Hank Green: I'm on tour.
Everyone: Woo!
HG: Here's the first venue.
Andrew Huang: First venue.
Joe DeGeorge: Hank, is this on?
Hank Green and The Perfect Strangers: (Singing)
My life as a mother pheasant plucker is pleasant
Just listening to music as I pluck mother pheasants...
It's pretty good. They should have painted it a color. Well they did paint it a color but the other one's gold and they should have made this one blue.
(Honking noise) Oh, what's this one? This is the bay bridge. What was that one? I don't know things. Bread! Woo! Woo! Bread.
Driftless Pony Club: (Singing)
I'll gladly have a coronary.
I will never ever get it
Never Ever.
That won't bring back my only daughter.
I don't mind if I die unidentified
As long as I'm buried in architecture.
HG: Hi, how's it going? None of you are wearing skirts, right?
Craig Benzine: Knock 'em dead. Kill 'em.
HG: I'm gonna kill everybody in the room.
CB: That's gonna be a lot of murders.
HG: Hey, you came!
AH: I made it.
(Crowd cheering)
HG&TPS: (Singing)
Sometimes the world looks perfect
HG: Raise your hand if this is your first concert of your whole life. Hi. How... I know. They're here. This means so much to me, it's like the best thing I could ever, like, hope for is that I'm part of that experience because, like, everybody remembers their first concert so you'll never forget me.
Third show, backstage, Eugene. The, well (?) Andrew.
AH: Eugene!
HG: Mike.
Mike (?): Eugene!
HG: There's no-one else in here. Refrigerator.
Voice: Eugene!
HG: I haven't really been documenting this tour very well. I'm tired, uh, we spent a lot of time in the car today because Eugene is far away from San Francisco. I mostly worked 'cause I have a card that lets me get on the internet when we're in a car which is the awesomest. Driftless Pony Cub's killing it right now. People are very excited. We got a box of Voodoo Doughnuts. Craig dropped my calzone on the floor so now I have dusty calzone.
Hey.
(Crowd cheering)
Raise your hand if you don't know what's going on.
Voice: Woo!
HG: Hey. Thanks for indulging your friends. Raise your hand if you have, like, a word of wisdom for people who haven't been to concerts before.
Voice: Wear deodorant.
HG: That's a good one. That's a good one. Another tip is when I ask you to raise your hand... Yes, right here in the front.
Woman: Wear comfortable shoes.
HG: Wear comfortable shoes. That's a good one. Don't wear high heels to a concert, you will die. Your feet will fall off of your body, they will be removed from your body. Yes, here in The Cat in the Hat shirt.
Man: Just stay positive.
HG: Stay positive. Yeah, feel good about it. Feel good about the experience. Here in the front.
Woman: It's gonna be really hot so, like, wear not hot...
HG: Yeah, it gets hot. Yeah. There's like, you will never be closer to other people. Like, you will never touch as many strangers as you will today. Yeah, here.
Man: Know where the bathroom is 'cause when you need it you need it.
HG: Yeah, know where the bathroom is. Good, scope the bathroom out. That's a good ulcerative colitis tip as well. Uh, here. Yeah.
Man: Come with friends.
HG: Come with friends. That's good but, I mean, you could also come alone. Raise your hand if you came alone. Thank you guys so much for coming by yourselves. It's very brave. And then you'll high five this person next to you who I guess you're friends with now. Well done. Yes, in the Holden Caulfield shirt.
Woman: Don't be afraid to make friends.
HG: Yeah, don't be... Yeah. Talk to strangers, man. You're all into the same things. I can tell because you came to the same concert.
Fourth show. We are in Portland. The venue is very hot and I am about to go on stage, I'm very nervous. So I'm hot and nervous and I'm going to be much hotter and less nervous in about 45 minutes when we're done.
JDG: Join me if you will with a hand in the air and repeat: I pledge allegiance.
Crowd: I pledge allegiance.
JDG: To this show.
Crowd: To this show.
JDG: To make this show.
Crowd: To make this show.
JDG: The best show.
Crowd: The best show.
JDG: That I can possibly make.
Crowd: That I can possibly make.
JDG: On my honor.
Crowd: On my honor.
JDG: I will do my best.
Crowd: I will do my best.
JDG: To do my duty.
Crowd: To do my duty.
JDG: To rock and roll!
HG: Here we are in the green room at the, where are we?
Voices: Analog.
HG: Analog Theater. I just met this nice man.
Nice man: Ah.
HG: How's it going?
NM: It's great.
HG: And these young ladies. There's more than one show going on right now if you're wondering. This isn't part of our act. Yet! Yet. How much do you cost?
NM: How much, anything.
HG: Yeah, to be part of my act. (Laughing) Just Snickers bars.
I got a fox hat.
