Good morning, Hank. It's Friday. I know I promised I wasn't gonna film Vlogbrothers videos in my fancy studio, but it's so fancy, and there's a trampoline in here, and my chair, and a globe, and I'm so happy! Today I wanna talk about banking. Specifically, I wanna deliver the quarterly report for The Bank of Nerdfighteria, a bank that spans the entire, wait for it... globe.

So, Hank, allow me to pontificate from my asymmetrical throne. We all know that finance is influenced by the political events of the day, like the promised resignation of National Embarrassment Silvio Berlusconi-- what? He's not-- that's not his job title? It's PRIME MINISTER? Real-- that doesn't seem likely.

Berlusconi's resignation has calmed the markets at all, and there is still great fear that in Europe there will be bank runs and credit crunches and just a nightmare, not only for Europe, but for the entire world. Meanwhile, at The Bank of Nerdfighteria, things have never been better.

Hank, The Bank of Nerdfighteria, like Toby Turner, has two arms. I guess also other people, it's just Toby's been on my mind a lot lately. [*whispers*] I love you, Toby. [*/whisper*]

Hank, I promise not to make a Toby joke for at least three videos.

There is the lending arm and the giving arm. Most banks have a taking arm, but we decided to dispense with that one. So, let's begin with the giving arm, also known as The Foundation to Decrease Worldsuck.

Thanks to t-shirt and game sales and your reprehensible goatee, Nerdfighters have now donated more than $4,000 to The Foundation to Decrease Worldsuck. Hank, off-topic, but I hate your goatee, and I can't believe I have to live with it for another twenty days. Hank, your goatee looks like some distant descendant of a tribble attacked your face, and frankly, as long as it is on your face, I cannot, in good faith, call you my brother, because no brother of mine would ever have such horrible facial-- d- that's not fair. Come on. OK. Alr-- you're still my brother.

Nerdfighters, Hank and I are going to match your donations for the first $10,000, which means that we have already raised more than $8,000 that will be distributed through the Project for Awesome. Giving arm is rockin' out! But the lending arm is doing even better. Across six continents (sorry, Antarctica, but you don't have any developing world entrepreneurs) Nerdfighters have loaned more than $75,000 through Kiva.org.

So, Hank, I recently loaned money to Edith in El Salvador. She has a bookstore that also sells candy (note to self: Start a bookstore that also sells candy) and she needed money in order to refurbish her bookstore and also buy new stock. I loaned her that money, she paid me back, everyone lives happily ever after; she reported back to me that her business is growing, which is awesome of her. Thank you, Edith.

I was also recently paid back by Hiyam, an accountant living in Lebanon whose name I probably just mispronounced. She renovated her office with the money I loaned her and reports that her income has since gone way up, so YAY!

In fact, Hank, I've now made more that seventy loans through Kiva.org, and I have never not been paid back, said the novelist using a double-negative.

By the way, Hank, for anybody who doesn't know, Kiva.org is a website that allows anyone to make loans to entrepreneurs in the developing world, and they almost always pay you back, so it's like charity except it's free. Uhh, there's a link in the doobly-doo if you wanna join the Nerdfighters group and contribute to the lending arm of our bank.

But anyway, you can learn a lot about Nerdfighteria by looking at the graphs of our loans. For instance, that we like food, and that we prefer to give loans to ladies, perhaps because we are, primarily, ladies. It looks like a lady Pac-Man eating the dudes. We're remarkably good about geographic distribution, but our two favorite countries start with "P": Peru and the Philippines. So, apparently we're "P"-people.

And finally, Hank, no quarterly report would be complete without talk of growth. The giving arm of The Bank of Nerdfighteria has grown infinite percent, from zero to over 8,000. Can't we just give an extra thousand bucks and so I can say "IT'S OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And the lending arm over at Kiva.org has grown by more than 234% this quarter. Not bad.

Nerdfighters, if you wanna join either arm of The Bank of Nerdfighteria, there are links in the doobly-doo to FightWorldsuck.org and our Kiva group. And, Hank, thank you for being so committed to reducing worldsuck that you're willing to endanger your marriage and sell your face. Don't forget to be awesome, I will see you on Monday!