Hank: Hello, and welcome to Hank and Katherine Play LEGO Harry Potter Years 1-4. We...we...

Katherine: Ah! Ahgah!

H:...just realized that we need some Polyjuice potion. And Katherine is ahgah-ing. 

K: I was just...shooting.

H: Because she needs to shoot the lanterns off.

K: Shooting.

H: She's got a compulsion. Why...

K: I have a thing. Anything? Must be toward...oh I fell off the edge! Oh there's an edge over there. 

H: See, it's never, it's never worth it.

K: Oh god I almost fell off it again.

H: It's never  worth it, you always end up dying.

K: No, shush. No shush, what is this? What is this? Ahhhh

H: Curiosity killed the Ron. That's the thing that we just went to!

K: Okay...

H: Now we have to go back to our Common Room and learn how to use Polyjuice Potion?

K: Common Room? You think we learn how to make polyj...polyjuice potion in the Common Room?

H: Oh, bathroom? The bathroom? Is it in a bathroom where we learn? Hermione figures something out and we have to like...Apparently we're going to the forbidden area, where is Hermione? We need Hermione?

K: Why would we do that? Why, why wouldn't we follow the ghosty studs?

H: We should follow the ghosty studs, why did...the step...I can't change the stairways from up there.

K: (Mumbles, mocking Hank)

H: (Mumbles)

K: (Laughs).

H: Ronald. My niece is my witness.

K: Why does she...okay. What?

H: What?

K: Ghost...

H: Ghost!

K: Ghost...stud.

H: (High voice) Ghosty bolts!

K: Give it...it makes. 

H: What?

K: It makes my...pants.

H: It makes your pants what?

K: Nothing!

Both: (Laugh) Lalalalalala

H: (Singing) Don't be shy, I said a my-oh-my, you want to kiss the girl.

K: (Singing) Oh no! (Speaking) Why did that happen? That was weird.

H: (Laughs).

K: I just went with it, though.

H: Well 'cause you said...you said lalalalalala

K: (Singing) Don't be scared! We got the mood prepared, you're gonna kiss the girl. (Speaking) Hey.

H: What? Hey yourself.

K: Glow it, little glow ball.

H: Glow ball.

K: Glow...glow ball.

Both: (Singing made up songs)

H: Ahh!

K: Snake!

H: Should I Parseltongue that bitch? I don't know how to...no. I don't know how it works.

K: Oh. It only works in certain places. Ahh!

H: I'm going down this hole. I'm going down this hole.

K: It's okay I was just floating that boy for some reason. Not what I meant to do.

H: Tippy toe. Where did Hermione come from? 

K: She was, uh, in the library.

H: Already.

K: Finding this book.

H: Imma turn into somebody else!

K: Haha!

H: And now I'm gonna touch my boobies in the mirror.

K: Oh, it is fun to become a lady. 

H: (Singing) It is fun to become a lady!

K: Thought I was Harry for a second there. Whoa, look out! That thing is sharp.

H: Oh, what did I make? Okay, shooting everything. Shooting it all.

K: Yeah, we could...we could be a little more methodical about this, but you know, whatever.

H: I found the first piece already!

K: We're shooting things, so that's good.

H: Except I don't see that floating on there. It's some hair! It's some hair. 

K: What are you talking about?

H: I put some hair in the Polyjuice potion thing. Clink!

K: Okay, give me it. Okay, give me it.

H: Did you find an apple?

K: Give it. Gimmit. Yeah.

H: Or a lobster?

K: A lot of...cherries or something. I think. You know. Lobster, yeah. Oh, I'm behind the wall over here, but I am making stuff happen.

H: Oh, I made a gas balloon!

K: That's for sure.

H: Yeah, this painting will only respond to a member of Hufflepuff house.

K: Oh. Okay, sorry.

H: That's what we do when we....

K: Hadn't you already done that?

H: No. I just figured...Ooh! Yes! Hello apple. Pixie. Pixie.

K: Pixie, Pixie.

H: Nope. Thank you. Took you long enough. (Singing) Lalalalalala don't be scared, we've got the mood prepared. You wanna kiss the girl. (Speaking) Justin Finch-Fletchley!

K: Finch!

H: Finch.

K: Finch-Fletchley!

H: Flinch, flinch. Flincy Fletchley.

K: Ferch frechy frech.

H: I'm gonna change into somebody else! Watch! It's gonna be awesome. Here I go, I'm changing into somebody else! I get to choose?

K: You have to pick Justin Finch-Fletchley.

H: Hello Justin Finch-Fletchley.

K: Even though we already unlocked a Lee Jordan and a...

H: Yeah, I don't know why there was nobody else down there.

K: I don't know, we might have to...

H: Unlocked! Look at me. I'm...isn't Ju...is he hot? Can I like, get more girls now?

K: I don't know.

H: Does he have a girlfriend? I can go pretend to be Justin Finch-Fletchley and be like hello!

K: Snog her. Snog her while she's not paying attention.

H: Yes. Get the snog on. Get the Fletches...the Finch-Fletchers snog on. What did you get me? What's this? Yeah!

K: Hm.

H: It's gonna float up, and then it's gonna explode, and it's gonna make bolts. And then it's gonna be four of five. So there's one more, somewhere. That one? Nope. That one? Nope. I did that one. Oh, there's like another out door over here. I'm confused.

K: Where's the other one?

H: I thought the door opened over here?

K: What?

H: I thought a door opened over here.

K: Over here? This one?

H: This...yeah. This, like a gate one, up right here.

K: Oh.

H: Oh there it is! It's that one. What's gonna...what's gonna happen? What are we gonna get? What are we gonna get?

K: Hermione you're so in the way.

H: What are we gonna get? What are we gonna get? (Mumbles). Is it a Hufflepuff boy or is it gonna be a house crest or is it gonna be a gold block, or is it gonna be a red thing?

K: Is it gonna be nothing?

H: Could it possibly be nothing?

K: Oh, it's a purple thing.

H: Purple thing!

K: Whoa! And way more afterwards.

H: It exploded into more! We got one million bolts, my dear!

K: One million.

H: One million bolts!

K: That's more than ever!

H: And I...I say bolts, I mean studs!

K: Of course you do!

H: That's the most we've ever had.

K: It's not...it's not a few.

H: It's like a buttful.

K: It's more than a few.

H: It's a total buttful.

K: (Laughs)

H: You just shot Hermione in the head.

K: I totally did.

H: Okay, I think we're done in here.

K: Right in the head. Okay. Um...oh.

H: Oh.

K: Ohhh.

H: Awww. It's okay, we have a million bolts!

K: A million bolts? I like a million bolts. Where are we going Gryffen...misters.

H: We're following the ghost bolts. Following ghost bolts. They come...it's like he's pooping them. Bloop! Bloop! Bloop! Bloop!

K: Yeah. They do kinda come out of his but. One of eight!

H: Stop pooping ghost bolts. Ghost poops. Coming with me?

K: I guess. Four of eight!

H: That's so many more.

K: Mmmmm. Mhm.

H: Are we headed back down to Slytherin to become a Slytherin, to become a Slytherin?

K: Uh.

H: Why are you saying 'mm' to me?

K: I think he's just saying haha!

Both: (Imitate game sounds)

H: What is this?

K: Polyjuice potion.

H: Really? Can I change back into Harry Potter now? Might be a good idea. Don't mind if I do! So like, that's just automatically Polyjuice potion now? We don't have to make it? 

K: Yeah. Correct.

H: Well that is nice.

K: Polyjuice potion is just available to us whenever we need it.

H: Whenever we...except that our, our current database of people to change into is very limited.

K: Yeah, um.

H: Which I don't understand since we collected like, twenty....

K: Yeah we've got like, Ravenclaw boy and...

H: Yeah. Oh. This one we have to, we have to build.

K: We do have to collect the pieces but it's available.

H: Okay. And there's, there's the, uh, lobster.

K: Lobster.

H: Plop it in there! Give it a plopper! Plop it! Harry freakin' Potter, put the thing in the pot.

K: Push the Z button.

H: I pushed it like a thousand times!

K: Alright, alright, relax.

H: Why do you think I was sitting here? I don't know why I'm doing this.

K: I don't know why you're doing that either. You can be Justin Finch-Fletchley again.

H: I guess I'll be Harry Potter. Maybe there's...maybe there's a...there is a Hufflepuff boy thing in this room.

K: There is! What?

H: In this room.

K: Oh, yes. There is.

H: And he's the Hufflepuff boy.

K: Uh, you're right. You're right. You're so smart.

H: Look at all of our choices.

K: Yeah.

H: Aw, man. Z! Hello, open the gate! What is behind curtain number one?

K: Um.

H: It's the place we have to go!

K: Douchewad. This guy.

H: Douchewad that guy. Why are you shooting Gilderoy in the head?

K: I just don't like him.

H: I just don't like him either. There's a thing behind this!

K: Wait, look look look! I'm making them change outfits!

H: There's a thing, I can see it!

K: Look!

H: I got it! Harry blue shirt! That's gonna come in handy.

K: (Laughs) Okay that's just fun. It's not really getting me anything.

H: I like the noise it makes. Ahhhh!

K: Haaaa!

H: Why did I die?

K: Oh, I don't know.

H: I fell off again!

K: You need to...make a spiral motion.

H: I'm making a...your butt!

K: I'm stuck. What the fark?

H: Yes. Who's dumb, dumb butt now?

K: You're dumb butt.

H: Dumb dumb butt.

K: Dumb dumb dumb butt. Dumbity dumb butt. Dumbity dumb. (Mumbles)

H: (Laughs)

K: Sometimes I get the gibbers!

Both: (Laugh)

K: I don't like this part.

H: Who's dumb butt? Hermione I need your book! Do your magic. Star hat flask moon!

K: Boy it's always...it's always so hard.

H: I know, it's so confusing. It's like the worst case of Concentration of all time.

K: Somebody walked away and then it was...then it...stopped working. So, I pushed...and then....I had to do it again.

H: Oh, yes, well that's not my fault.

K: Because...somebody.

H: We're both doing it. We are building a thing!

K: I'm not doing anything.

H: What is that? Imma get on it! Get up on it! You can't Leviosa this?

K: No.

H: You can Leviosa that! Oh, yes. Shoot it, of course. Hermione cat! That will come in handy.

K: I don't want Hermione cat.

H: You're such a clever witch. Sometimes you turn yourself into a cat. What are we doing?

K: Mostly the cat hair...ohhh! We're unclogging your...give me your ducky!

H: Thank you for the ducky. Hello, ducky. I will explode it.

K: You got to put down the ducky!

H: (Singing) Put the ducky in the ducky man's hat!

K: (Singing) Put down the ducky!

H: (Singing) Pass the ducky from the left hand side.

K: (Singing) You gotta put down the ducky if you wanna play the saxophone.

Both: (Laugh)

H: (Singing) Rubber ducky, you're the one.

K: (Singing) You gotta put down the ducky.

H: (Singing) You make bath time lots of fun.

K: (Singing) Put down the ducky!

H: (Singing) Rubber ducky you're my favorite one.

K: You..do you think I'm making this song up? Because I'm not.

H: I didn't do that!! Cupcakes! Oh right, they're laced with poison.

K: Sleeping potion. I want a cupcake!

H: I don't have one.

K: With no sleeping potion in it, please. Oh Crabbe and Goyle. You have a flat top.

H: I would eat a cupcake even with sleeping potion in it.

K: Dude's livin' in the eighties.

H: Just chill out. Just take a...take a nap.

K: Chill out. Maxin', relaxin' all cool and all...

H: (Laughing) We have a lot of songs in us.

K: (Sings)

H: We have like four different duck songs.

K: (Laughs) Seems like...

H: I know that song.

K: Okay good. 'Cause it seemed like you were...

H: No, I was just singing the other duck song.

K: Why? Because you always have to sing when I'm singing?

H: No!

K: Because your song is so much better than my song.

H: Yeah, you get two...two silver bolts if you do that. Are you cleaning? No.

K: Whaaat?

H: You stopped that book. Two of eight! Keep stompin' the book! Keep stompin' that book. 

K: Keep fricken that chicken!

H: Keep fricken that chicken. (Laughs)

K: (Laughs) Edited for...

H: Yeah, edited for, for, your...

K: Edited for G-ness.

H: Um, you gotta check out that video, though. If you've never seen it.

K: Keep fricken that chicken.

H: Just Google the unedited version of that statement and you can watch a hilarious video. That I will continue to laugh at until the day I die. Or until the internet stops working. In which case I will probably still keep laughing at it.

K: (Muttering while Hank talks)

H: Ooh, we got a Scabbers...a Scabbers hole. I got a hole for you, Scabbers!

K: Batman! In a tub!

H: Cat-girl! In a tub! Shoot the fricken...Harry Potter, shoot the thing or I will punch you in the nose!

K: Someone's getting a little testy. Okay I can't figure out where this one is supposed to go. 

H: Harry. Okay, this one goes up here. That one goes there. There we go. Ron, we need your rat. Make a rat for us, Ron. (Sings) I'm a death eater but I look like a rat.

K: (Sings) Ratty ratty ratty ratty. Ratty ratty ratty ratty. Ratty ratty ratty rat!

H: I made a...ship! For you!

K: (Singing) Ratty ratty ratty ratty. Ratty ratty ratty ratty. Ratty ratty ratty ratty.

H: Follow the ship! What is going on? Should I...should we shoot the ship?

K: Shoot the ship! (Singing) Ratty ratty ratty ratty. Ratty ratty ratty ratty. Ratty ratty ratty rat!

H: Trying to shoot the ship, it's not doing anything. Ship! Ship! 

K: Come back.

H: Ship! Hello! Ship!

K: Come back, ship.

H: Ship!

K: Please come back, ship!

H: What was the...hello!

K: Shippity ship? Gonna ride the ship? No?

H: Oh. AHhh!

K: This is why I hate this one. Because it's like, ambiguous what the...frick is supposed to be going on.

H: Apparently I'm supposed to be jumping off the edge and dying. Hello ship. Hello ship. Ahhh! That is not good.

Both: (Laugh)

H: I am going to do this!

K: Okay, no, I don't think you are. I really don't.

H: Yeah, you go up there. You learn. Learn from my mistakes.

K: Hmm.

H: Ballsack!

K: (Laughs)

H: Nooo!

K: What is happening? Okay. This is not a thing I can explore at the moment? Maybe?

H: No, you need a...you need an explodey explode the thing, thing.

K: Explodey the thing thing. Yes. I do need that.

H: I'm in one of these!

K: What is this? Hm? What is that? Yes.

H: It's a water-sucker!

K: Suck up that water, suck it!

H: Suck it! Now that we have created a water sucker I think we need to end this episode of Hank and Katherine Play LEGO Harry Potter Years 1-whaaat?

K: Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

H: There you go.

K: Thank you. Thank you very much, that is what I needed.

H: After Katherine climbs this...tree tower.

K: Mmmm!

H: You will not see us and we will not see you but you will hear us. Next time on Hank and Katherine Play LEGO Harry Potter Years 1-4. Weeee!

K: Goodbye.

H: Goodbye.