Hi!

[intro]

All right, so imagine an early biped walking around the planet, ten thousand years ago. This person's got cracked heels, callused feet - a lot of things going on with her soles. She finds herself some leftover mammoth hide, and straps it onto her feet, and now we've got first-generation sandals, which have then become shoes, and heels, and what is now a $100 billion industry.

Why is this industry so booming? Because in addition to wanting to safeguard our toes, we also like to express ourselves through our footwear.

Human beings also use similar systems to avoid making babies, and to protect themselves from diseases. They also started with animal parts.

Condom materials have evolved to include latex rubber, so you don't have to share your animal friends during your sexual episodes.

Dams! Dams are a form of protection for anilingus or cunnilingus - oral sex on the vulva, or oral sex on the anus - and they are made out of polyurethane or latex, laid over top of the person's body fluid membrane. The partner can lick, like this, and have fun without exposing face-to-groin or groin-to-face.

In-condoms! Condoms that go inside the body. (Expiration date!) It kind of looks like a bag, and inside it has a ring that's similar to the NuvaRing, except this one does not have hormones in it, and on the outside there's also a ring.

The way that I recommend people to insert this into the vagina is to twist it into a figure eight, so you can hold on to this slippery, lubricated-on-the-inside-outside condom, stick it into the vagina, push it all the way back past the pubic bone, so it holds in place, and then this ring here covers the vulva to protect you from herpes and HPV.

Object of insertion - not here, or here - inside the condom. Person does their thing, exits, and this to clean up, just turn this ring, pull it out, and put it in the trash.

One of the really great things about this condom is that you can put it in hours in advance. You can also protect yourself as the receptive partner. Sometimes people don't like it because it's noisy, but what I say is to make more of your own noise, or know that that is the sound of you protecting yourself!

This condom can also be used for anal sex [Not FDA approved] - you can leave the ring in for an interesting sensation, or pull it out, and then because it's so heavily lubricated on the inside and outside, slide it onto the object of insertion, and into the rectum, with less tearing.

Oooooh, lube-y!

First thing you're going to do is check the expiration date. Then, you're going to let go of the erection, you're going to tear this little piece on the side and leave that guy on so you don't have to worry about finding it the next day.

Push the condom out - rather than getting it out with your fingernails, grab it with your fingertips - and then make sure it's going in the right direction.

See that you have rolled it on your two fingers, it's easily moving down. If it doesn't, and you tried it on your fingers - not to worry, there are no bodily fluids there. But if you try it on your penis and it goes the wrong way, make sure to throw that condom away.

Grab all of this excess material here - pinch it, so that there's no air inside - set it on the glands, or the head of the penis, and then roll is over the corona, this ridge right here. Should roll all the way down to the base - watch out for pubic hair, make sure that it fits comfortably and that there's no air up in this portion here. We want this excess material here, because that's where the seminal fluid goes.

When you're finished, the person wearing the condom pulls it off, away from anyone's body that could get pregnant, or infected with a disease, and slowly remove it so that the fluid does not spill out.

When you have the condom, off of the body part, tie it in a knot, and throw this guy in the trash.

[laughs]