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Duration:03:57
Uploaded:2020-03-10
Last sync:2020-03-10 14:30
In which John and Hank reunite to discuss Juicy Fruit, childhood trees, and the Bronte sisters' ne'er-do-well brother.
Thanks to everyone who's come out on this minitour. http://hankandjohn.com/appearances

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J: You know that Lizzo song that goes like "Why men great 'til they gotta be great"?  I've been singing a version of that in my head but with different lyrics which goes "The world doesn't need your coronavirus hot take", anyway, good morning, Hank, it's Tuesday.  It's Question Tuesday, the day that I answer real questions from real Nerdfighters.  He's here, isn't he?

What should happen in the movie Cats 2?

H: I want two things.  I want some of the cats to be really big.  I want some of the cats to be really small.

J: I want one thing, which is for there not to be a Cats 2.  What was your first memory of me?

H: Of you?

J: Of me.

H: I don't know.  They're not chronological.  

J: When we were kids, one time we were playing football, like tackle football--

H: Yeah.

J: And remember you hit a tree and you got a concussion?

H: Sure.  

J: It was of the size where, when you hit it, it bent.

H: Yeah, it moved.

J: Significantly.

H: (?~0:49), yeah.

J: Alright, so I recently went to our childhood home.

H: Is the tree bigger?

J: It's not bigger, Hank.  It's the biggest tree in the world.  How different would boxed cake directions be on Mars?

H: It's probably like, a situation where you don't need different instructions, you need a different cake mix.  You're gonna have a lower pressure (?~1:10) so you have lower pressure, higher oxygen percentage sorta thing going on.  In that case, your cake will probably rise very fast and very big and it would be like a giant muffin.

J: Turns out I did need Hank's cake mix Mars hot takes.

H: I might be wrong.  

J: Oh, I mean, that's the whole point of a hot take, Hank, is that you don't do your research first.  Would either of you ever consider another field of creative writing like poetry?

H: I mean, I write poetry all the time for SciShow Tangents.

J: It's true.  It's a great podcast and also I write podcasts like The Anthropocene Reviewed.  Is Juicy Fruit the one with stripes or is that the yellow one?  

H: Juicy Fruit is the yellow one.  

J: What's the one with stripes called?  Remember that?  It has a zebra as its mascot.  

H: Oh yeah.  Zebra gum!  

J: Can Google do it?  Can Google do it?  

Robot lady: According to Wikipedia...

J: DANG, Google did it!  It's called Fruit Stripe!  

Robot lady: ...the strong and fleeting flavor...

J: That might be the most succinct way of describing Fruit Stripe gum I've ever heard though.  A strong but fleeting flavor.  What did you think of Hank's book A Beautifully Foolish Endeavor of which signed copies are available for pre-order now.  I just finished it.  It's so great.  Like the last book, it seems impossible to me that it was written by Hank, you know what I mean?  Like, it seems impossible that it was written by my brother who's kind of a doofus.  So pre-order Hank's book.  We're going on tour for it in July, maybe.  Hey, on NPR's Ask Me Another over the weekend, you were described as "the modern-day Bronte sisters".  How does that make you feel?

H: I think it's extremely kind.

J: Oh, yeah, it makes me feel--

H: Way over the top.

J: WAY over the top.  The truth is, either Hank or myself would be lucky to be the Bronte sisters' ne'er-do-well brother Bramwell.  Hey, Google, who was the longest lived of the Bronte siblings?

Robot Lady: Charlotte Bronte.  According to (?~2:57), Charlotte Bronte, the most famous of the Bronte sisters, died the 31st of March, 1855.  The one who lived the longest and the sister who died first were buried side-by-side in a crypt located in (?~3:09) church, but they live forever in English literary history.  

J: Not forever.  That's not how it works, Google.  The funniest part about that is that Google is technically pronouncing the last name correctly.  It was probably pronounced 'brun-tee'.  

H: Yeah, we're saying, we're all up here being like, 'bron-tay'.

J: Because that's how it's spelled, but Google's too smart for that business.  Have you seen any of the TikToks about us?  

H: About us?!

J: Yeah.

H: Oh crap.  

J: Sarah sent me one today.  I haven't seen any TikToks about us except for the one that Sarah sent me and I probably won't see any TikToks about me unless they're like, reported in the New York Times because that's where I get my TikTok news.  Hank and I have to go to our show here in Columbus, Ohio.  Tomorrow we'll be in Indianapolis, then we'll be in Ann Arbor, Michigan.  Hope to see you, lots of you, on tour.  Hank, I'll see you right now.  

H: Good job.  Great outro.