Good morning, John, thank you for your thoughtful and intelligent discussion of advertisements on Monday. And now, for something completely different.

(singing)
Now and then I see you in my rear-view mirror
As I drive by on my way to the grocery store
Your sandwich artists always seem quite kind
But your bread is crumbling all the time
It's been a while, I think I owe you an explanation
See, you can get addicted to a certain kind of sandwich
This recognition that a sub is not just a sub
So when I found that their delivery
Was so fast it almost frightened me
Well, I'll admit that I was glad to stop eating Subway

So now I order Jimmy John's
Their website stores my favorites and my credit card number
Sometimes you just need a sub
But I just cannot be bothered to care where it comes from
And it's true that they don't toast their subs
But if I want it toasted, then I'd go to Quiznos
I prefer an Unwich though
So now you're just the Subway where I used to go

The Subway (where I used to go)
The Subway-ay-ay
The Subway (where I used to go)
The Subway-ay-ay
(song ends)

(talking)
Probably a lot of people in the comments right now are wondering how much Jimmy John's paid me to make that video, and the answer is no, no dollars at all were exchanged, I just saw this picture on Tumblr.

Though that song was not an advertisement, that thing over there is. The American eyeball, or generally, the affluent eyeball, and yes, you are affluent if you have an internet connection fast enough to watch YouTube videos, is one of the most valuable commodities in existence on Earth right now. So valuable, in fact, that many amazing services can be offered for free in exchange for nothing more than those eyeballs.

I don't like advertisements, sorry to people in the advertising business, but I've seen too many Geico commercials that don't say anything about anything, to feel like you're not wheedling around in my brain and making me do things I don't even know I'm doing. But the internet is built on the idea that this stuff should be free, so that's problematic, because advertising is then the only model. And if you want YouTube to be free and yet continue employing thousands of people, you're gonna have to look at ads. But if you don't want YouTube videos to be supported by ads and you don't want them to be free, then we should talk about that. If there's a way to make an online company that doesn't rely on users providing their psyche and their behavioral habits to be put into a collective commons that is then auctioned off literally to the highest bidder, let's have that conversation. John, I'll see you tomorrow.
(end screen)

And I bought three subs to make that music video, I just felt weird about going into those places and not buying subs, we were going to film, so, now I have three submarine sandwiches. Shut up.

This is a hot fish. Hot fish. This is a hot fish. This is a hot fish, it's a hot... it's a hot fish. (laughing) Hot fish.