Good morning John, it is Song Wednesday! (plays incorrect chord) That's not a chord! (plays correct chord) That's the chord! This song's about my outfit.

I remember when I was a young man
My mama took me to the store
And I was scared out of my mind
As I stared at that dressing room door

I was like: "What if the pants are
too bright, too dark, too baggy, too tight,
too big, wrong cut or too light
Mom was like: "Just be yourself, son
Whatever you choose will be right"

Well, it's like she knew my very soul
'Cause the pants I bought that day would change my life
I left that store with a uniform
That I was wearing when I met my wife
And at my first punk-rock show
And when I took my touched my first boob
And the first time I read Thoreau

I did it all in my t-shirt and jeans
That's right, it doesn't mean anything
People who know me know
That I try not to say too much just with my clothes
And if you wanna get to know me, man
We're gonna have to talk
So that you can find out who I am

Well, jeans are pretty great
They're durable and comfortable
They're pants made out of plants
So it's hard to argue they're unethical
And I sure can say a little or a lot
I'm a fan of unironic images of things I like
Like giraffes or my YouTube friends or pants
Or chickens, Jesus, nerds or bikes
But if you really wanna know what I love
most about this wardrobe is that
It tells you very little about what lies beneath these clothes
Just by looking at me
You would never know if I'm a
Thousandaire or a billionaire
I wanna tell you with my mouth
Not with the clothes I wear

I think it's odd how when we rebel
We put on uniforms
Like eyeliner or fancy pants
That come factory pre-torn
It's easy to say
That a guy must be a certain way
Just because he dresses offbeat
And a subcultural shortcut
Might be what he's goin' for
But it's always gonna be incomplete
Yeah, we're never gonna know what that means
Which is why I wear

T-shirt and jeans
That's right, it doesn't mean anything
People who know me know
That I try not to say too much just with my clothes
And if you wanna get to know me, man
We're gonna have to talk
So that you can find out who I am
yeah, we're gonna have to talk
So that you can find out who I am
Oh, we're gonna have to talk
So that you can find out who I am

John, thanks for, uh, encouraging me to make this a song video today. It's been a long time since I've just sat down and played my guitar for you all, and sometimes I feel like I need to do more fancy stuff like big music videos or something, but, you know, I don't always need to do that. Thank you to my friend Jesslyn for coming to my rescue when I got stuck inside of those shirts. I thought I could just take them off the way I put them on, but then... no.

Sometimes there will be nerdfighters who aren't aware that I make music or who think that I should do music on other channels, but I'm going to do music here when I feel like it, um, and if you didn't know I do make music. This is my most recent album, it's called Ellen Hardcastle. That song that I just played isn't on it 'cause I just wrote that song. This is for sale, there's a link below.

John, thanks for presenting the annual report of the Bank of Nerdfighteria so eloquently. It's great to have the awesome summarized, uh, let's keep it up. I'll see you on Wednesday.

[Assassin's Creed figurine appears from the bottom of the frame]
Guess who's coming to hankgames tomorrow? That's right, stabby stab! Stab stab stab!