(PBS theme plays)

Victoria: There's no such thing as zombies. We are studying the affects of cryopreservation and subsequent revitalization on brain tissue following severe traumatic injury!

Iggy: Hmm, sounds like a riveting introduction. Will you at least listen to my version? 

Victoria: Fine! Speak.

Iggy: Today, on Frankenstein MD: Zombies! Why they gots to eat so many brains? What do you do if they try to eat your brain? How come they're so slow except for like one out of every twenty movies when they're super fast? All these questions and more will be answered, right now, on...

(Frankenstein MD theme plays)

Victoria: None of these hypothetical zombie scenarios have any bearing on our work with Robert's body.

Iggy: Last one, I promise.

Victoria: /eye roll/ Fine.

Iggy: /clears throat/ You're in a library-

Victoria: What kind of library?

Iggy: Why does it matter?

Victoria: Local public library? Huge campus library?

Iggy: A big library! 

Victoria: How many stories?

Iggy: A five story library! It's in the art-deco style. Next month, they have an exhibit featuring Jane Austen's private letters, but that's only open Monday through Thursday until 4 PM! Enough details?

Victoria: Sufficient.

Iggy: So, zombie loose in the library. Too many civilians around. You can't risk a shotgun blast! You're out of time. What do you do?

Victoria: Ah... I would try to reason with it.

Iggy: Okay, let's say that... uh, the undead don't listen to reason. 

Victoria: Zombie violence is stimulus driven. Don't stimulate and they won't respond. 

Iggy: But let's say you're not agitating the subject at all, and it's still trying to slurp up your delicious juicy brains like Ramen noodles.

Victoria: Then, the explosive behavior could be linked to an improperly functioning orbital frontal cortex. Or, an overactive hypothalamic pituitary adrenal axis!

Iggy: Hmm... okay, interesting. How would you treat that?

Victoria: A treatment could include -

Iggy: Okay, hold on, I'm going to write this down.

Victoria: Why would you need to write this down?

Iggy: Um, can't be too prepared?

Victoria: For zombies?

Iggy: Zombies, werewolves, vampires...

Victoria: Frankenstein's monster?

Iggy: Hey, that's catchy!

Victoria: You're going to look for him! That's what this is all about!

Iggy: Vic, come on, that's crazy! You said yourself he's already dead.

Dr. Waldman: Doctor DeLacey did you find a straight jacket?

Iggy: Err, yes. I hope we find crazy Aunt Bethany soon Dr. Waldman! We'll get her the help she needs. Poor old Bethany. 

Victoria: If you find the creature call me immediately.

Iggy: Vic

Victoria: Promise me!

Iggy: OK, OK I promise.

Eli: Victoria?

Victoria: Gotta go. You promised!

(Eli enters)

Victoria: What's wrong?

Eli: When's the last time you saw Rory?

Victoria: Before she left for her camping trip. Why?

Eli: Justine just called me - Rory's missing.

Victoria: Missing?

Eli: They went hiking and then they got separated and Rory didn't come back.

Victoria: Has she filed a police report?

Eli: Justine was really upset on the phone, I didn't get to ask many questions.

Victoria: Okay, well, Rory is pretty adventurous-

Eli: But not reckless.

Victoria: Where was she hiking?

Eli: Mount Falcon. What? 

Victoria: (whispering) It fits the pattern.

Eli: Okay, I'm not in the mood to play FBI agents right now.

(Eli's phone buzzes)

Eli: Hey, Justine. Ye-Yessir. This is he. Lavenza. L-A-V-E-N-Z-A.  ... I understand.

Victoria: Eli?

Eli: The police need to speak to us.

Victoria: (voice breaking) Because Rory is missing?

Eli: They found her.

(Victoria sobs)

(Frankenstein MD outro plays)