[Hank] Good morning Willy!

[John] Do you guys want to see a trick? ...

PANIC! I'm a bad person. [H] You're gonna be a great father. [imitating panicked baby] Waaaaah! [J] RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! Good morning Hank. [H] Good morning John. [J] Today we're going to talk about Christmas. [H] 'Cause it's Christmastime. [J] It's almost Christmastime.

I feel like the holiday season is upon us, like literally, like it is preying upon us. [H] It is latched on like a zombie. [J] Yes. [H] Controlling our every movements. [J] It's certainly controlled my movements in the last 48 hours because all I've done is buy stuff. Willy I'm sorry about the panic. [H] He doesn't care, he's forgotten about it. [J] That's the great thing about having a dog. [H] That's the great thing about having a stupid dog. [J] Poor Willy, he's so beautiful but he's so stupid. Willy!

Will you be in the thumbnail? Thumbnail! Hank and I are both huge fans of the Christmas season, is that fair to say? [H] That's fair to say. [J] I hate it. [H] I love it! [J] I usually hate it but this year I've gotten more into it because we're expecting our first kid and you're here and Katherine's here and Mom and Dad are here and we've got this beautiful Christmas tree.

Because I'm so into Christmas this year, I thought that it would be appropriate to talk some ... Christmas... facts... gesticulation now! What was the first state to recognize Christmas as an official holiday in the United States? [H] I think it was Alabama. [J] It's almost like I already told you this fact and you're cheating! [H] But when, John, when? [J] In 1838 the state of Alabama declared Christmas a state holiday.

Christmas did not become a national holiday in the United States until 1870 so for almost the first 100 years of our union, Christmas was not considered a national holiday. But early in American history there were fewer national holidays. [H] Right. [J] But also, Christmas- [H] Well we were busier. [J] Right. [H] People had... stuff to do. [J] That's- like inventing electricity. But then they had their evenings off due to lack of light.

Do you know anything about Hot Cockles? Hot Cockles is not for contemporary life. So one person is blindfolded and there are a bunch of people in the room and then one of the people who isn't blindfolded hits the person who is blindfolded and then the blindfolded person has to guess who hit them. [H] So if you want to be sneaky about you're like [taps John on the face] - 'oh that was Sarah!' [J] 'That was definitely Sarah!' [H] 'That was Sarah!' [J] For some reason associated almost exclusively with Christmas. [H] And why is it Hot and Cockle-y? [J] Well you do wonder. [H] John, did you know that Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer was invented by the Woolworth company? [J] I did not know that because it's not true.

It was Montgomery Ward- [H] Argh! [J] - maybe I should do the facts! Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer was invented in the late 1930s by the Montgomery Ward Department Store. They had one of their copywriters, a guy named Robert May, write a Christmas story and because he was like a nerdy, wimpy, small guy he decided to write a Christmas story about a nerdy, wimpy, small reindeer named Rudolph and then the story just became massive. [H] Because everybody loves a nerdy reindeer. [J] If you're gonna have a reindeer, you want a nerdy one.

In Canada, what is Santa's postal code? [H] I don't know, what do Canadian postal codes look like? [J] Letter, number, letter, number, letter, number. [H] Is it 1337speak? [J] It is 1337speak! [H] Is it H-zero-H-zero- [J] Yes! [H] -H-zero? [J] Yes! H-zero-H-zero-H-zero! [H] Okay I got one. Jingle Bells? [J] Yes. [H] You know how that goes? [J] Jingle Bells, Batman smells- [H] Yeah that one. [J] -Robin laid an egg. [H] Before it was about Batman, it was about...?

What? [J] Christmas. [H] Thanksgiving. [J] No way, really? [H] It's a Thanksgiving song which is why it has no references to Christmas in it. [J] Are you sure? [H] Yeah! [J] I'm gonna check that. I'm gonna... fact check! Wow, wrote it in 1857 for a Thanksgiving program.

James Lloyd- Lord Pierpont, best known for composing Jingle Bells. But, I mean, to be fair he should be famous for that beard. Alright, Hank, here's the last Christmas fact for you.

Do you know all of the words to the Jingle Bells, Batman Smells song. [H] I think I do. Jingle bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg. The Batmobile lost a wheel and the Joker got away. [J + H] Hey!

Happy holidays! [H] Puff fight. [J] Ow! Puff fight. Ow!

My puff is stronger than your puff.