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MLA Full: "A Feeling I've Never Felt Before." YouTube, uploaded by vlogbrothers, 22 September 2023,
MLA Inline: (vlogbrothers, 2023)
APA Full: vlogbrothers. (2023, September 22). A Feeling I've Never Felt Before [Video]. YouTube.
APA Inline: (vlogbrothers, 2023)
Chicago Full: vlogbrothers, "A Feeling I've Never Felt Before.", September 22, 2023, YouTube, 05:05,
The thing I cut out of this video is that I have a new kind of pain that I've never felt before and because it's new it's just kinda hard to deal with. I don't know what it means. I don't know how to make it feel better and I don't yet know what makes it worse. It's common to have muscle pain after radiation but I thought it would feel like other muscle pain I've had before and it just doesn't!

So weird. Anyway, that's a bummer. Good thing I got some positive new sensations as well! Thanks for that.

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Oh hey good morning, John. How's it going? Let's head over here, to the part of the room where I make video-why are we doing that? What's happened? Just very slow.

A couple of weeks ago, Orin was playing with some kids who were bigger than him, and like, they-there was a fall down. There was just some falling down and one of the bigger kids like kinda squished his head. Hopped up immediately and he was like running and crying, and I knew exactly what happened. Like instantaneously, because I have had this feeling. When something like pushes really hard on your head, you get like an instantaneous ice cream headache feeling that is very bad. And probably, he had never felt that feeling before. Now when he was like two, he got new feelings all the time. Like first bubble water, first spicy food, first time getting dizzy. But at six, the new sensations are coming less frequently and the unpleasant ones are surprising. It's like, “Oh my God. Is this really bad? I don't know what it is and I don't know how to make it go away and I don't know why it happened and it's scary.” And of course there's also like pleasant new sensations. But when you reach my age, you start to think maybe that the new sensations are done. Like you've had them all. That's legitimately a thought that I had had and, uh, if only right?

Having cancer has introduced a whole bunch of new sensations, new feelings, ways of feeling that I've never felt before—and it's weird. Like literally having this much beard is a new sensation that I didn't think I was gonna get that one, but like if it touches me and the face it tingles. It's weird. But also of course, lots of bad new sensations, right. Like the pain between your skin and your muscle all over your body at the same time that chemotherapy happily delivers to you. And there's also feelings that aren't like bad or good, they're just sort of otherworldly like pulling hair out of your head and having it not hurt. And this feeling is actually quite good. My hair is so soft. It's so soft. It feels so nice. It's a new sensation.

This is also a little bit the story of being a content creator. Like when you first start picking up, you get new sensations pretty frequently. You get like that first viral video, you get the first time somebody's really mean to you. But, we've been doing it for so long it starts to feel like maybe we've had all of the creator sensations. Maybe I need to get up on stage and do stand-up comedy to feel a new one. There's definitely an amount of, like, sensation-chasing, like I think some people even chase the negative sensations just because they want to feel. They wanna feel. I just wanna feel!

John, I gotta say this last couple of weeks, it was definitely a new sensation. This community was able to affect the world so significantly and so quickly. It's, like, actually disorienting. Like I saw of course a little bit more behind the curtain of how this was transpiring over time, but I also had access to your calendar which showed me how much time you were spending on this and trying to make things happen and pushing and giving and just like, freaking chess game over here. It was a lotta work and also I saw how freaked out you were. Like it's not fun to be disliked by powerful people and it's really intense to be working on something that's really important and knowing that it could go a lot of different ways. But yeah, this was in the last week, as a creator, like a new sensation, and it was a good one and it was made possible by the hard work of a lot of people. Like it might be, uhhh, like maybe the biggest thing we've ever done. Certainly in that period of time, just the magnitude of the impact of just, like, persistent polite communication resulting in literally hundreds of millions of dollars of impact. But John, I do have to say that this didn't just happen because of the energy and the power of this community. It also happened because you have spent a huge amount of time talking to people who understand these problems and thinking really hard about them in the context of the tools that you have access to. That made it so that you could, with other people, find an opportunity and then take it. And this is not a new sensation. I've had this one before, but I am very proud of you.

John, Pizzamas begins on Monday and another new sensation as a creator is searching for Pizzamas in the App Store and having your face pop up and then downloading an application to my phone where I could push on your face and see your face more. So yes, everyone, go get the Pizzamas app. It's on Apple and Android. And turn on push notifications because I will be sending out through the app a terrible dad's joke about pizza. Somehow, I'm still scrounging up pizza jokes. It's not been easy. And every day, you will get one of them delivered to you through push notifications through that app if you turn on push notifications for that app. Also, you will have access to the Pizzamas store a couple hours before everybody else if you have the app, and there are a few items that are limited in quantity and quite cool so that might actually matter.

Remember all profit from Pizzamas goes to decrease maternal and child mortality in Sierra Leone. John, I'll see you on Monday.