John: Hello, and welcome to Hankgames without Hank. My name is John Green, I'm the manager of the AFC Wimbledon Wimbly Womblys who toda- (gibberish)- who today have brought to the great neighborhood of Wimbledon, Olympique Marseille. All the way from France, from Marseille. Here they are playing the Wimbly Womblys at our home stadium.

In a stunning turn of events, it's raining in England. The, the jerseys are sticking to the players and frankly, can I say this Meredith? Just the way I like it. Is that misogynistic? Meredith says it isn't. That's a relief- look at that! Look at those V-shaped torsos.

Um, not going to lie we're starting a, uh, we're starting our 2nd best team here. Uh, there's Di Filippo. We're also starting, you may remember Green Eggs and Sheringham. He's still on our team? He is still on our team. We won three - nil the first time around, we're near the end of the season. Only 8 Premier League games left. We're on the outside looking in of the top 4. We've still got, uh, the F.A. Cup Final to play in. Lots of things are going on, so I just felt that, uh, as long as we can lose by less than three - nil, um, we'll be fine. 

So, uh... yeah, I just thought today would be a great day for sort of the Wimbly Womblys of the future, you know? Let's meet some of the future Wimbly Womblys and um... and learn about them. Uh... we've got, uh, Green Eggs and Sheringham- he's not a future Wimbly Wombly, he's more of a member of our past. But there Surman. He's my favorite ginger on our team, also the only ginger, but he's just fantastic.

Oh, that was a nice ball! Good job, Surman, you've got, he's got- and then you- well you can see even in Di Filippo is just- a lot of these guys they just, I- the reason that they're on our squad, making all the money that they're making is because I've, I've been tremendously impressed with each of their, uh, courage and hustle! Like many of them are in the 50s in terms of- there's Casey-Casey. Um... he's a DJ in his spare time. And he's got lots of it 'cause the kid never plays. 

Oh gosh, oh... are we going to have to make substitutions here? No! We're fine 'cause we've got Surman. Look at Surman, oh... oh... he's humiliating you! Oh... oh just kidding, alright that's... again though this is one of those games where a draw is a win. And also losing by two is a win. So, let's just try to focus on, you know- Oh, Amankwaa Amankwaa.

Did you know that he's allergic to grass, Meredith? And yet he's made a career in a grass oriented field. Um... Meredith how did you feel with the substitutions today? Were you unhappy? No. I mean your our assistant coach so I'm, I need you to be, uh, be okay with the decisions that I'm making. Oh, OHHH! Green Eggs and Sheringham!

"He's..." I don't remember the song. It's been so long since he scored. "He's scored with, um... a something he scored in the loo... Green Eggs and Sheringham he just scored on you!" 'Cause remember he made out with that person in the Wimbly Wombly locker room and caught a lot of flack for it? So he scored in the loo and he just scored on you. It's been a lot of years since we got to sing that song. Great moment for Green Eggs and Sheringham! 

And now the Wimbly Womblys are up four - nil on aggregate. Our annus mirabilis is continue olis's! This is exciting, this is exciting. But isn't it nice- don't you feel like it's nice just to get a sense of the younger guys, Meredith? No, she thinks that I should have started John Green and John Green. Um... oh gosh, is it going to happen again? Oh! Almost! 

Oh, Green Eggs and Sheringham trying to work his way back into regular rotation in the club. Maybe we don't need, you know, maybe we don't need to pick up a star striker this year when one of the John Green's retires to take care of their son JJ full time. Maybe what we really need is just for a Green Eggs and Sheringham resurgence. Oh, guys! You gotta, you gotta do a little bit of passing there. 

But still, we're beating Olympique Marseille. This is wonderful to see. Uh, can you imagine us going on to the finals of the Europa League for the first time in our club's storied history? Shoot the ball! You got fouled from behind! What the hell are you doing? Green Eggs and Sheringham is on the out now. That was- it was an amazing thing, the keeper was running at him. It was just- it was a sure goal and somehow he couldn't get the ball out from under his feet. I've been there, I gotta say. 

Look at this, it's just- and Surman just provides- he's one of those guys who provides just clinging, clawing defense. Oh, not fast enough. Di Filippo, I mean some people call him a poor man's Jagie-lightening strike-lightening strike-o, they play the same, uh, play the same position?

By the way among the many players who have expressed dissatisfaction, we just have such a deep squad this year because I was trying, you know, I was trying to get- oh god. OH, Amankwaa! Nope. Nope. It's 3 - 1, 4 - 1... okay. 4 - 1 on aggregate though. That's alright, that's okay, but that is an away goal or them. Um, we can't let them get 4 away goals or then they will have more than us. But I think we'll be alright. 

We just need to go score some more. Go score again. I got fouled again by Ayew who is already on a yellow card! This might be the time! Nope, apparently not. That's disappointing, I thought that might be it for Ayew. I thought he might be going home. Surman, Surman... nice pass, nice cutback, oh shoot the ball! I don't dislike that shot because I like- just pepper that goalkeeper. He doesn't seem confident. 

Um... so yeah, if we win this game we are going on to the Europa League Finals. That would put us in the F.A. Cup Final, the Europa League Final and, uh, and right now we're in 6th place looking for the top 4. But I mean, based on where we were, um, on January 1st, 2017 when I borrowed those 10 million dollars from you, the owners of AFC Wimbledon, a club- the most successful club ever to be owned by its fans.

I mean I don't think any of us- oh! That was almost fantastic Green Eggs and Sheringham. You gotta say that Bald John Green puts that back in the net 10 times out of 10. Half time, I think that it's safe to say that none of us could've anticipated a world in which we would be in the Europa League Final, the F.A. Cup Final, having already won the Capitol One Cupidie-Cup-Cup-Cup and, uh, just 4 points away from the top 4 of the Premier League. 

I mean, we thought that this season was going to be about survival. Remember? We thought that it was going to be just- I remember saying at the beginning of the year, this is going to be drudgery. Um, and it was for the first half of the year. I think that we were, like, just barely in the top ten, but that was better than we expected.

I think- we had a couple of early victories where I think we all started to dream a little bit. That's a foul. Um... and I'm gonna need you to bring it back and it's a yellow card for naughtiness. You are been naughty! That's good stuff, good stuff. These Wimbly Womblys- I just I love that even our reserves want it. You know, that like, and this is a huge game for them. Like... they've all dreamt of this opportunity. 

They all want to score goals and I think it's great. I totally support it. Lots of people would be like, oh let's uh... you know, uh... be mad at them for, for shooting so much, maybe not playing with quite as much teamwork as we'd like. But like, I think it's great, they want, uh... they want to show that they've got something for the future of the first team. 

And maybe they do. I mean I think some of these guys, especially the likes of- that's a terrible pass- uh, especially the likes of Surman and- Oh! That was nice by Girls Just Wanna Have Fundingsrud. He's still, he's still a youth, you know? He's a, he's a complicated character, Girls Just Wanna Have Fundingsrud, and we still don't know quite what to make of him. But, um, I think he's got a future. I still think he's got a future with the club.

Ohh... almost, just you know again, the speed is lacking, a lot of times it's just pure youth. Like in the case over here, I mean Surman, he's plenty fast but- and Juan Maresca is plenty fast, but both of them. They just don't have the, uh, they don't have the polish. It's interesting what you learn about yourself, um, when you get a little bit older. And a lot of what you learn is that, uh, you don't have to run as far or as fast if you run smartly. 

There's a Liverpool player, Raheem Sterling, who's currently saying he won't sign a new contract with Liverpool even for a million dollars a week, um, oh, a million pounds a week, excuse me, which is like 1.5 million dollars a week, which is like 70 million dollars a year. Um, but he's not being offered that, but that was- he was trying to make- oh!

He got... that's a pretty good ball! Ohhh... he was well covered in there. Well covered, good job Olympique Marseille. Um, it would be great not to lose this game. Yeah, yeah that's a great- Juan Maresca is pure courage! It's what I like about him. I've always liked that kid. And then look at Surman getting back, stealing the ball! Oh! Surman would be a good defensive midfielder if we ever have a need for that role.

Um, and I think in the Champions League we might have to, uh, if we get there. That's the kind of thing that we might have to do. Again, you know, there you see, there you see a little bit of the, um, the lack of skill. But I still love these guys, you know? We've got Jagie-lightening-strike-lightening-strike-o on the ball. He's not, you know, he's not a skillful player. He's been complaining to me-

Anyway Raheem Sterling, like, like he's 20 years old and he's saying he wants to go play for a bigger club than Liverpool, but like, what he really needs to do is to get better at soccer so that he can make his own decisions. Um, and it takes, you know, it takes a while. You're not at your peak when your 20, you need to, uh, yeah it's hard to be really talented and an apprentice.

That's something I talk with Surman and Maresca a lot. Like, yes, you guys are really, really good, um... but you are also just frankly not as good as John Green, John Green, Dicko and Deeney. You've got guys like Hells Pells who are just ahead of you in line, plain and simple. Um, although we are ni... We're playing nicely up that left side! I'm very, very pleased! Very pleased with the result here today.

80 minutes in, it looks almost definite at this point that we're not going, that we're moving on to the Europa League Final. The only question is if we're going to move on with a win, a tie, or a loss. And of course, as I said earlier, in this case a tie would be a win, but a win, of course, that's an even better win.

Nothing, nothing means win like winning, you know what I mean, Meredith? I mean there can be- ties can feel like winning. But you know what feels most like winning? That's right winning. Winning does. Oh, there we go! There we go! Green Eggs and Sheringham having himself a ball game! I'm proud of that guy. He sat on the bench for 2 frickin years and, uh, today he's played like someone, uh, who is just excited to be in the game, not resentful. None of that stuff. Just happy and excited!

Oh! That was a nice shot, that was a nice shot. The kid's had himself a game! Green Eggs and Sheringham might have just got himself off the transfer list. He's been transfer listed for about a year now, but I don't know. I'm interested to know what you guys think in comments. But I think he's got the, I think maybe he's finally developed some of that Wimbly Wombly DNA that we talk about, where his veins bleed blue. 

Uh oh, uh oh. That's a nice run. That's a nice run! But we've got Amankwaa Amankwaa and they don't! Hurry up Amankwaa, let's see if we can get one more attack on the game- we can't! But 1 - 1 feels like a win. 4 - 1 on aggregate, we're going to the Finals! Oh my gosh! This is incredibly exciting. A European Final for the Wimbly Womblys who just a few seasons ago weren't even playing professional football. Who have a goalkeeper who is literally allergic to the grass upon which he must fall many times a day. Thank you to our supporters, we can't wait to see you in Berlin! Or wherever the Europa League Finals are being held. Best wishes.