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Uploaded:2017-03-14
Last sync:2018-11-19 12:30
...and it feels so good. In which John and Hank pause on a long walk through the desert to answer questions from nerdfighters mostly on two topics chosen by my children: pokemon and monkeyturtles. Also discussed are Hank's middle age guy mohawk, my silvery hair, whether humans define meaning in life, and how good Charizard would be at managing a Wendy's.

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John: Alright, Henry, what should be the topic of my Question Tuesday video?

Henry: Pokémon!

J: Alice, what should my Question Tuesday video be about?

Alice: Monkeyturtles!

J: Monkeyturtles? Good morning, Hank, it's Tuesday, it's Question Tuesday, the day that I answer real questions from real Nerdfighters about Pokémons and Monkeyturtles. Oh, and look, it's a reunion video, we're all here together in the desert!

Hank: I don't know what monkeyturtles are.

J: I also didn't know what a monkeyturtle was, so I asked Alice and she said, "It's a monkey that turns into a turtle."

H: Right.

J: Yeah.

H: Right. For why?

J: Oh, I asked her that, and she said "for protection". Then I asked Alice how big monkeyturtles were, and she said, "100 big".

H: It's big, actually.

J: Or not.

H: It's true.

J: It depends on if it's millimeters.

H: You need to learn units. Talking to Alice is like talking to a not-very-good AI.

J: She's like a bad chatbot.

H: Yeah, she said to me, "Uncle Hank, I got this new water bottle," and I said, "Is it better than your old water bottle?" And she said, "It's pink, the other's purple." Like, it's like, I asked you a question, and you answered a different question but you kind of were on the same topic.

J: Right. She's also like a chatbot in that a lot of times if you ask her a question, she'll say, "I don't wanna talk about that."

H: What is your favorite Pokémon and why is it Charizard?

J: It's not Charizard, it's Snorlax, because he's cute and large and powerful.

H: Mine is Andrew.

J: Andrew?

H: Yeah, have you seen Andrew Pokémon?

J: Is he a monkeyturtle?

H: No, he's just a guy, plays guitar. What Pokémon could best keep a steady job?

J: Oh, probably Andrew.

H: Put it in your head: Charizard managing like, a Wendy's, and if like, the grill breaks, he's just whoooooo on all the burgers.

J: Oh my God, he can cook the burgers. Oh wow!

H: What is the most underrated Pokémon?

J: Oh, I think the most underrated Pokémon is surfing Pikachu.

H: I'm gonna go with like, the Wiggle-puft.

J: Jigglypuff?

H: Or, uh, Spikeladder.

J: Spikeladder. That's a real one.

H: Is it?

J: You ask Henry what he wants to be when he grows up, he says, "Inventor," and then he pauses and says, "of Pokémon."

H: John.

J: Yes?

H: How can I be the very best like no one ever was?

J: Oh, come on!

H: If you had to permanently dye your hair a non-natural color, what would it be?

J: Uh, silver.

H: Ooooh, well, you're getting there already.

J: I know, I'm on my way!

H: When I was in college, I thought to myself, "I wanna have a job where when I turn 40, I can get a mohawk". And now I do.

J: Hey, welcome to Crash Course: Biochemistry. It's me, your cool teacher, Hank, with a 40 year old mohawk."

H: Doesn't all value derive from humans?

J: Mmm, no. I just wanna say for the record, Hank is not taller than I am, it's just that he is standing on a rock.

H: I was down hill.

J: Hank, what is your favorite adjective to throw in when you wanna spice up a sentence?

H: Spicy.

J: I don't like that at all. What do you think of that three-point shot, Hank?

Both: Spicy!

H: I don't wanna be... Like, my friends will all be like, "Yeah, Hank, the one who says spicy all the time."

J: Oh, yeah, Hank "Spicy" Green, they call him.

H: Shoot. Who would win in a fight between a monkeyturtle and a turtlemonkey?

J: Oh, definitely a monkeyturtle, 'cause it could turn into a turtle for protection.

H: What is your favorite type of plate?

J: Oh. For me, it's the kind that the Earth's crust is on.

H: Ooh. I mean, those are good. Sometimes you're at a really fancy restaurant and there's a plate on the table before the food comes out and then they take that plate away.

J: Yes.

H: And I'm like, "What was that?"

J: Right.

H: Why was that plate there?

J: Yeah, just in case.

H: Explain it to me!

J: It's a just-in-case plate. Would you rather have C-3PO in your house or R2-D2?

H: R2D2, because like...

J: Yeah.

H: I, like, whenever I hang out with you, I kind of feel like I do have C-3PO in my house.

J: That's true. Hank, what Pokémon do you think looks the most like you?

H: I don't know.

J: I don't know either, but I'm excited to find out from our viewers.

H: Isn't Mr. Mime, the only one that walks on two feet?

J: Um, I mean...

H: Or like, is vaguely human shaped?

J: I don't know of a greater insult than saying that someone looks like Mr. Mime. We're gonna go keep walking, so goodbye friends.

H: Bye, I'll see you now.

J: You wanna see our incredibly sophisticated tripod, by the way?

H: It's Hank's wallet and two rocks!

J: Doo-doop!