Oh it's gotta be. He's big... Oh! What is going on McGoldrilocks!?

Oh, it had to be but it wasn't. And then it had to be again but it wasn't.

Doh, that's frustrating. I should have done better.

Oh D. McGoldrilocks. Oh, he was right there.

D. McGoldrilocks! Nope. Can't get it down.

Oh, almost D. McGoldrilocks. I almost got to sing the song about your perfect bed.

It's gotta be and it isn't. Bald John Green, all you had to do was put it in the back of the net.

That's a good looking ball but it's all for nothing.

...and I'm really pleased. Oh, to the far post! It's off the post.

We've gotta shoot in that situation. Oh! How did we not get a goal?

Fortunately... No. He couldn't keep it down.

It has to be. It almost was!

D. McGoldrilocks! Oh! He almost found the perfect bed. Alright. Oh that's a good line. I'm gonna use that in the future for when he almost scores.

Pass to your husband. Oh he tried to get in there but he was double covered.

If you're going to believe... D. McGoldrilocks! Oh! I needed you to go far post on that baby.

Oh, really? That seemed like a good strategy to you? I don't like it.

Can we find a way to win this game? Oh wow! Other John Green had to finish and he didn't. He had to finish there. That had to be but it wasn't.

...which is the part that we usually don't do very well. Oh wow! Bald John Green almost made my day. But he didn't.

Or do I like it? No. I don't like it. Ah.

He's so pretty. How'd he get so pretty? Get it to your husband! Oh! For the love of everything holy!

It's gotta be! No! What happened to your head!?

Oh, it's gotta be! No it isn't.

That is a fantastic through ball and then I'm gonna need you to go to McGoldrilocks. No. No.

Bald John Green redeem yourself! No! Alright, I know, I gotta just stop crossing it into the box with only one guy there.