[Intro Music: Holy Fucking Science!]


Matthew Gaydos: Alright, so my super unsexy...

Nick Jenkins: Sex topic?

MG: Sex topic.

NJ: Okay.

MG: Starts off with a quiz.

NJ: Oh!

MG: For the two of you. Which animal has the largest testicles in relation to its body weight in the world?

NJ: Let me go first because you might know it, so, let me get a chance...

Dr. Lindsey Doe: Is this multiple choice?

MG: Nope! 'Cause I didn't think that far ahead.

NJ: Let me have the chance to...

MG: So, any animal in the world, go! [Indicates NJ]

NJ: I'm gonna go with a rat.

MG: Okay.

LD: Oh yeah! I mean, I was just thinking primate.

MG: You're both very wrong.

LD: Yay! [Applaudes]

MG: The answer, and I might pronounce this first word incorrectly, is a Tuberous Bushcricket.

LD: Hm!

MG: Yeah. A little bitty cricket.

LD: I didn't even know that insects had testicles.

NJ: I didn't either! [Laughs]

MG: Yeah, Holy Fucking Science, right?

LD + NJ: Yeah!

LD: Holy Fucking Science!

NJ: Already off to a good start.

MG: Uh, this is a thing that scientists discovered in 2010, they found out that the testicles of the Tuberous Bushcricket make up 14% of its body weight.

NJ: That's too much percent.

MG: It's a lot of percent.

LD: Wait, wait, wait, let's do that for you gentlemen.

MG: That's math.

LD: Yeah, we can do math.

NJ: [Groans]

LD: So fourteen is a little more than a half of a quarter.

MG: That's the easy, no that's less than a quarter?! That's real bad math Lindsey.

NJ: Yeah...

LD: No, a quarter is twenty-five, half of twenty-five is twelve and a half.

MG: I was gonna say, there's definitely easier way to do this. So 14%...

NJ: Okay, so let's...

MG: I weigh 180. Go!

LD: I was...

NJ: So, about 20lbs, roughly, somewhere, 20-25lbs.

MG: I'm gonna believe you.

NJ: I'm not gonna talk about this because I'm very, very protective of my weight.

LD: I'm just gonna say...

MG: Does 25 sound about right to you guys?

LD: ...that it's like...

MG: Alright, so 20lbs essentially?! If I had 20lbs of testicles, I'd be sitting on right now.

NJ: No...

MG: Yeah!

NJ: No, I don't wanna.

MG: They put it in terms that, the article I read and learned about this, in terms that didn't really help me understand too well, because they said a human with these proportions, it would be like each testicle being the weight of five bags of sugar.

NJ: Well, what the...

LD: That's a head.

NJ: What the fuck is that?! What?!

MG: Oh yeah, five bags of sugar, I know how much that is.

LD: It's two heads! You have two head testicles.

MG: Mmm. But more, bigger I think?

LD: What is the kid...

MG: My head is not 14% of my body weight, I don't think?

LD: ...in, uh, the movie? The kid?

MG: Jerry Maguire?

LD: Yeah.

MG: Says the human head only weighs 8lbs.

LD: Okay, so it's three.

NJ: Wow.

MG: Three human heads danging between my legs.

NJ: Can they talk?

MG + LD: [Laughs]

MG: I hope not!

LD: We are the faces of your testicle heads! One, two, three.

NJ: Don't do fan art!

MG: I was gonna ask for the opposite of that!

LD: [Laughs, claps] I like fan art!

MG: Holy Fucking Science Fanart.

LD: Everybody pose.

[Saxophone Music]

[Everyone is laughing]

MG: Please put our faces on someone's testicles.

NJ: Anyone. Anyone will do.

MG: Your choice.


Hank: We hope you enjoyed this snippet of Holy Fucking Science. If you would like more you can see the full episode at http://youtube.com/holyfuckingscience. That's right, Holy Fucking Science is a podcast about science that is not for children. It contains mild violence, swearing, alcohol consumption, and sometimes the science isn't super vetted so don't share it in the classroom. For more Holy Fucking Science
we are on Youtube, Soundcloud, iTunes, and Google Play Music, also other places where you might be able to find podcasts. Thank you for watching.


[End Credits Music]