Huuuuu, it's time to get real you guys, and when I say that, "time to get real," you don't know what's gonna happen! Is Hank gonna get really upset about something? Is he gonna be really happy about something? Are we gonna go someplace really serious, or are we gonna talk about donuts for two minutes? We're gonna talk about donuts for two minutes!

I love donuts, OK? So I bought the donut, I hit it with a hammer. I didn't eat that particular donut but I do like a good donut. I do not like a grocery store donut, which is what that was.

When I'm gonna have a donut experience, I'm gonna have a *good* donut experience, because this is a piece of fried bread with a bunch of sugar in and on it. This is not a healthy experience, this is not something that I'm gonna feel good about later UNLESS... UNLESS it is a magnificent experience. And so I do not eat bad donuts. I have no interest in bad donuts, I do not think that bad donuts should exist.

There are some donuts at Krispy Kreme. A glazed, right off the rack I'll eat that. One of them. If I have two, because I ate the first one and I was like "that was good, I want another," at the end of the second, I feel like a garbage.

Not just emotionally, though there is that component as well. Also Physically. It's just too much. There is only so much Krispy Kreme one should have at a time.

So we have a Krispy Kreme in Missoula, this is a fairly small city, so we don't have everything. We don't have like a Voodoo Donuts style fancy donut place. But what we do have is a lot of donuts that are pretending. They're... I'm not sure... They're pretending to be several different incompatible things.

One of the things they're pretending to be is healthy. I'm a vegan, gluten free donut. Get off of it! No. NO!

They're always tiny, they're like a barely-not-a-mini donut, and they also cost four dollars! And then the other thing they're pretending to be is a donut! It's no a donut!

Hello, I'm Hank Green. This is a mid-roll advertisement. We were just talking about donuts, but now we're gonna talk a little bit about the fact that you can get this pea pod pizza john shirt for only today and then never again. It will never be available after today again, and I just wanted to share that information with you. Now back to that angry donut guy.

I was walking past a donut stand at the Missoula farmers' market and it said "baked, not fried." This is not something to brag about! This is - like you've not made a donut, you've made a bad! You made a round cake! It's basically just a shitty bagel!

Look, it's a donut, it's not supposed to be good for you, it's supposed to be WORTH IT! Make my donut worth it! Which is why I'm glad that I can get to the Windmill Bakery where they sell two pound donuts that are fried, not baked, and then covered in sugar! And there's one flavor, and they're always hot because they're always flying out the door! You have to wait for them to make more donuts in their like... small fryer, there's not a conveyor belt.

Windmill Bakery, outside of Missoula, that's a real donut. I want something that I can cut in half, share with a friend, and still not get hungry for like five days!