Hank: Hello, and welcome to Games with Hank. I'm Hank, and so is Katherine. Hi, Katherine, what're you doing? 

Katherine: I'm just looking at twitter.

Hank: How's twitter?

Katherine: Good. John Travolta's apparently creepy.

Hank: Kitty, do no play with all of the wires.

Katherine: (laughs)

Hank: This is a very complicated setup. Yeah, you get a toy. A regular toy, cat! Not made of electronics. Alright. The game that we're gonna be playing today on Wii Wednesdays here on Games with Hank is Super Mario 3D World. This one. (snaps)

(00:25) Hank: Hey, alright. Fancy. Math. We didn't use any math.

Hank: Plessie's Plunging Falls.

Katherine: Oh, I remember this one.

Hank: Yeah, the Plesiosaur. 

Katherine: So cute! 

Hank: It's fun. What's this little thing over here? 

Katherine: God, Plessie, I love you.

Hank: Hello? Who are you? Talk to me. Oh, just bounce off of it; that's fine too. Let me call you Jesus, little ball. 

Katherine: (laughs)

(00:53) Hank: I wanna zoom in on it, but I can't. 

Katherine: I'm not doing anything.

Hank: No no no no, we're doing nothing. Oh! I think I shook my thing and it ground-pounded.

Katherine: Oh, is that--

Hank: Oh, and if I just, if I just shake it on the ground, they just poop. I'm like "Hhrhrgggh. Hhhrrgghh."

Katherine: (laughs)

Hank: All you gotta do is this...

Katherine: This is excellent game play right now.

Hank: ...and they're like "I gotta get, uh god it's workin' on it, it's just- oh, and then you roll. You roll away from the potty and leave all the fart gas behind.

(01:22) Hank: Alright, gonna get on the Plesseosaur. 

Katherine: The Plesiosaur is just like, "What's happening?"

Hank: Don't worry, Plessie. We...Control your speed by using up and down on L or... that thing.

Katherine: Okay.

Hank: Okay, so faster's up and slower's down.

Katherine: Do we each...

Hank: I don't know. Yeah, I think maybe it's combined effort. Jump by pressing...yes, okay, normal. "When playing with friends, you'll find that you can turn faster and jump higher when everyone's working together."

Katherine: Okay, well...

Hank: Today. You ready?

Katherine: We don't even know what our goal is, but...

Hank: To not die. Stay in the bubble, Faster.

(01:57) K: Okay. Oh, we wanna get in the things.

H: Yeah, we wanna get in the things.

K: Well, I don't necessarily wanna go faster.

H: Uh, I think that..

K: Make it harder to control.

H: It's better to go faster.

K: Why?

H: We gotta jump over these things! Ooh, and they bounced off of them. I didn't expect that. Ohhh!

(02:11) K: We missed it.

H: No, we got it. 

K: We did?

H: I heard the noise and also I see it.(mumbling) I don't know. I don't know. We got a life.

K: I mean I thought the goal is to get through the rings. I don't know what's up.

H: Oh, lookit, it's cute floppin' around, it's floppin'. Boing. Oooh, dang it. 

K: DangiIIIIt.

H: Didn't know it was gonna happen. Belly flop! Oh gosh, oh gosh, don't, don, ju-

K: I wanted to go on the thingy. 

H: I was going the other way. So we went straight instead.

K: (laughs) Sorry, Plessie.

(02:54) H: Sorry for murdering you. 

K: All of us, actually. He must have a hard time getting along with other dinosaurs.

H: Yeah. 

K: Dinosaurs.

H: I know. It's hard sometimes. Ooh, too fast. Too fast. 

K: You think?

H: Yeah, you could just, yeah. Oh gosh!

K: Dang it.

H: Ah. It's alright. Go to the right, here. I'm supposed to get this ring. You jumped right over it. 

K: I didn't push that button. 

H: Oh well I certainly didn't cuz my hand wasn't anywhere near it. 

K: Well, maybe I did. 

H: Uh, huh.

K: That's me right now.

H: *laughs* This, oh god, I was gonna go... OK We gotta communicate. To the left! And try and get the one up this time. Ah geez, ah geez, ah geez! Ah geez. *laughs* Well this is worse. Whoo! He's cute though. Still very cute.

K: Yeah, you didn't really, we didn't...

H: To the middle. To the middle!

K: Literally doing nothing right now, so... 

H: That's probably the right call. I need your help Katherine. JUMP! uhh why can't I see in front of us? That's awful. And Whee! Boing!

K: Why?

H: Oh I don't know why.

K: We're going so fast.

H: Oh juice! Juice! Oh and jump! Yay we got it!

K: All of the coins...

H: But we missed a bunch of, but we got the star thing!

K: We missed all of the coins...

H: I know. This could have been much better.

K: It could have been much better.

H: I fee like we could have done a better job, than we did. Aw, come on! It's mine! It's my coin! I get nothing.

K: *laughs*

H: Poop poop poop poop poop poop poop. 

K: *laughs* alright.

H: *blows raspberry* Alright. Everybody squirrel. Oh are you serious. How did you do that? You are amazing. You jumped like a thousand feet and I think we all get the same number of points. For that except for the, except for the flag pole so you obviously won.

K: *singing end music*

H: Ah we got a Plessie stamp! Yeah, sing it Katherine!

K: Wow!

H: Wow, yep. That was the difference. You are a superstar.

K: We missed a flag. Oh no.

H: No, yeah we just did it.

K: There wasn't a flag. 

H: All of those say "L" on them.

K: Yeah. They do huh.

H: What is?

K: *laughs* 

H: I won some of them!

K: You did?!

H: Yeah! Yeah. I think so. They all say "L" on them.

K: Hm. You won one of them.

H: Yeah hm I don't know. Maybe it switches every time. 

K: Hit the blocks. Make the pictures line up.

H: You could win up to 777 coins. You get an extra life for every 100 coins you collect. Just like the rest of the game.

K: Okay. What? Huh? How?

H: We need to...so you get under it and we're going to jump on three, no were gonna jump on jump. So, one two three jump.

K: Okay.

H: One, two, three, jump. (they snicker)

K: I thought so.

H: Alright, one, two, three, jump. Alright, now we're gonna try to do that again over here. ah.

K: Aw sugar. (laughs)

H: Hey well what do ya know! We've got two hundred coins. That's not so bad. That's two ups. Two ups!

K: Tups!

H: I feel, I feel, up-ed!

K: Up! (6:49)

H: I feel Upworthy. 

K: Each of us got one up.

H: I feel worthy of my ups.

K: What's that box over there with the question mark on it?

H: Uh it was just a coin. Last time I got it. You can't jump over ditches. 

K: What is this? Is there like a hole in the hedge up there with something in it?

H: Is there a hole... got the hole in your hedge, in your hedge! Got the hole, in your hedge.

K: There was something in it.

H: It was. Yeah, good job. You're smart. Smarter than a bumblebee.

K: Look at us like we just crane our necks. 

H: "Hey, what is in this one?" One, two, three, jump! You got everything!

K: Oh I got the right one! I got the right one.

H: You are smarty.
 
K: Thanks, Toad. High-five.

H: High-five. Oh, I shot you in the face with a fireball, I'm sorry, Toad. Help! Yeah, saving. Oh look at that little Mario running at the bottom

K:  That is no longer warm. 

H: Aww, I can't jump on that.  Alright we gotta to save the fairy. Well also we could also go in this thing.  

K: Sure.

H:  I don't know what's in this thing. (07:55)You need to play this single player course you can-- No- I don't

Katherine: F that. This is a cooperative game!

Hank: We do not do that!

Katherine: We do things together!

Hank: That's right, we are a team and we get this coin. I get it.

Katherine: I can't control us in this--

Hank: I know.

Katherine: --area.

Hank: (laughs) Oh, we exploded that! That castle gate!

Katherine: We had enough stars?

Hank: Apparently we did.

Katherine: Look at me, I'm stuck down there!

Hank: Yeah, you're just useless! (laughs) It's OK, baby, I love you.

Katherine: Bowser's Highway Showdown, huh? Bowser's highway, am I gonna be in a car?

Hank: It's the turtle dragon! Bad turtle dragon.

Katherine: Are we gonna be in a car?

Hank: Nooooot yet, what's this thing? You're a kitty, punch it.

Katherine: I don't want to, it looks like it might explode!

Hank: It exploded. It exploded, yes, and I lost my fire. 

Katherine: (laughs) Did you see their faces?

Hank: Yeah.

Katherine: That was awesome!

Hank: That was good. So, don't hit that thing, is what I've learned and--

Katherine: What about this thing?

Hank: I don't know what this is. Oh, it's 

Katherine: I'll just hold you, OK?

Hank: OK Or not. Yeah! We got the star, you got the star and then I got hit by a goomba. Man, everything's exploding in this game. I need that! I need that. And I come back and YEAH KITTY!

Katherine: Get a kitty bell.

Hank: (singing) I'm a kitty, I'm a kitty-- Whoa no! Wow, that was quite a move!

Katherine: It was. I liked it.

Hank: I'm a kitty! I'm so cute I'm a cat.

Katherine: You sit there and you're like "I'm waiting."

Hank: Yeah.

Katherine: (? 9:37)

Hank: Alright. Maybe you have to stand on something? Oh, you have to use-- Wait stop, stop, I have to be on it.

Katherine: Who has to be on where?

Hank: I dunno. I feel like I have to be on here.

Katherine: (mumbling)

Hank: There's a star. You do all of the work and I get the star and it's cuz I'm going to win. Oh wow, you can get a lot of coins though. You bumped that. (struggling noises) yeah I didn't-- (Katherine laughs) I did make it, yes. Alright.

Katherine: So high.

Hank: oh geez, oh geez. Oh, I got whooped!

Katherine: Got whomped!

Hank: Got whomped, there it was. Oh god the Goombas attacked me! They're running after me oh my gooooo-- no. Uh, what just--

Katherine: You got whoomped.

Hank: I could-- I can't see what's going on down there.

Katherine: I'm sorry, I'm not helping.

Hank: It's OK, I guess I had to jump a little bit. I didn't realize I had to jump a little bit. Am I in the-- where am I?

Katherine: Oh, no no no. I'm wasting all of this time trying to get these things.

Hank: Yes, time.

Katherine: eugh. Useless. OK, frick that.

Hank: Kitty for me.

Katherine: Let's just go. I've wasted-- now I need the time. and OH NO NO.

Hank: Wow, you hit it.

Katherine: huh?

Hank: yeah, you punched it.

Katherine: OK (quavering noises)

Hank: Oh, careful! They'll land on your head.

Katherine: They did. They did land on my head. (she takes the crown)

Hank: Agh. I gotta say I want that. Whoa! I just knocked you like a butterfly.

Katherine: You did that?

Hank: Yeah.

Katherine: I got no-- I got no power here. Oh no! I got no power over me. Did I just die? Yes, I did. I did die. Do I come back?

Hank: Aaaaaa, I almost died, too.

Katherine: Yeah, I wanna come back. I wanna come back.

Hank: Oh, I-- I got him hit by a thing. OK, you're going to move. Yes. ooh!

Katherine: (panicking) Put me down! I don't want to be here!

Hank: How do we-- What do we do? What do we do to have this un-happen?

Katherine: I don't know.

Hank: Oh, you-- I can hit them before-- that one's too hot. 

Katherine: Can you kick them? You kick them at the thing? You have to kick it the other way, though.

Hank: I kicked it the wrong way though. Not that one there, this one. 

Katherine: OK, yes, there you go. Good job!

Hank: There it is. Alrighty-pants.

Katherine: aww phe-- (panic) Now we're both little and we gotta go fight a guy.

Hank: Oh no, we're both little and we gotta go fight a guy.

Katherine: OK, but we have a thing.

Hank: Yeah we can use the thing. Is it time to fight yet?

Katherine: I don't know but we might as well get the thing though.

Hank: I guess you're right. I guess you're right. I'm gonna do it too. uh-- I better not NOT get that!

Katherine: Oh, sugar.

Hank: Man, I'm-- gonna make me super mad!

Katherine: Oh, sugar! 

Hank: That's gonna make me super mad if I am not a cat right now, I will be up-set! (Bowser roars) Alright, Bowser, I get it, you're a turtle-dragon. I'M NOT A CAT. Dang and blast. What's the--

Katherine: You have to kick those things at it

Hank: Yes. I got it.

Katherine: Good job. How do you kick?

Hank: You are slower than I thought. you just run into it.

Katherine: Oh Sorry

Hank: Well that-- You just picked me up and then--

Katherine: Well that-- I didn't mean to, I was running at the thing!

Hank: Nice.

Katherine: I just run into it?

Hank: Yeah, you just run into it. I hit him! I got him! I got him once and now he's gonna get harder to kill.

Katherine: OK now what? Now what?

Hank: I don't know, just stay on the screen.

Katherine: OK

Hank: (flabbergasted) Why are you throwing these things at me when clearly I am kicking them back at you and it is hurting you a lot.

Katherine: pfft. I dodged.

Hank: Jumped right over it. Fire pit.

Katherine: I dodged cuz you know. It seemed like the thing to do.

Hank: Yeah, take that Bowser you turtle-dragon of doom! (Bowser roars) Alright, yes, you are really angry and scary and I agree. I would rather not-- really I would rather not. Oh geez! I almost jumped right off the edge! (running out of time musical cue) Stop telling me I don't have a lot of time, that makes it way more stressful. What are you doing? Where are you going, Bowser!? Oh come on, I have 84 seconds!

Katherine: Yeah, this is bad. Oh shoot!

Hank: That's not a thing.

Katherine: Come on, throw the thing.

Hank: Throw the thing!

Katherine: Dang it.

Hank: Take it! Take it to the limit, one more time, Bowser! Come one! Where are you going!? Stop it. Stop going.

Katherine: I ran into that.

Hank: I can't run into anything cuz I don't have-- uh, there's a kitty bell on that one! I would like that!

Katherine: Got it. I'm sorry. Oh god, I ran into the thing again.

Hank: 42 seconds. Take it! Yeeeees! Bowsed! BOWSED! Sorry, I almost hit my wife. Do not beat your wife, even in excitement and happiness. You OK?

Katherine: Yeah.

Hank: You're co-- your hands are cold. Yeah, we-- yeah, exploded! You're on a little rocket ship of low-- loser!

Katherine: Yeah, loser ship.

Hank: Oh, god. We only have 35 seconds. Where do we have to go now? We have to get to a flag in 35 se-- I don't know what happens if we do-- oh good.

Katherine: We almost missed it.

Hank: Oh, good. Everything is better. Oh, there's a little fairy. You smell funny. 

Katherine: What?

Hank: Something smells funny, I dunno, maybe it's you. (laughs)

Katherine: That's an interesting observation to make.

Hank: (stammering) Uhm, another pro-tip about marriage. Don't tell your wife she smells funny.

Katherine: I mean, you were there.

Hank: How did you do that?

Katherine: (laughs) I just jump right!

Hank: Yeah, so I just jump wrong, I guess. What? My cat's ear is turned inside-out. It's cute.

Katherine: It's adorable.

Hank: Katherine's having a hard time. Alright, let's see who won! Let's see who wooooo-- I lost.

Katherine: (laughs) I mean, it's just cuz I got 10,000 at the end.

Hank: Yeah, cuz I can't jump onto flagpoles the way that you can, Harvey Danger.

Katherine: There's something gross in this.

Hank: You're not going to recognize my amazing reference.

Katherine: I don't know what that means.

Hank: You can't-- "cuz I can't jump on flagpoles like you can, Harvey Danger."

Katherine: Are you saying I'm a better flagpole sitter than you?

(song) I'm not sick, but I'm not well.
Hank: Yes! Yes. (laughs)

Katherine: Oh. Gotcha. (laughs) 90's references! (high five) 

Hank: Alright. Thank you for watching this episode of Games with Hank. I have been Hank and so has Katherine. The game has been Super Mario 3D world. We'll be back next week on Wii Wednesday. DFTBA.
You're adorable.