Craig: You're right! Congratulations! I'm really excited for you, I'm going to stand on that table with a cowboy hat. Giddy up!

This is great news for you, not so much for Hans though. He at the time had the longest beard in the world. One night he was called from bed by a nearby fire. As he rushed to help he bundled up his beard, he tripped on it, and he died. That's kind of a downer... Let's move on.

Round two! Crush my head, crush my head.

Fact one: All U.S. pilots, are required by the pilots union to go beardless, to maintain an aura of professionalism. Hey, I look pretty professional with a beard, am I right?

Two: Abraham Lincoln, began growing his famous beard after an 11 year old girl named Grace Bedell wrote him a letter saying he would look good with one. Whether she did or not, he certainly does.

Which one's it going be? While you decide, allow me to reenact Hans Steiningher's unfortunate death by beard.

Hans, there's a fire, come help!

Huh, where, oh oh, bundle up beard, bundle up beard, trip, dead.