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Hank is Still Alive!

So...there was a bit of a glitch and I had to snag the evil core RIGHT OUT OF THE AIR! But I did it!

Portal 2 Begins Tomorrow!!
Hello and welcome to Hank Green plays Portal. Hopefully very close to the end of Portal. Hopefully I will kill GLaDOS. Here she is. (GLaDOS: ...I guess we both know that isn't going to happen) Nope. (GLaDOS: Time out for a second, that wasn't supposed to happen) (laughing

(0:37) What is it? (GLaDOS: Where are you taking that thing?) What do you want me to do? (GLaDOS: ...touching it will just make your life even worse somehow) I don't know that I could - that my life could be that much worse, GLaDOS. You've locked me and tortured me and shot me, and that thing totally opened a thing that I could take this to. And it closed. 

(1:07) (GLaDOS: Pick it up and just...stuff it back into me.) That's definitely going to happen. (GLaDOS: ...just put it in the corner, and I'll deal with it later) Is that what you meant by the corner? Is that what you meant? You made me kill my cube! So you must face the consequences.

(1:48) (GLaDOS: [laughing] Good news: I figured out what that thing you just incinerated did) Why are you so creepy? (GLaDOS: get comfortable while I warm up the neurotoxin emitters) Oh, great. Oh, well, you know I have to get out of here some way.

(2:11) You're a turret, aren't you? Nope, that was not good. That looks good. You going to hit it? You going to hit it? Yes! What - where's it going? It went over there - that's weird. Doesn't seem right at all. Alright.

(2:41) (Curious Core: Who are you? What's that?) Are - are we talking? You seem nice. Why aren't you GLaDOS? Ahhhh, I shall shoot you to death! (GLaDOS: ...It's murder...) You know what else is murder? Is the way that you tried to kill me! 

(3:03) Maybe if I do this I can get out of this nightmare, woman! (GLaDOS: two plus two is ten...IN BASE FOUR! I'M FINE!) two plus two, base four, yeah, you're fine. Woah! I do not want you to kill me. Ah, come on. Aaaah - get, yes! Where are you going? Where are you going, thing? Up there, up there. How do I get up there? Four minutes to get up there. Gotta use my portal tricks.

(3:45) (GLaDOS: ...companion cube...couldn't come because you murdered him) Yeah, that was all my idea. Oh, come on! Oh come on! What happened, why didn't I?

(4:18) Got you! (Cake Core: One 18.25 ounce package chocolate cake mix) This thing knows how to make cake! (GLaDOS: You're going to want to pack as much living as you can into the next couple of minutes) Yeah, you're psychot - oh shoot! Aaah!

(4:49) (GLaDOS: It makes shoes for orphans) Makes use for orphans? Yes! Around the rim. (Cake Core: [Screams]) Yeah, scream, you little intelligence unit! Are you gonna shoot more missiles at me? You are. 

(5:15) Aaaaah! No! I got shot in the back by a missile. Ah, I was so close! Are you serious? Do I have to start her from the beginning? I was doing really well! Okay, I have to start over from the neurotoxin. Still.

(5:51) Ugh, that wasn't good at all. I'm over here, shoot me over here. God, I gotta get farther away from those rockets! Oh, come on! Ah, way off! Shoot! No, woman! Ah! How did it even miss me? 

(6:42) Oh, I suck! No, over here over here! Totally missed. There you go. You're right on - yes! Where're you going? You're going over there. Okay that took way too long, and I'm frustrated by that. (Curious Core: ...What's that? What is THAT? Ooh, that thing has numbers on it!) I like the curious one.

(7:27) (GLaDOS: ...two plus two is [static]) 2+2 is what? Yes! First try and I know how to get this one now. I don't know how it bounces like that. (GLaDOS: I'd just like to point out that you were given every opportunity to succeed) I don't know what your definition of succeed is, GLaDOS.

(8:05) What, where did I end up? Oh, over there. Darn it! (GLaDOS: It says right here in your personnel file: Unlikeable. Liked by no one...) You know, I don't care what you say, GLaDOS.

(8:47) Get it! Get it! Yes! Where's it going? Where is it? I thought it was right there. I see it, but it's not there! Where? What the frick? Why is it hovering in the middle of the air? Why am I stuck? Things aren't allowed to hover in the middle of the air! 

(9:31) Ugh. Why is it sitting in the middle of the air? I don't understand. Is that supposed to do that? It doesn't seem right. I almost hit it, that time. Come on! How do I hit that?

(10:16) (GLaDOS: ...Okay, enough, I deleted it. No matter what happens now, you're dead) Okay, but, how do I get that, and why is it sitting there? Come on! I grabbed it! Is this how it's supposed to work? Somebody tell me if I'm seeing a glitch. Ah, I wish there were comments all the time.

(10:41) Yes! I grabbed it. I grabbed it. I grabbed it out of the middle of the air. Why was it stuck in the middle of the air? (Angry Core: [GROWL]) Oh, this one is angry! This one is angry and I do not know what to do, and I have very little time left.

(11:09) Die! Is that it? Is that it? Did I get it? Did I do it? Did I - things seem to be broken! Whooo. That was intense. Okay where - should I run away? (GLaDOS: Did you hear me? I said you don't care. Are you listening?) Oh, GLaDOS, I - you gave me no choice, woman! Wow you have powerful things. Have I just been struck in the head by a thing? Okay things are falling. Things are coming down. Lots - okay, it's cool, it's cool, it's cool. They're all going out, they're going that way. I'll stay down here. You guys go that way. Alright.

(11:43) Oh, no, I'm coming too. I'm also coming. Please. Okay, I'll be alright. Okay. Portal, Portal is, what is Portal doing? How is Portal? Whiteness. Yes! Please, no burning chunks fall on me because I just worked really hard to get out of that mess! I'm outside. (Announcer: Thank you for assuming the party escort submission position) (laughing) The what? Somebody's dragging me. What is dragging me? It appears that something is dragging me somewhere. I don't like that.

(12:32) Pipes. I feel like I'm going into the Death Star. Woah, ah! Oh, my God there are so many GLaDOS cores. So many. And all in the middle of them is a cake. And my companion cube. Uhhhh, it's so creepy. And now we have the end. The end of the game.

(13:25) *Still Alive/Credits*

(16:22) Thank you for participating in this Enrichment Center activity. Thank you for watching Hank plays Portal. Clearly I am finished now. There are bonus maps I could play, but I've played through the game and I've played the bonus maps previously in my career as a Portal player. Looking forward to Portal 2 with a great deal of anticipation.

(16:46) I'm sure that this video is going to get copyright flagged and taken down. Hopefully not. Uh, but. Thank you for watching. You will not see me and I will not see you next time, when Hank plays Portal 2 or when Hank plays whatever else you're watching Hank play these days. Alright. Thank you and goodbye.