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I’m Dr.

Lindsey Doe, a clinical sexologist and doctor of human sexuality. This sex curious show is Sexplanations.

Today’s episode is sponsored by Adam & Eve dot com, an online warehouse of sexual relief. [WHIP CRACKING, COUGH]. Sometimes we just can’t get off in the way we want to. We needdddd sexual relief but there are all sorts of barriers cock-blocking our pleasure.

I’m thinking... sick partner, scheduling, chaffed dick, recovering from surgery, lack of privacy, shame, and or just not feeling in the mood for the go-to get-off routine. Don’t worry I got you. There isn’t just one way to release all that built-up sexual tension.

There’s at least 13! 1. Eating cocoa. This might not lead to an orgasm, uh, it can, but it is shown to stimulate the same part of the brain as orgasm.

So when you get a hit of high-cocoa chocolate or eat cocoa nibs it can feel like being relieved from arousal. It does for me. I get turned on a lot and if there isn’t an opportunity to take care of it with genital stimulation, I just melt a small bit of 88% dark on my tongue and voila -- everything goes back to a resting state. 2.

Mutual masturbation. Let’s say that your choice for sexual relief is usually pelvis-to-pelvis contact. Penetration, rubbing, straps on, etc. but for whatever reason that’s not an option.

Lying side by side and touching your own bodies is another way to go. It affords you the intimacy of sex, the accuracy of masturbation, AND relief. This is great for me when my orifices get worn out but I’m still horny and want to come. 3.

Solo masturbation. Sexual relief doesn’t require another person. Spend some time seducing yourself with a good meal, hot bath, maybe some porn or a romcom.

Soothe your skin with oil, get comfortable and play with yourself. Rub one or more, or none, out. Linger, tease, and have FUN experimenting with your own sensuality. 4.

Phone sex. This is one of my favorite ways to get sexual relief. I send a text or call my partner (who consents to these types of conversations) and we’re off... narrating a sex scene -- who is doing what with what intention then imagining how it feels.

I can be talked through an entire cycle of arousal but sometimes it’s also nice to touch yourself while doing it. 5. Video! Partners aren’t necessary for sexual relief.

It’s possible to take care of business with your sweet sweet self. One way to do this is video. If you have a phone with a video camera you can prop it up with pillows, hold it with one hand maybe while the other works it.

I’m a big fan of clasping it between my feet and getting the crotch shot of all the fun I’m having here. Again, this can be for me, it can be live for someone who consents to watch, it can be archived for a later date. It’s such an exhilarating way to move sexual energy out into the world. 6.

Playing with toys. This is called a stroker or a sleeve and can be held between cushions, mattress and bed spring, in one’s hand, in a partially closed door, by another person, or with a special shower mount. The sexual relief comes from thrusting an erection into the opening.

Dildos are made to give a sensation of fullness and friction to orifices like the vagina and anus. Vibrators send a powerful and constant pulsation to an erogenous zone, anus, perineum, vagina, clitoris, penis, nipples, that sore spot on my neck.... Strap-ons are great for sexual relief via penetrating and or being penetrated, prostate massage, role reversal, powerplay, sexual exploration!

And for a real playground experience, a Sex swing!!!!! 7. Kink. This is my flogger which doesn’t bring me sexual relief but it can for people who value the sensation of being whipped.

Similarly spanking, temperature play, humiliation, and bondage can be an outlet for a thriving libido. I just got this tie in the mail with condoms and gloves all over it -- PERFECT for tying someone up or being tied up to have sexual relief. 8 Tantra. Tantra is a tradition that can encompass 13 more forms of sexual relief.

As a whole practice though there is focus on harnessing sexual energy, and that can mean relieving sexual tension by absorbing it, redistributing it, or spinning it spiritually into an energy orgasm that goes out into the universe. Did you feel it? 9. Breathing.

Breathing is a huge component of tantra, but you can breathe intentionally and get sexual relief without tantra, too. For example, when I’m all worked up in my groin and the parts are engorged with blood begging to be set free, breathing oxygen into that blood can send me right over the edge into an orgasmic bliss or dissipate my aroused state into a calmer one sexually relieved one. 10. Exercise.

Maybe you can’t do your partners right at this very moment. Maybe there just isn’t time to masturbate or express your sexual desires creatively. You can exercise.

Physical activity can be very effective at exhausting the sex drive right out of you. Can be... sometimes it fans the flames. That’s okay, there are other options: 11.

Touch. Like massage and tickling and scratching. There’s crossover here with kink and masturbation and toys for that matter, but so many more kinds of touch that can communicate sexual intimacy and bring relief.

Lately I’m really into gentle kisses on my wrists and swaying back and forth in an embrace. Just being held can elicit an enormous amount of relief. 12. Fantasy.

Did you know that it is possible to orgasm from fantasy alone? Thinking about what turns you on and then spooludge, you’re coming. Here I think about people I’ve worked with who have severe disabilities.

They’re not able to move anything but their faces and they definitely want sexual relief. One way? Using the mind to charge the body, go into the sexual space, play around with story-lines and characters, then guide yourself mentally back to tranquility.

If this seems unrealistic, it may be because we’re taught getting off is comprised of limited activities. Sexual relief is often portrayed rigidly in media and in many of our lives acted out as one of two familiar behaviors. 13. Is Permission, permission to expand your idea of sex.

Relieve yourself from the expectation that coming is achieved by strict means or that you need to come at all. I’ve found orgasms and sexual relief in thinking about sex, doing front flips on a trampoline, dry humping, listening to someone else receive pleasure, crossing my legs, eating delicious food, and driving. Mmm, that centrifugal force.

The key is to recognize what isn’t possible at the time, then set yourself free to explore all the many many other possibilities. Stay curious. All these sex toys and lots more can be found at adamandeve.com.

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