Good morning, Hank, it’s Tuesday. I’m doing a photoshoot in which they want me to pretend to vlog so I’m going to actually vlog. Here are all the people taking my picture.

Woke up in Los Angeles at 6:15 in the morning on Saturday, brushed my teeth, got my picture taken while taking moving pictures of myself, and then got on a hotel elevator clearly not designed for people who fear heights.

I don’t like this at all.

Met up with Eleanor & Park author Rainbow Rowell and then went to USC for the L.A. Times book festival where my long time editor Julie Strauss-Gabel was talking to Maya Van Wagenen, a 15-year-old who has written a fascinating and wonderful anthropological experiment/memoir called Popular. And then I got to ride in a golf cart - you can just see my glee - before heading backstage to prepare for my event. I was very nervous backstage, but man, the lighting was fantastic. Hank, before I go on stage for book stuff now, I always remind myself of my readings, and there were many of them, that were attended by between 0 and 3 people, and I give thanks for Brotherhood 2.0 and Nerdfighteria and for you, Hank, and then I take a deep breath and, well… (crowd cheering)

So I talked to all these nice people for a while, and then went over to sign books for several hours where I met lots of people wearing various "okay, okay" shirts, and TFIOS iPhone cases, and TFIOS nails, and a dog named Alaska, and this couple who met through Nerdfighteria and now are married. Then I met up with my friend Veronica Roth, and shortly thereafter, fell asleep in the cab on the way back to the hotel. I was trying to film myself fake falling asleep, but then I actually fell asleep, so it goes… Woke up the next morning at 5:15 to watch Liverpool - Manchester City, which was wonderful, and then terrifying, and then wonderful again.

Yes! We did it, Hank. We being, of course, the people on the pitch, the people in the stadium, and me in Los Angeles wearing my Liverpool jacket.

And then I got to see my friend T Cooper who wrote Changers, and then I headed to different hotel to meet… Oh, look, it’s Ansel Elgort, who plays Gus in The Fault in Our Stars, and whose worldview involves a great deal of shirtlessness, and frankly, who among us can blame him? Sarah was there too and we drank champagne by the pool which was awesome, and then we got all fancy for the MTV Movie Awards, met up with Nat Wolff, and soon found ourselves on an actual red carpet.

Hank, I really love Nerdfighteria and the chance to talk about stuff I care about with people I care about, but I don’t particularly wanna be, like, a real celebrity, which is why we've always turned down TV stuff, but I’m really proud of the TFIOS movie and I want to support it, and plus I like hanging out with Nat, so there we were on the very same red carpet as, like, Jonah Hill and Grumpy Cat.  Nat and I tried to answer questions even though the screaming and the cameras resulted in both of us, to use internet parlance, losing our ability to even. It was really, really overwhelming, Hank, and interviewers kept asking me how I was handling the attention that accompanies a book becoming a movie and if our community would change because of it, and I wanted to answer every question by saying “I AM FREAKING OUT RIGHT NOW!”

And I found myself thinking of Grumpy Cat, who, in spite of it all, remained, you know, cat-like, and grumpy, and I thought: “You know what? Grumpy Cat has this thing figured out!” So Nerdfighteria, this is gonna be weird and hopefully awesome, but let’s just focus on continuing to do the stuff that we're good at, okay? And on that subject:

Hi, Hank. Me from the future here. In a stunning turn of events, I find myself in an airport. Anyway, we are relaunching the Nerdfighter Book Club, and our new book is going to be Behind the Beautiful Forevers, by Katherine Boo, a fascinating and nuanced look at poverty in one Indian community, so check it out; link's in the doobly-doo.