Hank: Do you know how the videos start?

Craig: How your videos start?

H: Yep.

C: Yes. Good morning John!

H: Good Job!

C: (Sings) Vlogbrothers!

H: Wait, how do your videos start?

Together: (singing) Wheezy Waiter (Hums the beat to the intro)

H: Why don't I have theme music?

C: How about... I'll make one for you. Vlogbrothers!

H: The great thing is that I'm gonna put that in as the intro, and then we're gonna have that conversation.

C: OK. That sounds good! I love it.

H: So people have suggested things that we should do together and questions we should ask each other.

C: OK.

H: Let's start with this question: Would you rather have a butt for a face or a face for a butt?

C: Wait. So if I have a face for a butt does that mean I have a butt for a...

H: No no no no...

C: I just would have two faces?

H: You just have two faces.

C: Two faces.

H: Butt face and face face.

C: Well obviously I would...

H: Oh, yeah yeah two faces.

C: Two faces, because I need to eat! (Hank laughs)

H: If you had a butt-face you would eat through the butt and poop through your other butt and the same, you would poop out the face.

C: But the butt wouldn't have any teeth, or would it? Would the butt have teeth?

H: I think it'd just be smoothies. No, I mean, like, the thing is no one ever sees your butt so no one has to know!

C: But you would have to sit on it.

H: let's do a suggestion for an activity.

C: Kay!

H: zeroefficency says "Hide".

(Both hide)

C: It's really easy to hide from a camera.

Together: Haaa!

H: Jessica wants us to play one word story. Do you know what that is? 

C: Yes. we just, we make a story with one word at a time.

H: Yeah.

C: The

H: big

C: giant

H: had

C: money

H: so

C: he

H: decided

C: to

H: make

C: more

H: dogs

C: lackadaisically

H: put

C: monkeys

H: in

C: other 

H: cupboards.

H: Ante says: "egale punch competition." I think probably means eagle.

C: Do we have an eagle in here?

H: Oh. they're all over the place. 

C: Oh, there's one. (Punches eagle)

H: They're coming at us now! (Punches eagle)

C: Wait, what's the competition? 

H: Gotta get lots! (Punch more eagles) I don't know who won, but I'll find out when I'm editing...

C: Okay, all right.

H: Joseph says "High five. Using feet."

C: Oh!

H: Almost getcha, almost getcha!

Together: Both feet high five!

H: Wow, that last one was satisfying.

C: Ahhhh. We're thirty-six year old men, aren't we?

H: SweetChuck says we should clone ourselves. I've always wanted to get punched by a Wheezy Clone.

C: I'll go get a Wheezy Clone for you.

H: Okay.

C: Okay.

Clone: Hello, I'm a clone of Wheezy Waiter.

H: Wow! You're making this edit really easy for me.

Clone: I don't know what you mean. You ready to be punched?

H: I think I'm ready. Finally my dreams are coming true. (Clone punches Hank) That was good. Phoenix wants us to scream for four minutes. Which is a thing that I feel like doing anyway, after this week.

C: Okay.

H: All right. 3, 2, 1. (Both scream) Michael wants us to kiss. (Craig kisses Hank)

Together: We did it! We did it.

H: Lucy says, "make old man noises". I think that this is the main old man noise. HNNNNNGGGH! (Craig laughs)

C: I do that. 

H: (makes old man noises)

C: Oh, well, it's time to go. I don't know why you feel the need to tighten up when you're... So I can talk normal while standing up or sitting down, but sometimes I will actually go like this. Like when I...

H: Oh, it's like I gotta concentrate on not pooping right now. Soonie says "pillow fight".

Together: (Screams as they pillow fight)

H: Michael Aranda suggests "A Day in the Life of Orin Green, starring Hank Green as Dad and Craig Benzine as Baby." 

C: (Cries like a baby then poops)

H: Hey, Craig, thanks for joining me on this exceptionally weird episode of, of Vlogbrothers, in which I distract myself from the current state of world.

C: You're welcome. I'm, I'm here for ya, Hank. And thanks for letting me be here. Instead of, you know, probably in a gutter somewhere. That's where I'd be.

H: You might be in a hotel room changing pants.

C: Are you saying my pants are dirty?

H: Well thanks for joining us. What do we say at the end of the videos?

C: John, I'll see ya on Tuesday. (ding)

H: Did you wink?

C: I did.

H: Yeah!

Thanks Craig, you can click over here, maybe, to go to his YouTube channel. It's good stuff. And he's gonna be at Nerdcon: Nerdfighteria in Boston, February 25th and 26th. That was fun. There's a longer version of this video also on hankschannel.