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In which John answers real questions from real nerdfighters in a Question Tuesday on a Friday. The Wimbly Womblys play Plymouth Argyle.

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Twitter: @AFCWimblyWombly
Hello and welcome to Hankgames without Hank. My name is John Green, I'm the manager of the AFC Wimbledon Wimbly Womblys who are currently atop Bury and Plymouth Argyle at the very top of the league. Speaking of Plymouth Argyle... Woah! Suddenly it's raining in England. That's a stunner. Speaking of Plymouth Argyle, they are our opponents for the day. We've got John Green and John Green up front, we've got Francombstein out on the right side of midfield and then over on the left side of midfield playing left wing today, Ya Ya Ya Ya Ya Bamba. We've got Seb Brown in the goal.

And today we're gonna do a Question Tuesday where I answer your questions asked of the AFC Wimbledon official Twitter page at What is it? AFC Wimbly Wombly? AFC Wimbly Wombly-s. Is it with an s? No s. No s. No s. It's in the description. Alright. Ask me a question Meredith.

I'll tell you what I do like: Goaaalls!

"John Greens, John Greens,
Bald and Other John Green,
They're the best forwards that Swindon Town has ever se..."

Ahh! That's five bucks. That's five bucks that I have to send to AFC Wimbledon. Dang it! First off, it was not a pass from John Green to John Green, it was a pass from someone else to John Green. Secondly, I said Swindon instead of Wimbledon. However, up until then that was the greatest goal call of my entire life because I said "You know what I do like?" and then I actually for once scored a goal.

Do I like whom? Michael McDonald? And who, who is that? The singer? And what does he sing? Has he ever played for, has he ever played with The Mountain Goats? Um, I don't know that I'm familiar with his work. He's old? Well then you would think that I would know who he is.

Oh, Bald John Green! That's a great opportunity for you, sir.

Um, no I don't. To be honest with you, I don't totally know who Michael McDonald is. Um, moving on!

Would I rather swim with sharks or ride an emu? I mean, in a perfect world I would just stay in my house and play FIFA. But I guess I would rather ride an emu just because at least it only indulges one of my fears, emus, instead of more than one, water and sharks. Um, yeah. So I'm gonna go with riding an emu but to be clear I do not wish to ride an emu. Um, what is my next question?

My favorite history class? Um, I took a class in, like, it was AP Western European History, you know, like super... The kind of class that you would never take any more, like this class wouldn't even exist.

Buckminster Fuller. Buckminster Fuller. Buckminster Fuller! Terrible cross. Ya Ya Ya... Dang it! I was so excited to sing Ya Bamba. I can't believe it took me so long to come up with Ya Ya Ya Ya Ya Bamba just scored a goal. Um, anyway.

Uh, yeah. I guess, like, my AP European class and then... But you know, what I loved about studying history in high school, like, I took a class in History of the Beats, I remember as a senior in high school.

Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh! Seb Brown.

"Seb Brown, Seb Brown,
He saved two penalties against Luton Town.
Seb Brown, Seb Brown,
He sent us into the League."

The only reason we're playing this game right now is because Seb Brown saved two penalties against Luton Town in 2011 in a penalty shoot-out to send AFC Wimbledon into the Football League, League 2, the fourth tier of English soccer. Fourth tier, they call it League 2 because they're English.

Um, yeah. I mean I guess that was probably my favorite history class, History of the Beats or my AP Euro class. But what I loved about studying history was more, like, just, like, the idea of getting to live inside someone else's skin for a while and trying to, like, imagine what it would be like to be someone other than myself which is also what I like about literature and most of my other, like, liberal artsy classes. Alright, what's my next question?

Ender's Game? Yeah, I mean, like, I just read it. I didn't read it as a kid so I think I probably would have liked it more as a kid. I didn't love it to be honest with you. Um, I, you know, I just, I feel like this whole world view that, like, great, speaking of history, the whole idea that, like, great individuals are the key to history and that we, like, need great military men to lead us into the promised land to save us from ourselves and the aliens who would destroy us, I just don't buy it. Like, I just don't think that, like, I don't think history is really a story driven by individuals and I don't, I just... Yeah. So like it's one of those books where, you know, it depends on its ideas, right? I mean Ender's Game is in many ways, I think, dependant on the ideas in Ender's Game...

Oh Sweeney! Dang it! Could have been but it wasn't. Sweeney Podd. Dang it. It's disappointing. It wasn't even a corner kick. It's doubly disappointing. I was really hoping to score two goals by half time so I could rest Bald John Green and Other John Green in the second half. Oh. Plus the ball is kind of hard to see. I don't want to criticize but don't you think the ball is kind of hard to see?

Yeah, so I didn't like Ender's Game because I didn't buy, I didn't buy its ideas and I think a book like that is so dependent on its ideas that you've really got to buy them.

Oh, that's not a good, not a good finish Bald John Green. He had an opportunity, he had an opportunity to score a second goal and he just disappointed me tremendously. He, I found him as disappointing as I find that guy's haircut. Kennedy's. Kennedy's mohawk, his mohawk that goes, it's like incredibly wide mohawk. It's like three fourths of his head but... Anyway. Could have done a little bit better but that was a great finish from Other John Green, really a beauty.

Um, alright. What's my next question, Meredith?

Which literary character would I want to be for a day? Um, I mean, I guess I'd want to be Huck Finn probably. I love Huck Finn, I think he's amazing. Yeah. I'm gonna go with Huck Finn. I'm just such a big, I'm such a big... In general I'm a huge, huge fan of those books. Huck Finn, Tom Sawyer, all of Mark Twain's adventure books but especially Huck Finn. Um, but then maybe I'd want, maybe I'd want to be Gatsby. I don't know? Live a life very d... You know what, no I wouldn't. I'd want to be a woman. I'd want to be... huh? Eloise? Meredith thinks she'd be Eloise. I think maybe, like, maybe I'd wanna be, like, Sula in Toni Morrison's Sula so I could have a life different from my own. Like, it would be nice... If you could only be someone else for a day, like, you want to pick someone who's gonna, like, for the rest of your life is really gonna expand your world view, you know, is gonna, like, make you think differently about the world around you and stuff. So, I, you know, maybe something, maybe... that's too hard of a question for a Question Tuesday. It's too good of a question. I don't know.

Don't tell me that I tackled him out of bounds because there's... Thank you. There was no harm in that. It was just a couple of men who love each other giving each other some hugs. Oooooooh! Mr. Smith goes to Washington! He also has that terrible haircut. I mean, look at this. Can we see a replay of the goal please so I can just see his terrible haircut? Um, I like that call, Mr. Smith goes to Washington. No? Is that just me? Maybe that's... That's for the 75 year old fans of the Wimbly Womblys, I know you guys are out there.  I know you guys supporting your club.

Um, yeah. What's my next question?

Oh, if I'm afraid of flights how do I fly on an airplane? Well, I mean what I'm a... Well, I... First off, I am afraid of flying on airplanes. But what I'm most, like, my fear of heights is not really engaged by airplanes because it's a completely different thing. Like, it's a... Airplanes have a floor, so, and a ceiling. It's mostly, like what really engages my fear of heights is when I feel like I might fall. Like it's a physical feeling of vertigo. So I never feel that physical feeling of vertigo in an airplane because I feel like this is, this is just the environment in which I find myself that happens to be sort of, like, in a stable, like, stable place 30,000 feet in the air. Where as if I go, like, up to the top of the Vulcan statue in Birmingham or I go... Birmingham, Alabama not Birmingham, England. Or if I go to, if I go, if I'm outside on a rocky cliff or something or on the edge of, uh, on the edge of a mountain or something. That's when I really freak out. So yeah. It's not, it's not much fun. I wish that this wasn't one of my things but whatever. You can't control it or, I mean, maybe you can, but I don't, I don't have the energy in dealing with all of my other fears to really get so proactive about my fear of heights.

Oh, that's a great ball. It's a great ball to Mr. Smith! And he goes to Washington again! Oh, he's having the game of his life and he does the robot! See that terrible haircut Meredith? It looks like there's some kind of, like, raccoon, like a raccoon tail that goes across his entire head. I feel that the makers of FIFA have been unfair to the men and women of the actual AFC Wimbledon and they have made them needlessly bad in the haircut department when the real life Mr. Kennedy... Oh, that isn't Kennedy, that's Smith. Anyway, I don't know the real life Smith. But I mean in real life he's a Time Lord. So yeah. This is just, it's a great game for Mr. Smith. Oh, and here comes S'Moore. Here comes Some Moore. He's gonna pass the ball! Oho! He wanted it! Oh, you could tell that Mr. Smith is hungry for the hat-trick.

What's my next question Meredith?

Least favorite kid's show? Well that's a race to the bottom. Um, I mean there's a lot of kids shows that I don't like at all. There's hardly any that I do enjoy. Um, least favorite kid's show? I'm not crazy about any Barney related topics. I just, I find Barney to be really grating for the adult, like, world view. It just, there's nothing there for me whereas, like, shows like Octonauts and Phineas and Ferb, like they're trying to help me out, you know. They're saying, like, "We understand that you're watching this with your kid and we want to make it easier for you." With Barney it's just, like, "Suffer, fool!" So yeah. I'm gonna say Barney.

Come on! Get that ball. Yes, good job. Pass! That's not a good pass, sir. That's not how you get to a hat-trick Mr. Smith. OK. Alright. Pass the ball. Good pass. Pass the ball. Oh my God, are we Barcelona or are we Wimbly Womblys? Because right now we look like Barça. Oh all the way back. Just dominating possession.

Meredith, what's my next question?

Who would survive the Hunger Games, Other John Green or Bald John Green? They would pull a Peeta and a Katniss! Are you kidding me!? They'd both find a way out of there. Um, 100% of the time, ten times out of ten, Peeta and Katniss or Bald John Green and Other John Green both survive the Hunger Games, no doubt in my mind. It's the only way, they both come out, they both come out or neither of them come out. You don't know these guys after being with them for so many years? Like, they, they are wondrously, unprecedentedly loyal individuals. I mean, just, there's no give up in either of them and there's also no, there's also no, you know, they're wiling to sacrifice everything for each other which...

Oh come on. By the way, no update on the kid situation but it's one of those things where when it suddenly gets quiet you start to think maybe, maybe. I'm referring to Bald John Green and Other John Green mentioning to me that they were thinking about having a baby which would be so cute! And plus, it would ensure the future of AFC Wimbledon, um, because you know that kid is gonna be amazing at soccer.

Alright, what's my next question?

Where and how do I prefer to write? Um, I mean, I'm pretty open minded but these days I write mostly in coffee shops and I write mostly in the morning. Um, that's just a function of my schedule, like when my schedule was, when I had a day job that I worked all day, I worked mostly in the evening.


"We'd like S'Moore
We'd like S'Moore,
We liked your goal
And we'd like S'Moore."

What a beautiful finish and then, did you see what he did Meredith? Did you see that beautiful dead fish thing that he did? That's one of my favorite celebrations. He just got... He was just like "I am a fish who is suddenly deceased!" Let's see if we can see it. Oh, they didn't show it to us. Anyway you can go back and watch it again 'cause it's on the internet. It was beautiful.

And it was the last kick of the game! Oh! A massive win for the Swoodilypoopers against Plymouth Argyle which until recently was the second team in the League. Look at that. John Green, Mr. Smith went to Washington and then unsatisfied with his result in his first term, he went to Washington again. And then in the 90th minute we got S'Moore. Thank you for watching, best wishes.