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Last sync:2023-01-18 12:15
In which Hank shows some footage from his punishment. Drinking peepwine and singing songs...badly

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A Bunny
( - -)
((') (')
Good morning, John. It's Thursday, December 27th. Now, let us go back in time, to a more innocent age-- an age where I had never played a live gig. Or, blended Strawberry Hill and peeps. 

Dangerously fizzy. Maybe they'll just dissolve. We didn't discuss how many peeps needed to be put in the Strawberry Hill... Maybe two is enough. I could boil them in Strawberry Hill. 

I'm glad I did that early because that's going to take some time to settle. Oooh. 

Now I'm going to film Katherine pouring the mixture back into the Strawberry Hill bottle because my hands are very shaky, as you can see. 'Cause I'm so nervous. 

The scum's not going in. That's good. I don't like the scum. The scum is going in. 

Go in! Into the bottle, peep juice. 

Katherine: Aww... It looks like throw-up. 

Hank: No... Don't say that. 

In retrospect--the peep blending with the Strawberry Hill--very much like the rest of that evening. Loud. Uncomfortable. Hastily put together. Messy. Poorly planned. Sloppily executed. Sticky. Stinky. And the product was, more or less, er, similar to dog vomit. I'll show you how it started because it's pretty much how the whole thing went. 

Helen Hunt, Helen-- *coughing* *laughter* 

I don't even know what that was. I think there was some kind of actual, solid ball of fear that my lungs produced and then they shoved it up through my mouth. Not a good to have happen while you're singing. 

And, though that didn't happen to me again, it hasn't ever happened to me in the past, either. I did find about 37 other ways to screw up. But let's not go through each and every one of those. And instead, let's just do a little recap of the concert. 

I've got a set list, which I think is horrible. 

Helen Hunt, 
Queen Ranavalona the first, 
I'm gonna kill you, 
It's too hot, it's too hot in here, 
He wants two entire miniature soccer teams from you, 
I sold your dog on eBay, 
The day that the nerds took over YouTube 
Goodbye, twenty-six-year-old me. Goodbye twenty-nine year old John, 
Cracker jacks and cornflakes don't taste good together, 
The man who throws the Tetris piece, 
But you, my girl, are the luck of my life. 

It feels like I've been up here for a few hours now. How long has it been? This song, uh, is the reason I'm famous. *laughter* 

I need Harry Potter 
Like a Grindylow needs water 
And as Saturday approaches my need grows 
Oh, Accio Deathly Hallows 
Incendio book sales embargoes 
It'll be like phoenix tears on a broken nose 
Yeah, Accio Deathly Hallows. 

That's the end of my show tonight, folks. Katherine just said "encore" which is adorable. 

Katherine: Encore, bravo. 

Person: We love you, Hank! 

Hank: I would like to thank Colin for helping set this up. Thanks to my brother and the nerdfighters and my wife. 

So what does Hank post-concert think about the concert? 

I'll be honest: It felt pretty bad. 

Katherine: It could've been worse. 

Hank: Yes, Katherine. It could have been worse. I could've been hit in the face with a vial of transmissible cancer. But as concerts go, it was pretty bad. 

There was a nerdfighter there who filmed the whole thing and has already got it up on YouTube. 

Thanks, TJ. Thanks to Geneva who got him to come out. And I'll put the link down there, or over there, or possibly right there, so you can watch the whole horrible mess of it all. 

Thanks for the punishment, everyone. All in all, a good experience. Though, officially now, not on the list of possibly career choices for me. "Rock star"? Crossed off the list. 

John, I will see your last Brotherhood 2.0 video tomorrow.