Good Morning Hank, it's Tuesday. My wife is a Yeti, my dog is a pirate and I am a semi-professional video blogger.

Hank, do you ever wonder how this all, like, happened? (0:10)

(Montage music)

Right, so Hank we have 100,000 subscribers. Let me try to put that in context for you. That means that if each of our subscribers gave us $100 we could potentially buy a private island in the ocean and make Nerdfighteria a real country. So Hank, even though Nerd Fighters haven't bought us an island yet; we still like them a lot. And so in my last video I asked them what we could get them to say thanks. And here are some of their real suggestions:
(0:38)
Online hip-hop collaboration between Hank and Natalie from community channel. Yes. Yes. YES! Hank, Nerd Fighters, make that happen! (0:47)

Do another Tour-De-Nerd-Fighting. Ok, I promise that we will do another Tour-De-Nerd-Fighting, but it takes a lot of like, planning, and logistics, and money; so it may be a while, but it will happen. (0:58)

Buy each of your subscribers an iPod. Yeah, that's a great idea, except first, most of our subscribers probably already have iPods, and second it - it would cost like 10 million dollars, and if I had 10 million dollars I would be using it to buy an island. (1:12)

You could publish Paper Towns in the United Kingdom. Good news on that front actually. Paper Towns WILL BE published in the United Kingdom by Bloomsbury Books. Thank you, Bloomsbury! And I am going to do my level best to be in the UK in May of next year. (1:26)

John and Hank should preform a choreographed dance to the Vanilla Ice song Ice, Ice Baby. Uh, Hank correct me if I'm wrong here but I think we might already have a massively choreographed dance that we did to Ice, Ice Baby; but you were about six and I was about nine. In the hazy fog of memory I also recall that we might have done one to the REM song Stand. Let's just hope those never see the light of day. (1:48)

John, if you really want to thank your subscribers, you should say I love uni - you people. You tried to trick me. You tried to trick me into saying that I love uni- Well, I don't. I don't love them and I don't care how many unicorn-loving subscribers we get! Hank, as far as I'm concerned, there could be a million unicorn-lovers in Nerdfighteria and still I WOULD SAY I HATE UNICORNS! (2:12)

Please show us The Yeti. Show us The Yeti! We've been waiting three years, let us see a picture of The Yeti! YETI! NOW! Nerdfighters, I have explained this to you before. I cannot show you a picture of The Yeti. Because if I do, the cute will break your computers, and then you'll be mad and you'll be emailing me like, I want a refund, give me back my computer money. Seriously: pictures of The Yeti are more damaging than the entertainment. Infinite Jest jokes, anybody? David Foster Wallace? No? Okay, moving on. (2:41)

You could give some money to charity. Now, that's an idea. Willy and I are going to give $1000 to the charity of your choice, Nerdfighteria. Leave a comment with the charity that you'd like Willy and me to give money to. Oooooor I guess technically the charity to which you'd like Willy and me to give money. (2:57)

And now I have to go to my personal training session so I can beat you in whatever ridiculous fitness challenges await us. But I will see you, singing, tomorrow. (3:06)

(Swishing material noises)
YES!
Kiss the camera. Kiss it. Kiss it! Kiss it. G' (3:18)



YES! Kiss the camera. Kiss it, kiss it. Kiss it. Good Boy.