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Last sync:2023-01-20 16:00
In which Hank hits his three most embarrassing moments, barely making it in under four minutes


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A Bunny
( - -)
((') (')
(a stage is set with Sock Puppet Hank in it)

Sock Puppet Hank: Good morning John. It's Thursday, April 5th. I have some bad news: You said that I could visit my local Hummer dealership and test drive a Hummer. This is one of the best ideas that I've heard for a punishment in a long time, and I'm very sorry to have to say that I can't do it. Because I don't have a local Hummer dealership. The nearest one is 153 miles away. And then I called some hair salons to see if they'd professionally wax my chin, but it turns out that professionals don't wax chins. The lady on the phone said that it was a high blood supply area. They don't do it because of the potential for permanent damage! Boy, I'm really sorry I made you do that. It's Brotherhood 2.0's Embarrassing Moment Sock Puppet Theater! Oh, well, that's embarrassing, my hair just fell off. I have a hairy neck. Hairy neck.

Sock Puppet Hank: Embarrassing moment number one!

Sock Puppet Justin: Hello. My name's Justin, and I was Hank's roommate in college. I have long hair, and a slight frame, and one day I was minding my own business eating some Marmite on toast when Hank walked into the room.

Sock Puppet Hank enters, humming. Oh my, look. It's Katherine.

Sock Puppet Hank walks over to Sock Puppet Justin and starts kissing his head. Sock Puppet Justin turns around.

Sock Puppet Justin: ARGH!

Sock Puppet Hank: ARGH!

Sock Puppet Justin: What was that?!

Sock Puppet Hank: Uh. Um.

Sock Puppet Hank looks around, and leaps out of the theater.

Sock Puppet Hank: Embarrassing moment number two!

Sock Puppet Katherine's Mom: I'm Katherine's mom. So, Katherine, when am I going to be meeting this Hank I've been hearing so much about?

Sock Puppet Katherine: Maybe when we get back to campus. After grocery shopping here. I can introduce you to him.

Sock Puppet Hank enters. Katherine!

Sock Puppet Katherine: Uh oh. He's coming. He's -- right behind you...

Sock Puppet Hank: Run run run run! (Hank runs into Katherine's mom.) Oh, uh. Um. Hi. It's nice to meet you. I'm Hank.

Sock Puppet Katherine: That's Hank.

Sock Puppet Katherine's Mom: Oh. What a nice young man. You ran into my legs.

Sock Puppet Hank: I decided it would be cool if I would slide on my knees down the aisle at Albertson's and run into Katherine. But instead, I ran into her mom.

Embarrassing moment number three!

Sock Puppet Hank: What a nice drive. Sara, I have never dated a more beautiful person than you, and I never will, until I meet Katherine.

Sock Puppet Sara: Yeah, I know, I'm pretty awesome, huh.

Sock Puppet Hank: Yeah, you are.

Sock Puppet Sara: You look pretty awesome tonight too with that black lipstick on.

Sock Puppet Hank: Yeah. You're so cool.

Sock Puppet Sara: I know.

Sock Puppet Hank tries to start the vehicle and it makes stalling noises.

Sock Puppet Sara: What's going on?

Sock Puppet Hank: Oh my god. I totally forgot to get gas.

Sock Puppet Sara: Oh my god, what are we going to do.

Sock Puppet Hank: I know! We'll walk to 7-11 and call my mom.

Cut to them standing in front of a 7-11.

Sock Puppet Hank: (on the phone) Mom? I ran out of gas, and now I'm stuck at 7-11. Can you come pick us up even though it's like 2 o'clock in the morning?

Sock Puppet Hank's Mom: You ran out of gas?!

Sock Puppet Hank: Yeah. It was pretty stupid.

Sock Puppet Hank's Mom: I'll be there in a minute. But I am not happy with you.

Sock Puppet Hank: Aw, this sucks, I'm so sorry. I'm so lame.

Sock Puppet Sara: I hope your mom gets here soon. This is kinda boring.

Sock Puppet Hank's Mom enters.

Sock Puppet Mrs. Green Oh hello.

Sock Puppet Hank: Hi Mom, I'm really sorry about this, but I didn't know what else to do.

Sock Puppet Hank's Mom: Stop! Stop talking. What's on your face.

Sock Puppet Hank: What?

Sock Puppet Hank's Mom: There is something on your face. It looks like you're wearing makeup.

Sock Puppet Hank: (high-pitched) Can you just drive Sara home? So that this nightmare can be over?

Sock Puppet Hank's Mom: You are so grounded.

Cut to Sock Puppet Hank. John, I'll see you tomorrow.

Sock Puppet Hank's Mom and Sara: Bye.