GOOD MORNING, HANK, IT'S MONDAY!

GOOD MORNING, HANK, IT'S MONDAY! GOOD MORNING, HANK, IT'S MONDAY! Good Morning, Hank, it's Monday.

You just got said hello to by hundreds of Nerdfighters. But, Hank, that was yesterday and today's video isn't about yesterday, it's about today. So, what happened today?

I got up, I brushed my teeth, I took a shower, I changed clothes. I can't show you that, because I worry that the blinding beauty of my naked body my result in Nerdfighters getting retinal damage. But trust me, it was awesome.

Then I went downstairs and I met up with David. Say hi, David. Hi, David!

And then we went to the airport. At the airport, everybody got in a line to find out if we had metal in our pockets, and I tried to videotape that line of people waiting to find out if they had metal in their pockets, but then the government got mad at me for trying to videotape that, because apparently, it's illegal. Once I found out that I didn't have any metal in my pockets, I went and got a sandwich, which was not as delicious as its prize indicated it would be.

Then, I had to sit against the grey-speckled wall of the airport in order to plug in my computer, and I tried to go to my quiet place, but then I remembered that I had to tell you something. Oh, so, hey, my Dutch publisher Lemniscaat- they're going to be re-releasing Looking for Alaska, or as it known in Dutch, Het Grote Misschien. And they have an awesome idea, which is that they want YOU to design cover ideas for Looking for Alaska.

And then if they like your idea enough, YOU cover could be in The Netherlands. And now, back to your regularly scheduled voice-over. So, we got onto the airplane.

I like airplanes, except when they go into the sky, then they scare the crap out of me. The airplane took us to a different airport, although you couldn't tell it was different from the wall color. Then we drove into San Francisco, and then, we checked into our hotel.

The angel lady at our hotel, by the way, has hair in exactly the right place. And then I got into my hotel room and took out my phone and looked at pictures of Henry, because he is a cute little bugger and I miss him like crazy cakes. And then it was now.

It's actually still now. It never stops being now. I miss Sarah and Henry and I'm tired and I miss having time to write.

But, in a couple of hours I get to meet hundreds of people who've read the book that David and I wrote together and that makes me feel like the luckiest guy in the world. So, Hank, I just want to say thanks to the Nerdfighters for making my day possible, for making this tour such a blast- oh, and Hank! You may remember that the Nerdfighters with the HP Alliance raised so much money to Help Haiti Heal that we filled four planes with medicine and water that's desperately needed.

Well, Hank, the fourth and final plane leaves for Haiti on Thursday. And you know what Partners in Health is calling it? The SS DFTBA.

How awesome is that? Hank, I'll see you on Wednesday. I'm trying to figure out if there is in fact a tune to Summer of Gang [Game?].

I kind of would love to actually sing one of these songs, or be able to, but I just don't know that I have the Tiny Cooper in me. Oh, you have the Tiny Cooper in you. Oh, well.

I mean, yeah, but you know. I like that I rhymed vagina with finer.