Good morning Hank; it’s Wednesday. In case you missed the news yesterday, I can finally tell you the title of my new-- video title, you ruined it!

The title was inspired by a line from Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar: “The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars / But in ourselves, that we are underlings.” Which is an easy thing to say if you’re like, you know, Shakespeare or a Roman nobleman, but in the broad sense, I don’t know that I agree with Shakespeare a hundred percent so, that’s the title, The Fault in Our Stars.

I actually kind of stole the title from a Nerdfighter, missxrojas on YouTube, so thank you Nerdfighteria! In other thank you Nerdfighteria news, these are the top three bestselling books on Amazon right now, Hank. The Fault in Our Stars is number one on both Amazon and Barnes and Noble. YES! I have an exclamation to use in such situat-- French the Llama. Thank you so much to everyone who’s pre-ordered the book; there’s a link in the doobly-doo, dft.ba/tfios -- that’s not a very good title for shortening -- uh, at which you can pre-order the book, so yeeedadababoobok! It’s only like nine dollars!

Also, Hank, if you pre-order The Fault in Our Stars, there is a one hundred percent chance that it will be autographed by me, and when I say one hundred percent chance, I mean that I am signing every single copy of the first printing. And I don’t mean some machine is gonna sign it, I mean I'm gonna sign it with my hand, also probably a Sharpie.

Speaking of which, Hank, a couple of days ago I was at Target and I was in the Sharpie aisle and I was trying to decide like which Sharpie to use for signing these, uh, tens of thousands of books. And I had a bit of an existential crisis because I was like do I sign it in black Sharpie but if I do that then they might not even think it’s real, if I do like blue or red it might be kinda like ostentatious, if I do green they’re gonna think I’m punning on my name!

So, Hank, I’m just gonna delegate this whole Sharpie-color fiasco; there is a link in the doobly-doo to a poll in Your Pants. That sounds dirty. Also Hank, in the last twenty-four hours, Nerdfighters have made hundreds of covers for The Fault in Our Stars, some of them really, really good; in fact, there are so many really, really good ones that I want to show them all to you, but I don’t have anything left to say so I’m just gonna throw you a Sing-a-ma-jig concert. [Sing-a-ma-jig noises]

God, I’m good at the Sing-a-ma-jig. So, to summarize, Hank, pre-order link in the doobly-doo, all pre-orders will be signed, thank you so much for making it the number one best-seller on Amazon, and [Sing-a-ma-jigs four notes] also for your amazing covers. In retrospect, Hank, I don’t know why I spent four years writing this book when I could have just made a hit Sing-a-ma-jig album.

In other news, Nerdfighters, I don’t know if you’ve started reading The Great Gatsby, but I’m going to start talking about it today, but I’m only going to talk about the epigraph and the first sentence, so no spoilers. At this rate, it’s going to take me like twelve hundred videos to get through the book. Right, so Hank, you know how pretentious novels like this one always start with quotes at the beginning of the book -- those are called epigraphs.

Well, The Great Gatsby has a famous epigraph by the poet Thomas Park D'Invilliers that goes like this: “Then wear the gold hat, if that will move her, if you can bounce high, bounce for her too, until she cry lover, gold-hatted, high-bouncing lover, I must have you.”

So here’s an interesting thing about that epigraph, Hank: Thomas Park D'Invilliers doesn’t exist. So two things to remember about the epigraph: one, it’s made up, and two, it contains the word ‘golden’ twice. Both of which are important, because Gatsby is essentially a book about things that are made up and/or golden. So keep that in mind as you’re reading. Other things to keep in mind: anybody wearing glasses and the green light. God, I love the green light, it’s my favorite metaphor in any book ever! Except maybe Holden’s hunting hat.

And the last thing I would ask you to notice is the lyricism of the novel, I mean you can almost hear the rhythm of it from the first sentence. “In my younger and more vulnerable years, my father gave me some advice I have been turning over in my mind ever since.” Ok, now I feel like a teacher. To give you an assignment, you have until two weeks from today to read the first six chapters of Gatsby, and there will be a quiz, and I don’t want any sass! Alright, Hank, just to remind you, don’t forget about the poll in Your Pants; I’ll see you on Friday.