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In an extra-long episode, we journey to Farzville, a magical land of low density residential areas, pipes, traffic management, and GENERAL URBAN PLANNING!!!


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 (00:00) to (02:00)

Hello and welcome to Games with Hank. I am the Hank, and today the game is going to be Cities Skylines. I'm very excited about this. I've played it just a little bit, before I started recording.

I grew up on simulation games. Specifically, I played a lot of Sims City 2000 in my youth. Ever since Sims City 2000, though I guess 3000 was alright, there just hasn't been really good city simulator comin' out of mainstream gaming companies.

Now, there are 2 that are out that are more indie developed. There's Cities Skylines and there is Cities XL and it seems, from my initial play of both of them, that Cities Skylines is a better game. It also seems to be the one that is currently live, whereas Cities XL is not really being actively developed right now.

So I wanna play the base, no mods, Cities Skylines right now. I might add some mods later, for later episodes of Games with Hank. But I'm just gonna go through and I'm gonna start making a city. I dunno what I'm gonna name it, maybe I should ask Twitter what I should name my Cities Skylines city.

Greenop--uh eh let's keep looking. Let's--nerdfighteria maybe? I could name it Nerdfighteria Island. I could maybe put it on an island. I don't know if they can do islands, but probably.

Dank Hank.  Bam.  The amazing book is not on fire.  Melvin Panem Dong City.  This person wants me to name it Dong City.  DFTBAcropolis.  David.  Just name it David.  Swindontown!  Portlandia.  Hankopolis.  Two people said Hankopolis in a row.  Curly Fries.  Fartsville.  Mordor.  Ooh, Cliffside Bay looks neat, and it's gonna be called Fartsville!  Farzville.  Fartsville.  It's not spelled F-A-R-T-Z, it's far--far--but it is pronounced Fartsville.  Sandy beach.  Diamond coast.  Lagoon shore.  I like the look of this one.  Let's use Lagoon shore.  Alright, I like the look of Lagoon shore, it's where I'm starting.  Mouse over icons.  When a building has more than one icon showing, click one and hover over the icons to learn what's wrong.  

Alright, here we are.  Ooh, this is a weird thing.  We've got like a crater on the map.  That's odd.  That's an odd, odd one there.  Alright.  Hello, let's start by building some--I don't need you, I've done this before.  Apparently I'm not super--ooh, that's a nice little interchange.  Alright.  Yeah, I know how to--I know what I'm doing!  I'm gonna build some roads.  I just got a text message.  Paul and Storm--it wasn't a text message, it was a Tweet from my friend Paul or possibly my friend Storm that said, "So much for all my freetimesville" is what I should call my city.  What does this say, what does that icon mean?  

 (02:00) to (04:00)

I don't know, is this an--it looks like it's an X-ACTO knife, but it's not.  Alright, let's uh--I can't--I can only build this kind of road.  Construction costs: $650--we're gonna do the same thing over here.  I don't know what we're doing, I--this is just the city I want to build.  And probably we should just connect these, since I don't really know what we're going for with double road except for places to put trees.  Alright, let's obviously what we need real bad right now is some residential so--oh, I should probably build a road through the middle of that.  Yeah, perfect, good.  What's wrong?  Yeah, okay.  That looks--that looks pleasant.  I would wanna live there.  Yeah, okay, and this side, too.  Let's just make it all.  I don't know why I lost one little square there in the middle, that's disappointing.


 (04:00) to (06:00)

So one of the things that upsets me in general about city simulation games is that they're always like, 'Build a power plant' and I'm like, why?  That's not how cities work.  You don't need to build a power plant to make your city--that's--you just connect to the grid like any--oh, that's so expensive.  They want power.  Why did they start building over there?  Come over here, build closer to where the power is.  I've made a mistake.  Okay, well, you guys figure it out, keep in mind that wind turbines' power output depends on wind velocity and that's trouble.  Uhh, so, yeah, so, if you're building a bi--you just--you don't--you're building a city, you like, you--not every city has a power plant.  Most cities do not have power plants, there are power plants way outside of the city somewhere and that place that--and then, it's not a city service, it's not something that the city does for the citizens, power plants are controlled by companies and then the consumer of the power pays for the power, and that's how that works, it has nothing to do with public service, this--I don't understand why we have--why I have to do that.  Industrial out here by the power plant, 'cause that makes sense if you're building a road in the wrong spot, you can bulldoze it, and now we also need, we need some kind of water pumping device.  I've put it all the way over there, which now I am wishing I--yeah, I've made a mistake.  Can I undo that?  Ctrl-Z!  Yes.  That's what I want to do.  Just--it was too far downstream, 'cause I--I wouldn't--I would have had to place the sewer outflow before the water pump, you don't want that.

 (06:00) to (08:00)

I don't know if the--if this game actually cares about that, but you don't--you don't want that.  Oh man, am I gonna have to build my frickin' power lines all the way over there?  That disappoints me.  I am disappointed in all of you.  Okay, you've got power that annoys me, I am annoyed, and now I have to bring power out there, that is also annoying, and now we have to pipe.  We gotta pipe some water to my--my people.  Power plant needs water. Power plants need water very badly, by the way, they cannot operate at all without water.  Oh, now I need sewage.  I need a sewage thingy!  And then gotta connect that to the pipe as well, okay, everything's fine, now we've basically got a city that works as far as I know, this city should--Farzville should now function.  I've got -$858 per thing, that's not ideal.  You guys, really, you still need to poop, you still need poop water?  I feel like I got you hooked up.  Okay, you're all good now?  Okay, good.  We do need commercial zones, though.  You guys want some shopping?  You want a shopping district?  I'm gonna build that this way, and then I don't know what I'm gonna do.  What am I gonna do?  Commercial district is gonna be down here.  Uh, un--yeah, okay.  So I wanna--I wanna maybe make a curvy road, how do I do that?  Oh, yeah, like that, neat.  Yeah!  Okay.  

 (08:00) to (10:00)

Good.  Curvy road.  You can build elevated roads as well.  What did I do, two?  Did I do two?  I just--I don't want it curvy, I want regular, I want regular.  Regular road.  Now a curvy road.  Now a regular road again.  This looks nice.  That looks like a--like an area that needs some commercial development to me.  It's not really what I meant to do, but okay, whatever.  You can always de-zone if you have too much.  How you doin', cars?  How's traffic?  Just turn off.  I just wanna see how my city is doing.  Is it doing good?  Are you good, city?  This has no plug--nothing to plug into.  We've got some industrialization going on.  That's exciting!  Got some commerciali--I'm gonna zoom out time go fast time.  Uh, I need commercial.  It's building commercial, lots of commercials being built.  Access the info-view to look at different information overlays about how your city works.  Electricity--everyone is electrified.  Water, everyone is waterfied.  Happiness, this person is not happy.  Why are you not happy?  Oh, somebody moved in?  What are you--what is that saying?  I don't know.  See more information about buildings, vehicles, and citizens by clicking on them.  Clicking just clicking them.  Wind.  I have a wind map.  Ooh, it's windy here.  I could totally be using strong wind in this area.  And then traffic light everywhere.  Holly Webb would like to thank Fr--but no, how long--whoa, we are at 460!  We've got 460 people, it's so exciting, we've got--we can have garbage now and healthcare and education, I should probably build an education of some kind.  The mayor is doing well.  Citizens and businesses keep moving in. 

 (10:00) to (12:00)

Oh, why are you building out there, you doofs?  There's no water!  Come on.  Ooh, oh, also down here, forgot about that.  Can you--you're not going to, no, that's too bad.  Whatever, everything's fine.  Movin' on up.  Okay, water pipes for everybody, everybody's gonna get all the things that they need, and now I've--I've got positive revenue, you guys!  Positive revenue, yeah!  Alright, let's go back--yeah, look at my pretty little city, it's so pretty, hi, everybody.  Hi.  Yay, tiny person, where ya going, Robert Parker?  Hi.  He's an uneducated adult.  He resides at the Florence Residence.  He works at Goods Unlimited, and he's going to the drug store.  I'm glad you're choosing to be a pedestrian today.  You can rename objects and districts--could I rename Robert Parker?  I could name Fan.  He's Fanny Fan.  That's Fanny Fan.  I've renamed Robert Parker Fanny Fan.  Nothin' wrong with that.  Okay, and got--I've got--I'm makin' $400--$500 somethin' dollars, oh, I've--now I can look at noise pollution.  Oh, those things are loud, these build--these businesses, and that's very loud over there.  What do you need?  Garments Limited, not enough workers?!  I need more workers!  Well, why don't they move in?  There's lots of space for them!  Go faster, Farzville citizens!  Build, build!  You are needed!  We need more citizens of Farzville.  Alright.  We've got a little palm tree over here, that's nice.  Mail order babies available!  Whoa, that's creepy.  Babies overnight, that's not what I want in my cities.  No, thank you.  Let's build more roads.  Oh, am I gonna have to knock down your house?  I'm sorry.  Oh, yeah, that makes you so sad, you're like, "I didn't want a road there!"

 (12:00) to (14:00)

"Who ever told you that that is what I--"  We gotta be callous in this game.  You gotta say, "I'm just gonna blast right over your house.  You aren't havin' anything to say about it, are you?  That's right.  You n'aren't."  I also should do that here.  Or maybe across.  Ah, ooh.  Perfect.  Yes.  Whoa, Annabel, what's wrong with our garbage collection service?  Trash is piling up, yo!  Yeah, well, I haven't built it yet.  That's what's wrong with it.  So let's build it.  Oh, ooh, I keep growing so fast!  I can have a loan and I can have districts and police.  No, policies.  And police.  And unique buildings.  Oh, ooh, ooh, ooh, oh, it's exciting, I feel so accomplished, I love this.  Give me--let me build it!  Yeah, gotta build myself one of these things.  What's--what's the big circle around it?  Is that like, the stink circle?  The circle of stink.  You need a landfill.  Alright, let's build a--what could I build?  I could build--what's this?  A medical clinic.  I bet people will like that.  A fire department.  People would love that.  Oh, I did not leave enough space.  I should build it over here.  Where should I build it?  I should have put stuff closer together!  Okay, fire department it is.  Look how happy they are.  I should build a school then they'll be even happier.  Is that--that's the landfill.  I don't wanna build that.  That's not what I want.  Education.  Build you a school!  For your children!  You need that, you need it for your children.  I'll just put it right here next to the fire department so that we've out--extra safe from potential fi--what, more water needs?  You guys, stop building in places where I haven't put water yet.  Aah!  Aah, out of my way!  

 (14:00) to (16:00)

An-a-na-ba-da-bap.  Alright.  Ga-garbage.  I have garbage.  I got garbage, it's right here.  Do you--does the garbage--it's a landfill, that doesn't need water.  Water consumption...water...okay, we've got plenty of water, we've got plenty of sewage capacity, everything's fine.  Alright.  I'm doing this.  Yeah, I know, it's so sad, I had to bulldoze your home.  What.  Let me do it.  Let me do it.  Let me do it.  Let me do it.  No, I wanna do it straight.  I wanna do it straight!  Okay, I guess I'll just make a spur, then.  I don't have to--not that I was--it doesn't have to be straight all the time.  I could be like whee--what's this?  I expected that to be weird, but it wasn't.  Just gonna build some suburby areas over here.  This is what suburb roads look like, right?  Always kind of curvy, little spurs for cul-de-sacs.  Invalid shape?  Yeah, like that.  Cul-de-sac, yeah, cul-de-sac it!  You know you want it, don't you?  Yeah.  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, it looks just like a frickin' subdivision, oh yeah.  Might as well be a frickin' golf course in there somewhere.  Bet you can have golf courses.  I mean, that, that connection wasn't exactly what I want--oh, probably don't wanna be right next to these sewage outflows, but whatever.  Yeah, alright, that looks neat and weird.  How many pipes can I build?  Can I build--can I cover all this?  

 (16:00) to (18:00)

Nope.  I cannot.  Alright, well, I just need more money.  Just keep earning me money.  I make $1,400 a week, you guys, I'm gonna be fine.  Alright.  I should be going faster, though, why am I going so slowly?  That's my problem.  I need time to build.  Build faster, you Farzville citizens.  I need more industrial, don't I?  Quite, quite, quite a lot.  Yes, interesting, interesting game.  Hmm.  Interesting.  Interesting game.  I guess I should just zone this.  People might as well move in.  No, no, no, no, no, dezone.  Dezone.  How do you dezone?  I--sorry, I did not mean to build you there.  Take it--take it away.  Offers neural transplants at low cost?!  That doesn't seem right.  I can like, do a clicky draggy, right?  Yeah.  Oh, boom.  Maybe I should have, like, commercial mixed in?  Ooh, $1,400, I'm a tiny town!  This is a tiny town, and you don't want me comin' round.  Oh this is a tiny town.  And you don't want me comin' round.  Okay, mixed--mixed commercial/residential, that's always good to have.  Right?  That looks like a thing, like, corner stores and stuff.  Ooh, eugh, sewage outflow, that's not ideal.  I'll deal with it, though.  It's fine.  Nobody wants to move in though.  Why don't they want to move in?  Come join us.  Oh, God, this--the amazing thing about this game is you can keep zooming out so you can have--so this one square that I have right now, that's like, 1/25 of the total map that you can get eventually, which is just extremely exciting to me.  Alright.  What did that message just say, I didn't catch it.  

 (18:00) to (20:00)

Oh, I need more water pipes.  I'm sorry I forgot about you, water needing industrial area.  I would build another road connecting those things together, which I feel like I'm eventually going to have a traffic problem here, but I'm not going to do that right now, because I don't have enough money to do it w--ooh, I do have quite a lot of money, and I'm making a lot of money, too.  So, I don't know.  It's t--I don't--traffic doesn't seem to be a current problem, I just don't have a lot of demand for anything in particular, but the suburbs, the suburbs are starting to look up.  Maybe people are going to be building their houses--oh, I gotta keep going fast, oh look at that little house get built!  Look at it, it's beautiful.  Yeah, that's not how you build a--oh, and the trees just immediately appear, why not.  So why don't you want to live here, this is a nice little neighborhood.  Can I--whoa, look at all the different things.  Land va--what is this?  Natural resources.  Ore.  What is--is that ore?  Fertile land.  I got a bunch of fertile land north of town.  Is that--is that ore then?  There's a ton of ore.  I've got a huge amount of ore over here, I didn't know that!  I should have checked.  Well, there's oil on this map, there's oil!  Oil!  Aw, that's exciting, and there's also a canyon crater.  Wind.  What's this?  Higher level buildings pay more taxes.  Crime.  People are starting to worry about crime, you guys, maybe I should get a police department, I don't know.  I don't know anything--I don't know anything about levels yet.  Our hazard, our fire hazard is not good in the industrial area, who cares about them?  Uh, land value, land value is starting to go up over here.  Oh, everybody's worried about crime.  There's cr--I'm having a crime wave, you guys!

 (20:00) to (22:00)

Municipal healthcare is a standard in any other city.  Well, it's not really a city, it's a tiny town.  Literally, I just told you that.  Alright, let's slow down and how do I build myself a police department?  Is that it?  That's fire.  That's health.  This is police.  So you guys want police, huh?  Is that what you want?  Got it.  Got one police department, and you're gonna get a--you're gonna get a healthcare solution as well, just a clinic, just a little clinic, that covers pretty much everybody.  Yeah, every--look at all those happy faces I made, I made so many happy faces!  Why is there still all these crime heads?  Why are you guys still worried about crime?  Stop worrying about crime.  Low density.  Low density crime rate is high, it's not, I got a police officer, he can fix it.  Where did I put him?  That's the clinic...put it over here, right?  Yeah.  Yeah, operating normally, the police station can just--police cars in use, 9 of 10.  I've got a lot of police cars in use.  Advisor help.  Build roads and zone next to them to--yeah, I know how that works, I did that, and I'm trying--uh-oh, what's the sewage pipe for?  Not enough electricity?  I'm running out of electricity already?!  You're frickin' joking me.  Is that really the case? Oh man, this is terrible, terrible news.  Where is the--crime rate is high, operating normally, power output 40 megawatts, and how much money do I have though?  Do I have to build another power plant, is that what's going on right now?  I will do it, if I need to.  I'll just put it right next door to the old one.  Yeah, alright, now electricity's all better, everything should be fine, and I apologize to my family for letting down the city in that way.  I'm not happy about this--just the entire existence of the industrial area, I really wish it did not exist, which I'm sorry to industry in general, that's how I feel.  

 (22:00) to (24:00)

Alright.  Pheew.  Alright.  Wooo, I can buy more land.  So this is where that oil is up there.  This is nice, though, this has like, got a bunch of beach.  How much do you cost?  I can buy it for $2,700 sesterces.  Uhh, that was a Rome pathway to power joke.  Building has leveled up, if you provide good services and education and have a high land value, zoned buildings in your city can be improved to a higher level buildings.  Higher level buildings pay more, yeah, I had a building level up, tell me more about it, no, I don't wanna buy things.  I can't afford it.  Where did all my money go?  What did I do?  Oh, I built a frickin' giant power plant, that's what I did.  Raaaah, you shouldn't have to build power plants!  I want a mod for this game and the only thing I want that mod to do is to make it so I don't have to build power plants, because that whole--the entire idea of needing power plants doesn't make any sense.  Alright, you got a big giant park in the middle of that area now, I hope you like it.  So do you.  You guys have parks.  You'd better enjoy them.  Still can't build that stuff.  I want to build medium density, you guys, why can't I do that?  Why'd I spend all that money on parks when I need to--clearly need to build a school?  Badly.  My citizens are not well-served by their schooling systems.  I'm going to have a bunch of uneducated citizens.  Citizens.  Feeling full of energy after a jog in the park.  Have you lost your wallet?  If--aww.  You lost a wallet?  That's so sad.  Apparently, there's like a citywide Twitter, which is quite nice, like Yik Yak.  Alright, I need more demand for more things.  Is that a--what is that?  Oh.  It's a--it's a--it's a Yakisoba.  They got yakisoba, and they've got a Go-Nuts Donuts there, too.  That sounds--that's great.  

 (24:00) to (25:16)

So this is how cities often happen, uh, in the beginning, they're built among grids, and then they're all like, oh, people like it when it's wibbly and bluhbluhbluh.  That's what they like.  Okay.  Well, I'm feeling pretty good about my first episode of Cities Skylines here, uh, what's happening here?  This looks like it's going to be something good.  What is it?  It's an apartment building?  I'm a boom town!  I'm booming!  I've got 2,400 people!  I can ore industry specialize, which is too bad, because I just built my suburbs on a bunch of ore deposits.  Oh, yeah, I can have a cloverleaf intersection and a three-way intersection and a large roundabout and a highway and a cemetery and advanced wind turbines and a bus depot.  That's very exciting.  Okay, we're gonna end here at boom town level on Cities Skylines.  I hope that you've enjoyed this episode as much as I've enjoyed making it and my little town of Farzville, you're awesome for watching, thanks, click the like button if you liked it, and DFTBA.