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Last sync:2024-07-17 01:00
In which John finishes the previous game against Sheffield Wednesday.

Follow us on Twitter: @SwindonSwoodily
Uh, yeah. We did it again. Um, yeah. It turns out that was also a game in the Capital One Cup and the game is not over so it's not going to be a nil-nil draw, it's going to be something else. You're watching this two days later but I'm playing it, like, one minute later and I'm a little bit embarrassed to, for the second consecutive time, not have known I was playing... Come on! Oh! Leroy Williamson! Not to have known that I was playing in a knockout competition. I thought this was a League One game. I mean, Sheffield Wednesday doesn't seem like a team that would be in the fourth round of the F.A., of the Capital One Cup, or third round. Wherever... Where are we? Oh God. Third round of the Capital One Cup? I think we're in the third round.

Anyway, very proud of the Swoodilypoopers for once again getting a draw in the game and now hopefully we won't have to go to penalties. We just gotta find a way to score. Get it to Leroy Williamson, he's a finisher! He's... No! It was my fault. I had him on his back foot. Oh, and then... Did you see what I, where John Green is right now? This is craziness. OK. I'm sorry, I'm very discombobulated because I thought that the game was over and I was going to get to go home to my family and to my extremely pregnant wife but instead I have to c... Ah. Count on Green Eggs and Foderingham to make a big save. OK. It's 105 minutes until... So we're near the end of the first period of extra time. There we go, that's good. Why don't you just go... We call him Bob, we call... Oh, he went out of bounds. That's gonna be the end of the first half of extra time. OK, we really, we need to find a goal here. OK.

I'm gonna make some substitutions, right? I think. Because I bet there's some people who are tired and maybe... Oh, and apparently Wordsworth is injured so that's good to know, thanks for letting me know, computer. I'm going to bring in Merrick Maric for Wordsworth and then I'm going to put Andy Rooney out on the wing where Mionel Richie is, although he is a great, Mionel Richie is pret... Maybe I'll put him where Bostock is, yeah, because Mionel Richie is a very good penalty taker or is he not? Didn't he just miss his last penalty, Meredith? He did. Thank you for reminding me. OK, so we're gonna put, we're gonna do this and then we're gonna put Bostock back in the game because Bostock is a big, mean finisher.

Alright, so we are in the best possible position if we have to go to penalties but it doesn't matter because we are not going to penalties. Dramatic 119th minute winner just like last time. We can do this. Come on boys! Come on! I'm not feeling it, I'm not hearing it from you. Come on! Merrick Maric wants it. I mean, obvi-we've been playing with ten men for God knows how long because of the injury to the great 19th century poet William Wordsworth. Come on! Get the ball. Get the ball. We can't win without the ball. There you go. There you go. Andy Rooney, Andy Rooney, fresh legs Andy Rooney. Andy Rooney, fresh legs! Apparently still not fast. Andy Rooney! Oh, there's no give up in this kid. Andy Rooney's gonna make the goal happen. Oh no! We're better than that!

That's good. That's OK. Is that Andy Rooney again? Oh, this kid is so fast right now. Oh, break his ankles. Yes! No! Andy Rooney, get the shot off! Not fast enough. I should have passed. 112 minutes. OK we only have a couple... We can do this, we can do this, we can do this, we can do this, we can do this, we can do this. I really want to win the Capital One Cup. Wouldn't it be dramatic if I won it only, with only draws that go into... Oh God. Only draws that go into extra time. There's a good sta... There's a great tackle. There's Merrick Maric. Merrick Maric. He's got fresh legs. Oh, Merrick Maric, breaking into the inside. Merrick Maric, Merrick Maric! Merrick...! Get the ball, Leroy Williamson! Oh! Get in there! Yes! Leroy Williamson! No! Oh! Sorry Meredith, sorry. I know that's not good, that can't be a good feeling for your ears. I'm sorry to anyone who's wearing head... Oh no! Oh no! Hrrr! Yagabagabagachigabachiburburbur!

Oh! Penalties. Someone's probably... I'm so glad there's not a GIF for audio, you know, 'cause then it could just be a loop of me doing that over and over again, it would drive people mad. Yeah, you can put it in the highlights. Oh, there's disappointment. Hey look, there's two gingers in that shot and that shows me that we can win. This is a winnable... We're gonna win. We're gonna win! We must win.

We had nine shots on goal in that game and scored zero goals. It's frustrating. That was not a great penalty by Merrick Maric. Oh! Just good enough. Just good enough. OK, Green Eggs and Foderingham, Green Eggs and Foderingham. Doh! That's the direction I was gonna go but then he did that run up thing.

Andy Rooney. Andy Rooney. Andy Rooney. Andy Rooney. It's a pretty good penalty. No! Get in! Oh! Saved by his foot. Green Eggs and Foderingham. Green Eggs and Foderingham. Come on, you can do this, baby. Shnoog! It's two to one. This is a problem.

"We call him Bob,
we call him Bob,
He's Väyrynen
But we call him Bob"

Alright, we need a save here. We need a big time save. I think he's going right. He went left but he hit the post! Alright, it's all tied up.

"Leroy Willi..." Sing it with me people. "Leroy Williamson scores occasionally" Yes! Yes! Oh, you're a finisher! I love everything about you, sir. I need a save here, need a save here. Yes! Oh! Green Eggs and Foderingham! He's our ensign! Ensign Wesley Crusher Foderingham! Sorry, I just broke the mic 'cause I got so excited. Alright.

Alright, big moment here. It's... Who else would you want in this situation. Other John Green who's taken our team to glory on so many occasions. Doh!

"He's big, he's tough
He has a brilliant puff
Other John Green, Other John Green.
He's big, he's tough
He has a brilliant puff
Other John Green, Other John Green!"

We're going to the next round of the Capital One Cup. Next time I will try to notice when we are playing in it. Thanks for watching, best wishes.