Hi John! Hi John! Hi John! Hi John! Hi John! This is making my balls cold! Hi John! Howdy Johnny-boy! Hi… John… I guess? Good morning, John! It’s Wednesday, January 31st.

The University of Georgia’s mascot is a bulldog, so they covered the town of Athens with bulldogs, and I covered their bulldogs with myself. That’s a pretty normal thing to do on a Tuesday evening, isn’t it?

In keeping with the tradition of movie magic-ing, that was actually not filmed today, nor was it filmed yesterday. It was filmed on the day of my last video, but I had already filmed the intro for that day in Asheville, so I had to use that day’s footage for today’s intro. So I’m not actually in Athens anymore; I’m in Orlando, Florida. Welcome to Orlando, where everything sucks. Okay, not everything sucks or else I wouldn’t be here, right? So the people, some of them, are very cool.

John Green, as you are playing the Nintendo Wii, I can only assume that you have finished your first draft of your book. Because there is no way you’re gonna finish your first draft of your book after you get a Wii. Very exciting news that you finished your first draft of the as-yet-unnamed third book of John Green, and also very good news that you have a Wii

Which leads me to the punishment. Someone suggested that you send me your Wii as punishment, ohohohhh, yeah! But! I am not that much of a jerk. So, getting down to business, I have to come up with a punishment, and I got a lot of them to choose from. Some people are calling you a stand up citizen for agreeing to do the punishment before I told you to do the punishment. But you called me on the phone and tried to convince me that it wasn’t a punishable offense that you sent me that e-mail. I just wanted to set the record straight on that one.

Now the e-mail wasn’t really a personal communication, so I can see why maybe a little bit there’s some leeway there, so I’m not gonna give you the worst punishments possible. In fact, I think I’m gonna give you a choice. And I honestly don’t know which one you will choose, but you have to do one of the two following things: Grow your facial hair for a week, and then wax your chin, or fill a large bowl with Ben and Jerry’s ice cream and then watch it melt.

Additionally, I agree with the majority of our commenters that "in my pants" is funnier than "in your pants" when it comes to Everyone Poops. Everyone Poops in My Pants is a sad story, whereas Everyone Poops in Your Pants is a funny story. And I think our viewers will agree with me when I say that funny stories about poop aren’t as funny as sad stories about poop. And I am waiting in great anticipation for the picture book Everyone Poops in My Pants.

John Green, I will see you tomorrow.

Another Brotherhood 2.0 special feature is upon us, and this one is slightly disturbing. You might want to cover up the kiddies’ eyes; I am not doing what it looks like I’m doing to this bulldog.

Katherine: Ride it! (William Tell Overture plays)

Katherine: How do you feel about what’s just happened to you? That wasn’t very comfortable, was it?