow, it's all gone for good! Alas!
The Road to Nerdfighteria:
In which John answers a variety of questions from real nerdfighters, shares his real feelings about social media, names the weirdest animal he's ever met, answers the criticism that his work is pretentious, and celebrates the second to last day of Pizzamas 2016.

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Good morning, Hank! It’s Thursday. It’s Question Thursday, the day that I answer real questions from real nerdfighters. Let’s get right to it.

How’s the new book coming along? In general, the less you hear me talking about it, the better it’s going.

Who do you look up to most in the world? My parents, and then, secondarily, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson.

How do you want to be remembered? I’d like to be remembered mostly as a father and a husband and a sponsor of AFC Wimbledon.

What is your response to critics who say your novels are pretentious? Mmmm... Yeah.

Do you have any advice for a decathlete? Wait, are we talking about like running and jumping decathlon or academic decathlon? Because if it’s running and jumping decathlon, I advise you to run fast and jump high. Or far, I don’t really know the rules.

If we’re talking about academic decathlon, I advise you to specialize in art history and economics.

Can you juggle? Yes, but only tasks.

What’s the weirdest animal you’ve ever met? Mmmm... Probably Maureen Johnson.

What John Green quote are you most proud of? I’m pretty fond of “Imagining the future is a kind of nostalgia,” but it’s not actually my line. It’s something Sarah said to me on our first date. And I was like, “Hold on a second,” and I grabbed a napkin, and I wrote it down, and I went home, and put it in Looking for Alaska. I did ask for her permission, for the record.

How many copies of Harry Potter do you own? We only have one copy of each book, except for book four, which we have two copies of. This one was on Quentin’s nightstand in the Paper Towns movie.

If all the characters in your books ran for President, which one would have your vote? I feel like Hazel’s mom from The Fault in Our Stars would be a pretty good president. You know, like, cool under pressure, thoughtful, cautious, played by Laura Dern.

Favorite candy bar? I mean, guys, come on, I’m literally sponsored by Snickers.

Favorite fictional place? Hogwarts. Apple pie or pumpkin pie? Pumpkin. Favorite cheese? Havarti.

Go-to Chipotle order? Barbacoa salad, no rice, black beans, extra mild salsa, just a little bit of cheese, and guacamole, which, yes, I know is extra.

Favorite Pizza John design? That’s like asking me to pick between my children. I love them all differently, but equally.

What should I get my girlfriend for our four-year anniversary? She already got a Pizzamas coffee mug for our three-year anniversary on your recommendation. I got a list here of all the anniversary presents. It says the first year is paper, year fifty is gold. It says here that year four is actually the Pizza John hoodie.

Will you mention The Road to Nerdfighteria? Yeah, it’s this amazing project where nerdfighters around the world talk about how they found Nerdfighteria. Link in the dooblydoo.

Would you ever consider becoming President of the United States? No, I would be very bad at that job, and it involves a lot of things I find very unpleasant, like shaking hands with strangers and asking rich people for money.

John, why aren’t you Snapchatting? So a few months ago, I turned my phone into a dumb phone that does nothing but text, make phone calls, and play Pokémon Go. So I guess it’s not that dumb, but this change in my life has been kind of wonderful, even if I do miss Snapchat a little.

How do you stay informed about current events? This is another change I made about a year ago. I read The Economist, The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, and my hometown paper, The Indianapolis Star. I used to think that reading whatever was on my social media feed was the best way to stay informed, but now I’ve become a little bit suspicious of that proposition.

How do you feel about social media, anyway? You know how sometimes you’re in a really intense romantic relationship, and you can kind of tell that the candle is burning at both ends and will not last the night? And your friends are like, “Maybe you guys should break up,” and you know maybe you should, but you’re having a lot of fun, and it’s not like you’re gonna get married, you know, I mean, this isn’t serious, is it? Yeah, kind of like that.

Why do you read fiction? Two reasons, really. First, for consolation. Like, I understand in the abstract that I am not alone, but reading good fiction helps me feel unalone in like the deepest ways. You know, it makes me feel like even my inexpressible fears and demons don’t separate me from humanity.

And then, secondly, I think it’s nice and maybe even important to escape the prison of your consciousness for a while and try to live in someone else’s mind. And for me, reading stories is like the most efficient way out of myself.

If I make my question a reminder that Pizzamas ends tomorrow and all these amazing Pizzamas wonders are only available for one more day at, will you make it the last question? Yes. Yes I will.

Hank, you’ll see me on Tuesday.