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In which John continues to answer Google's most-asked questions starting with, "Who would win in a fight between..." The Wimbly Womblys play the MK Dons.

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Twitter: @AFCWimblyWombly


Hello, and welcome to HankGames Without Hank. Look who we're playing. (Singing) Who were you? Who were you? Who were you when you were us? Who were you when you were us? (talking) I can't believe we let some of their so-called supporters even come to the stadium. Look who has come to Wimbly Lane. It's the MK hmmrmrm.

(0:22) Aww man, real quick recap, um, in 2000... uh in the early 2000's uh, the team that had been for a century Wimbledon F.C. was moved against the supporters' will to... Look at the ginger on ginger, ginger on ginger violence. This is- that's when you know it really matters. We're in second so we need to win this game. If you wanna know why we lost the FA cup, I think there's no question the boys were looking ahead to this game. I mean, this is huge, huge for them, huge for us. Um.

(0:59) But yeah, so, Wimbledon was taken away from its supporters and its home and moved to Milton Keynes. That club, the franchise, yeah- it could move anywhere. In its wake, the people who loved Wimbledon, and who really cared about football for football's sake, created AFC Wimbledon. The club that you see today, in league one, was brought into the football league in a penalty shoot out against Luton Town. Seb Brown, he's starting today, saved two goals in that game, saved two penalties in that game. Put us into the football league, and look at where we are now! They said it wasn't in the wider interests of football for there to be a league club in Wimbledon. Well, we proved them wrong, didn't we?

(1:50) This is a special day for us, um. I'm not gonna deny its specialness. Obviously I think the boys were a little distracted, um, in their game against QPR, because God-willing, this will be the last time that we ever play these guys, because next season, God-willing, we're gonna be in the championship! So imagine that. Imagine that. Imagine that this might be the last time we play them, because we're just going to be on a different level than they are, moving forward. So yeah. They have a fancy stadium and a rich owner, but we're owned by ourselves.

(2:26) (sings) Stand up if you own your club, stand up if you own your club, sit down if you stole a club, stand up if you own your club. (talks) Oh, I love AFC Wimbledon so much! I love who we are as a team, and I love Bald John Green and Other John Green. I love Ya Bamba. I love the fact that we're owned by our fans. I love the fact that the Wimbly Womblys sponsor the actual real life AFC Wimbledon who actually in real life came up from the ashes of Wimbledon FC when their team was stolen away from them, and said we're still gonna have football in Wimbledon, and then built a club up through the non-leagues into the league. And that now play in league two on FIFA - they're gonna be in FIFA 15 because they stayed up this year. It's just one of the greatest stories in the history of sports. I'm so proud of these boys, both the pixelated versions and the real versions! This is beautiful.

(3:20) Meredith, what are we talking about today? Twenty minutes into the game, I haven't even announced today's topic because I love- I love our boys so much! Oh, that's a great pass to K Sainte-Luce. The patron saint of lost crosses, the patron saint of lost- no! I went too far down the line, Meredith. I was so excited! A lot of running room.

(3:38) What are we talking about today? Meredith's looking at me like she's scared. Yeah. Oh, AFC Wimbledon and- who would win in a fight between- we're doing "Who would win in a fight between...?" We're continuing that. And of course, let's do the first one, Meredith. The obvious one. Who would win in a fight between AFC Wimbledon and the team that was AFC Wimbledon until a rich, a rich guy and the football association of England stole away their team? I know who would win that fight! WE WOULD WIN IT. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry, that was a little too much. I got really- I'm really- this is something I'm very passionate about.

(4:10) This is the game- I mean, you know, let's face it... This is the game we wanna win more than all the other games.

 First question

(4:16) Um, alright Meredith, what's my first one? Ninjas and pirates? Well, I'll tell you something. There's some pirates here, and there are some ninjas here. Uh, the ninjas, the heroic um. Pirates - thieves. Ninjas - not thieves. Sooo... Who do you think is gonna win? I think it's gonna be the people who didn't steal a football club! Go! Ohhh. Ohhhh. Actually, I- yeah, I'm pro- I'm pro-ninja but I'm open-minded. I mean, you know, I can listen to counter-arguments. I don't like to be super close-minded about this stuff or act like I'm the authority, I'm the decider on the internet. Um, but yeah, let's face it, probably ninjas.

 Second question

(4:56) Um, yeah. What's next? Who would win in a fight between Obama and Putin? (inhales sharply) Well, I mean, first off, like political effectiveness is not about ability to fight. Like, have a fist fight. But yeah, I mean, if this- oh, God. Seb! Ohhhh.

(5:15) Meredith, do you- have I ever shown you the clip of Seb Brown saving those two penalties in that shootout to send AFC Wimbledon into the football league, that resulted in them being in FIFA in the first place? Like, without Seb Brown's saves in that game, we literally would not be playing this game right now. It wouldn't exist. He changed the course of human history, with those two penalty saves!

(5:39) Then, he went on to save two penalties against Manchester City to win us- oh, God. Seb! To win us the FA cup. Um, I'm so nervous, I can barely talk. Uh, this game just matters so much! Can you hear- I mean, I'm sure you can hear them singing in the stands. Singing (sings) AFC Wimbledon (talks) and singing about how we are Wimbledon, we are the Wombys, we are the Wimbly Womblys. Oh, I'm so nervous.

(6:08) So um, what's the next one? What was the question? Oh, Putin would win in a fist fight, but Obama is the better and also more effective political leader. Erm, it's so weird to me when people- you see in the American news people like, worshipping Putin, like, "Putin's so effective!" And I'm like, er, I don't really want a leader like Putin personally. Pretty happy we have a non-Putin type of leader these days.

 Third question

(6:31) Alright, what's next? Peter Griffin and Homer Simpson. Er, Family Guy versus The Simpsons. Listen, I have a lot of respect- yeah, I mean, no, Homer Simpson. I mean, Homer Simpson's one of the greatest characters- he wouldn't win the actual- he wins the fight though. He's one of the greatest characters uh, in the history of television. Um, also there would be no Peter Griffin if there were no Homer Simpson, so.

(6:54) Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! Oh, God, you think it matters to John Green? He just took a guy out by the ankles! It was beautiful! Oh yeah, this is just- I mean- it's not a dirty match, certainly. We don't wanna play dirty, but we wanna play very aggressively. That was a nice unnecessary slide tackle. Um, and we wanna win. God, it's important to win this game. I mean, this matters more to me than anything else we're gonna do this season, to be honest with you. It just matters to me so, so much.

(7:19) Ha ha! You kicked it out of bounds. Who do you think you are? Me in my last game? Alright, let's do it. Come on. Come on. That's a nice pass. That's a nice pass! There you go, to John Green. Outlet! To (sings) Ya Ya Ya- (talks) oh, it's B- it's C Arthur actually. I always call him B Arthur. That's not his name!

(7:41) Alright, we're gonna make some substitutions here, in about the sixtieth minute. Um, but we're not gonna do it quite yet. We just went attacking. We're gonna- we wanna win this game, we're not playing for a nil nil draw, although it would do us a heck of a lot more good than it would do them. Oh! Other John Green somehow muscled off the ball. That's not realistic. There must be something wrong with FIFA's physics engine, because that would never happen!

(8:03) Come on, guys. Come on! Get back, get back, get back, get back! Get back! Yes! No! You're gonna pull that back, forty five minutes after it happened, ref?! Come on! We were- it was- I aged a year between that foul and when you played the advantage and when you called it back.

(8:20) Alright, we're not- I'm not quite mentally ready to bring on- I think we should bring on Francombstein. That's the first thing we should do, because I want to be able- Francombstein's a goal-scorer, but I also wanna be able to kind of maraud up those- uh, up the flanks, if you catch my meaning.

(8:37) So right now we're just gonna bring in Francombstein. Obviously John Green and John Green are tired, but they're also John Green and John Green. Um, they are our best players. They are our- they are, you know, if I pull them out of the game right now, I don't think I would ever hear the end of it. Like, this matters to them more than any game they're gonna play, you know, this season, probably. Particularly since we're out of the FA cup.

(9:00) Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh- um, did you notice that I- I get much more panicked than I did when I was the manager of the Swoodilypoopers, Meredith? It's because- I know this is weird to say, but it matters more to me. Ohhh! Oh. It just matters more. I want it more! I want it so bad. Ohhh! Get to the ball! I want it so badly for the boys. I just- and I want it for our supporters! And I want it for the supporters of the real life AFC Wimbledon. I just wanna be successful.

 Fourth question

(9:31) What's the next one? Who would win in a fight between RoboCop and Terminator? Terminator. There's no question. For one thing, Terminator- if he didn't win the fight, he could just, you know, go back into the future and then back into the past again or whatever. When you can time travel, you've got a massive advantage!


(9:48) Pass! Good- nooo! Ohhh. You gotta give credit to the franchise- they're really doing their best to try to uh, to try to beat us here. But. We have something that they can't buy. It's called heart! Um, and so we may not have the skill that they have, we may not have the speed that they have, we certainly don't have the fancy stadium or the resources, but we have something that you can't buy! Which is the actual support of an actual community of football fans.

(10:16) Seb Brown, great save! Let's go get it. Let's go get it. Seventy sixth minute, let's go find a way. That's fine. Just keep passing. (sings) Just keep passing, just keep passing. (talks) That's nice! Ohhh! Couldn't- yes! Great job! Just playing with courage right now. Pure American- actually, in this case English- courage. Come on! Yes! Pass. Yes! Yes! Bald John Green! To his husband! Oh, they love each other but they can't connect properly! They've been having this trouble all season. It's been a difficult season for the John Greens. They're both scoring their fair share of goals, but they're not assisting each other as we'd like.

(10:59) What a fantastic move from Less More! Oh, Less More! Keep going boys, don't give up! Don't give up! We can do this! Sorry Meredith, I've lost track. I can't remember what today's video is about but I'm just gonna keep trying, like Terminator would. That's a fantastic tackle! To your husband! Ohh. Oh, my God. We're gonna try- we're gonna leave it all on the floor, so if we get the nil nil draw, you won't say "oh that was a boring nil nil draw where nobody cared". I want you to know we do care! Oh! Bald John Green, he got off a shot but it wasn't good enough! Ahhh!

(11:41) Oh, that's a foul in the box! How was that not a foul?! In what world is that not a foul?! Come on! Oh no! We've been robbed! We've been robbed! I mean- it should have been a penalty! Oh. But you know what, as the guys are pointing out, a point matters to us a lot more than it matters to them. You're not going up! You're staying in league one. We're going up. That's the last time we play you. Enjoy it!

(12:11) Uh, I hope you enjoyed seeing what it's like to play a real football club owned by its fans, that's supported by its community, that's made out of its community, instead of a franchise that moved to your town for money.

Thanks for watching. Best wishes.