Hello and welcome to Hankgames without Hank. My name is- oh no. Manchester United at Old Trafford, a HUGE game. In our season just 7 games remaining. And we're playing the team that's running away with the 2016-2017 Premier League title, 15 points above anybody else. Ah, there's the Sir Alex Ferguson Stand- God I hate Manchester United, Meredith. I know that it is inappropriate, that I need to imagine other people and their clubs complexly, but I just hate them. I hate them. I hate them as people, I hate them as an institution. 

Oh, and there's so little that I hate in this world. I find that you have to be empathetic toward everyone except for Manchester United fans. Oh, look at their hideous ginger. Look at him, not even a regular looking ginger. As you can see they're not even putting up Manchester United, but we are in 7th on 57 points, but we're only 3 points behind 4th. We've gotta win this game! We have to win this game! We are in 7th place, but we could be in 4th place. If only we win this game and all of the teams above us lose. 

So we've just gotta focus. By the way none of the players in Manchester United's starting 11 actually play for Manchester United anymore. We've got John Green and John Green up front. We've got Less Moore and Mose Vestergaard in the middle of our midfield. Today we've got Correa ready to come off the bench. He's fast, he's loose, he's hot. We've got Dicko and Deeney on the bench. Also fast, loose and hot.

Today I'm going to guess some movie sequel's subtitles! God I love movie sequels. Meredith, have I talked to you ever about my love of movie sequels? I, I feel like the only reason they make a movie in the first place is so that someday they can make a sequel. I for one look forward to The Fault In Our Stars 2. What's going to happen? I don't know, but they always figure something out, you know? They've always got some dumb idea for a sequel. 

I mean after watching Grownups 1 I thought there's no way they could top this! But they did! They did with Grownups 2, it was amazing. What's uh- so I know a lot about movie sequels. It's a bit of my area of expertise. What's the first one? Sister Act 2?! First off, let's just pause to talk about what a great movie Sister Act 1 was. Um, and then they made it better with Sister Act 2: A Force of Habit?! No? Uh, Sister Act 2, um, Now it's a habit? No? Sister Act 2: Return of the Habits? Uh, The Habits are back? 

It is The Habits are back? Back in the Habit. Oh, that's a better pun. Man, those people who write movie sequels subtitles, they know what they're doing. Um, you know I tried to write the movie sequel subtitle for the new Chipmunks movie that Fox 2000 is making. The studio executive is the same person who produced- Oh no! The Fault In Our Stars and Paper Towns, Erin Siminoff. And, uh, I wrote her like a list of 30 possible subtitles, each better than the last and in the end they went with none of them. But, uh, that's alright, I still... I still like Erin.

Oh god! That just had to get through one person. Fortunately that person was perfectly placed because Manchester United is WAY better than all the other teams in the Premier League this year. Alright, alright unfortunately winning this game, a tie is not a win. A tie is a loss. We've gotta find a way to get 3 points out of this. That was a dangerous and aggressive tackle and I loved it! Get the ball, get the ball! Bald John Green you're better than that! You're big and strong! Your enemies fall before you! 

What the next one, Meredith? The 6th Star Wars movie? You mean Return of the Jedi? That's it? Nailed it. That was incredibly easy. What's next? Terminator 2: Rise of the Machines. No, uh... The Machine has Risen. Terminator 2... oh, it was Judgement Day! Yes! Sorry, we also have a corner kick. I was excited about both things.

Hold on, corner, corner, corner! Get to the ball John Green! John Green, John Green to John Green! "John Greens, John Greens Bald and Other John Greens! They're the best forwards that Wimbledon has ever seen!" Oh! John Green to John Green, two men in love! We will never see that connection again after this season because one of them is retiring to take care of their beautiful son JJ. John Green to John Green, Old Trafford is silenced! Oh... oh, oh man! Wow. "Is this a library, is this a library, is this a library?" You know, 'cause they're not singing? 

Um, what's next Meredith? Superman 4? Uh... The Man of Steel? Lex Luthor's World? It's Lex Luthor's World, We Just Live In It? That would have been a great one though. Why don't they ever consult me about these? Oh gosh, I don't know what he was doing- oh, get there John Green! John Green, it's in the net, it's in the net! Oh "Bald John Green, John Green, he gives it all for the team, upon his mustache we're keen, Bald John Green, John Green." 

Wow, two - nil to the good guys. 0 - 2 to the evil empire that is Manchester United. Oh, they may run away with the Premier League title this year, Meredith, but when we needed 3 points from them, they were extraordinarily generous. What's it, what's next? We just gotta make sure to not give up 2 goals now. Why did I- what just happened? Oh, oh gosh. There was a change of, there was a change. Pass it out of the back like good guys!

Yes, it was The Quest For Peace? That's a terrible Superman title. Look at John McClean, he was in Die Hard Meredith. He was in Die Hard and now he's just running, he's running towards Bald John Green! The man he loves! Oh, that would've been a great opportunity. That probably should of, probably should of, uh, thrown that in a little earlier. So it goes. Uh, alright, The Quest for Peace? The word Peace should never be in a Superman movie. Good lord... ugh, do these people know nothing of superheroes? 
It's about murder and mayhem.

What's next? Evil Dead 2... uh, isn't it like Resurrected or something? Evil Dead 2- oh god I should know this! What is it? Dead by Dawn. Of course. Ah, it's a wonderful time to die too... right? You just want die right in the middle of the night before the sun comes up. You don't want to see another sunrise, am I right? Oh god, oh god, oh god... oh GOD! Great defense! Heroic defending, then we pass it out of the back and it's half time. Great job. 

What's the next one Meredith? Nightmare on Elm Street 3, uh, Freddy's Back. Um, Jason Destroys? I think that might be Friday the 13th. Um, Freddy's Fingers? Um, Meredith, is it or is it not, uh, Fingered by Freddy Krueger? Okay, it's not. Is it Freddy... Freddy Feasts? Well is it some kind of, is it some kind of alliterative pun on the word Freddy? It's not alliterative and it's not a pun. What is it then? 

Oh! Oh! What a pass! And then he can't finish because life is full of disappointments. That was a beautiful ball though. Um, what, what is it? It's what? Dream Warriors?! God these people have terrible titling talents. Fingered by Freddy is SO much better! You know 'cause he's got those claws? You know those weird Freddy Krueger claws? I don't like, I don't like horror movies. Did you like Nightmare on Elm Street? I hate it. I don't like... because I um, it's funny because all the movies that need sequels, you know, none horror movies never get them. 

Like uh... also do you know that I would, do you know how bad I want there to be a sequel to The Fault In Our Stars? Because even though I think it's ludicrous there is a clause in my contract that I get paid a bunch of money if they make a sequel. And don't you think it'd be hilarious The Fault In Our Stars 2? Um, it's like The Breakfast Club 2. Why did they never make a sequel to The Breakfast Club? Now there's a great movie.

Why did we stop playing? Oh, because Nani doesn't get to play anymore. Okay good I got fouled. Alright, um, Meredith is it time to make substitutions? It's the 60th minute. You're my assistant manager, should I wait or should I do it now? Alright, Meredith wants me to make substitutions now. So, and she is the assistant manager. These are her decisions at this point. Oh, that's nice stuff! Shoot the ball, get fouled! Shoot the ball! What?! It's a penalty?! Are you pointing to the spot?! Did I get fouled? Did you actually call a foul against- I got fouled like 3 times so I wouldn't be surprised if you called a foul. 

Oh, what?! Meredith, did, did you see a penalty that was outside the box? Because I have to say that I did not. Alright I'm passing it square and then I'm going to let that guy shoot. Oh, come on! You're supposed to turn and shoot! Alright, Meredith said it was time for us to make substitutions, so uh... that was a little nerve-racking Seb.

Alright should we make all 3 substitutions at once like the pros do? Yes, alright who are you going to take out? Mose Vestergaard? Put in Correa I assume? Alright, uh Correa's coming in and what about Dicko and Deeney? Anybody else? No Dicko and no Deeney? Oh, she wants Dicko and Deeney, okay. Dicko and Deeney, Meredith is a huge supporter of bringing on Dicko and Deeney in the 2nd half as the John Greens age.

So that, uh, Dicko and Deeney will, um, you know like bring in, bring in some energy that the John Greens no longer have. It's really, it's an interesting strategy and it's worked out well. Do you know the last 3 times that Meredith has chosen the substitutions, one of her substitutes has scored a goal? Um, so I've become a huge fan of Meredith making the substitutions. Not that I am, uh, get there! Get- see you're right, Meredith, he's just not as young as he used to be. 

Um, I have become a huge fan of Meredith making the substitutions precisely because... what happened? Oh, we're going to make these substitutions. 3 at once just like the pros do. Thank you to John Green, John Green and the hardworking Mose Vestergaard. Um, and on come Correa, Dicko and Deeney. You know, Dicko and Deeney they're such complicated beautiful people. Like, I uh, so much that's broken about the world, but one thing that's not broken is the strange and beautiful love affair between Dicko and Deeney. 

Meredith, one of your frickin' substitutes scored again! "Do you believe in magic, 'cause Hou-Deeney scored, he surprised us all by scoring a goal" I still don't have the words. But Meredith, did you just see that 30 seconds after you made a substitution- assistant coach Meredith is a genius, guys. She brings in Dicko and Deeney. Dicko passes to Deeney, Deeney puts it in the back of the net, it's three - nil against Manchester United. We're not just winning, we're humiliating them! We've hurt their feelings! They're at home and they're embarrassed.

You may win the Premier League title this year, but we will have this memory forever. Dicko, Deeney, Green, Green, it's just been a beautiful day for the Wimbly Womblys. Are there any more sequels for me to talk about, Meredith? Oh look, I passed the ball out of bounds to myself, just like in the old days. X-Men 2: First Class? X-men 2: Rise of the Mutants? Fall of the Mutants? Middle, Middling of the Mutants? X-Men 2: United! Oh, like the airline- I wonder if they paid for that? 

Oh, that's a good ball! That's good stuff! It's forward thinking... get to the ball! Oh my god, Meredith! You are a genius! Who?Deeney! Who? Deeney! "Do you believe in magic, I don't have the words, why don't you write them in comments you nerds" That was pretty good! Oh man, Dicko to Deeney again and it's four - nil against Manchester United, away from home. The best team in the Premier League. We're not just beating them, we're humiliating them. 

Thanks, in no small part, to Meredith's perfectly timed, perfect uh... substitutions. What, give me, give me another movie subtitle. Jurassic Park 2: The Lost World! That one, I did that one, I got it. Oh, oh Meredith... it's still happening! Ohhh! It was a great save from David de Gea! Wow! Wow! But I mean, we are at this point, at this point they're just trying to minimize the pain and we're thinking about our goal differential, which could be what decides, uh.

Our goal differential right now is not good 'cause we've had so many draws, um, and that could ultimately be what decides, uh, who wins. Are there any others, Meredith? What is it? Huh? Rambo 2: First Blood. First Blood Part 2, right because Rambo 1 was called Rambo 1: First Blood. And then do you know what the 3rd movie was called? Rambo. It wasn't called Rambo 3, just called Rambo because they'd already, you know, they'd already- 'cause the first movie had a subtitle, so the third movie didn't need one. 

The fascinating, the thing I find fascinating about this is that movies don't even- titles aren't copyrightable so they could just call it Rambo. They could call every one Rambo. Go see the new Rambo movie. What's it called? Rambo, just like the others. Um, but they choose not to. We did it! We won the game! We're geniuses! Four - nil goals from Green, Green, Deeney, and Deeney assisted by Dicko and Dicko! Meredith's substitutions come through again! Our annus mirabilis continues! I love being alive! Thank you for watching. Suck it United! Best wishes.