Good morning, Hank! It's Tuesday. It's question Tuesday, the day that I answer real questions from real Nerdfighters!

[Intro]

Q: Are you really coming to Melbourne, Australia?
A: Yes, there will be an awesome Nerdfighter gathering beginning at 2 PM in Melbourne on May 31st to promote this: The Australian edition of my new book, "Paper Towns." If you want to come, and I sincerely hope you do, you can book your spot and find out more information in the sidebar.

Q: What is a Nerdfighter?
A: Hank, sometimes it's like people haven't devoted the 24 hours necessary to watch all 465 of our videos. Nerdfighters are just like regular people, except instead of being made out of bones and tissues and organs and et cetera, they're made out of awesome.

Q: Is there some kind of initiation process for joining Nerdfighters?
A: Oh, just a small one: You have to ride a puppy-sized elephant around the circumference of Winner, South Dakota while holding "An Abundance of Katherines" in your pants on your head. All of those jokes and more will make sense if you just watch all of our videos. But seriously, if you wanna be a Nerdfighter, you are one.

Q: So is this just, like, communication between two guys and then people were interested so they subscribed?
A: It is, in fact, just like that, yes.

Q: What does DFTBA mean?
A: Dinosaurs Failed To Beat Asteroid.

Q: Who was your worst girlfriend?
A: Probably the one who kissed like a lion. The first time we kissed I was all like ... and she was like [*RAWR*] and then I was like "Ow, my face. You ate-ed it."

Q: What is the meaning of life?
A: Mostly listening, some jokes.

Q: Why do the brilliant always die young?
A: Actually, the brilliant die at all ages. Einstein was 76, but we romanticize the young ones.

Q: What's your favorite poem?
A: All my favorite poems are too long to recite in a Question Tuesday video, except for the last poem John Keats ever wrote which was also his Last Will and Testament: One line of perfect iambic pentameter:

"My chest of books divide amongst my friends."

Q: Why do guys get obsessed to the point of creepy-stalkerism?
A: Well, they get really fixated on the idea that your affection is what stands between them and happiness. But the thing is that no single person ever stands between you and happiness, and fixation is not the same thing as love.

Q: Is your Puff an homage to Edward Cullen?
A: No, you don't choose the Puff. The Puff chooses you.

Q: Is your Puff up-to-date on its shots?
A: Ha, ha, ha. Is your joke up-to-date on its... funniness? ... Moooommm, they made a hair joke that hurt my feelings!

Q: How do I get Maureen Johnson to like me?
A: Well, you can either buy her new book, "Sweet Scarlet", which is brilliant, and comes out in paperback in a few short days, or you can become a puppy.

Willy Green, consistently baffled by the puppy in the mirror.

Q: Wait, your book "Paper Towns" is being turned into a movie?
A: Yeah, maybe. The people who made "Juno" optioned the rights to it with me writing the screenplay, so, I'm working on that, now.

Q: How many of your exes are named Katherine?
A: Zero.

Q: Is Hank gonna make a 2nd CD?
A: I hope so, but in the meantime, why don't you buy his first CD? Link in the sidebar! In fact, if you buy it in the next week, I will email you a special secret bonus video.

Q: Why do you talk so fast?
A: Too many words, too little time.

Q: What does it take for me to get my question on Question Tuesday?
A: Perseverance! And brevity!

Q: What language do Peeps speak?
A: PEEP!

Q: Is it possible to die of Peep Poisoning?
A: According to my physician, yes.

Q: What if the Peeps rise up and revolt as a result of the Peep genocide caused by Nerdfighters?
A: That is, in fact, exactly how my doctor told me that Peeps could kill me.

Q: Are you wearing pants?
A: Wudda ya mean, "Am I wearing pants?" Of course I'm wearing pants. ... Do jammie pants count?

Q: What happened to your superpower nerd-glasses?
A: Umm, it's kind of a long story, but it ends with me falling face-first into the Baltic Sea and breaking them.

Q: If the internet exploded, what other projects would you like to work on?
A: Well, the first project I would work on would be called "Fixing the Internet."

Q: Hold on: Who the eff is Hank?
A: Hank is a breed of dog known for its distinctive white coat. Hank was originally bred to dig out foxholes, but these days, Hank is known primarily for being adorable, licky, and for urinating in inappropriate places.

Q: Did I just see a Westie?
A: No, you just saw a Hank.

Q: Why don't you blink?
A: Well, if you've been watching Brotherhood 2.0 from the beginning, you know that in March of 2007 I had to go to the hospital for an eye infection. As a result of that infection, they installed robot eyes.

Q: Do you still need more questions?
A: Yes, please leave them in comments.

Hank, I'll see you, singing, tomorrow.