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Hello and greetings from beautiful Indianapolis, where I am, for once, in the whole crazy process of making this, uh, movie, that I didn't make but I have been doing a lot to, uh, promote, so I should get some points for that at least. Umm, The Fault in Our Stars the movie adaptation of my book comes out in umm, very soon. Like, apparently it comes out the day after tomorrow in the United States. I know some people in Europe it comes out a little later and I apologize you guys, I am very sorry about that. Urr, I'm not even totally sure that I'm live because I can't see you. There's some Dutch people that urr urr urr urr I can't see you but I can see me which counts for something in this world. Maybe I'm just extremely, extremely laggy. I'm a bit of a lagger as a person. There I am!

(0:56) Right so the movie umm, the movie comes out the day after tomorrow and I'm very tired. I haven't slept very much in the last like two and a half months. But I'm also very excited and I'm so ready for you guys to see this movie. I hope that you like it. I hope... The reviews have been good so far, I thinks it's like 80% fresh on Rotten Hold on, I'm looking at an update every hour, not that I'm obsessive, um, taha. It's 80% fresh on, and frankly the negative reviews have been a little bit stupid in my opinion.

(1:26) Some people, uhh, some people seem to just be afraid of emotion, like, the existence of it, or think that it's not great or something.

(1:35) But anyway, the reviews have been very, very good, I shouldn't focus on those, I should focus on like Vanity Fair and The Hollywood Reporter and The Village Voice, all of which have been very positive. Umm, and uh, the U.S., uh, Us Weekly, U.S. Weekly? Use Weekly? Anyway, they, they, they gave it like 3 and a half out of 4 stars. Very positive.

(1:55) Also, the people who saw the movie at the premiere seemed to like it, umm, although, who knows, maybe they were just telling me that. It's very difficult to tell.

(2:01) So today, in today's live show I wanna answer some of your questions, um, about my book. Uh, you can use the hashtag... I wanna, I'm just gonna, we're just gonna do it on Twitter. If you just use the hashtag, umm, TFIOS, I guess, hashtag T F I O S, and then I'll just follow that hashtag. Is that, I dunno if that's a good way to do a thing or not. But that's what we're gonna do, cos I dunno, I'm not very good at Twitter.

(2:23) Umm, yeah so just, just ask questions with, uh, T F I O S, uh, as the hashtag on Twitter. I'm sorry I can't answer questions on the Google live chat but it's streamed so fast it's like it breaks my brain. Plus, as I might have stated already, I'm a smidge tired.

(2:39) I wanna answer your questions, I wanna talk to you a little bit about the book. Umm, the whole process of creating the movie and, and mostly just like say thanks to everybody, um, uh, who's been part of this, uh, with me. From the people who made the movie ... I'm too bouncy, I'm gonna move this to a chair so that it stops bouncing 'cause I feel like I'm making you guys a little nauseated. Um, now I have to move the Wimbly Womblys microphone, everything is having to move. But let's just see if that works.

(3:03) So, umm, before I take your questions though, no see it's not working at all. There we go! Yeah that's better. Hold on... mmm ... urgh! Like three week old coke Zero that I thought was my Coke Zero! Urgh! Urgh, urgh! Yeurgh!

(3:23) Tell you what, it's only when you take the bubbles out of soda that you realize how intensely disgusting it is. Ahhh. Much better. Anyway, today's video is brought to you by our friends at Coke Zero. Coke Zero: tastes really, really gross without bubbles. Um. Just kidding! We don't do sponsorships or any of that stuff.

(3:43) I recently, um, I'm not gonna say - name any names, but I recently had to turn down the chance to drive a very nice car for a year, because we don't do paid like, product placements or whatever. I know. They didn't even, I - all I had to do was like, tweet about it twice, but the point is we don't do it, and it's a rule, and I have to keep the rules or my brother will stop loving me! So. Pretty simple.

(4:10) So yeah, ask your questions on the twitter with the hashtag T F I O S and I'll try to answer some of them. But first I wanna say a couple things about the movie. Um. The first is, the movie, The Fault in our Stars movie, it comes out tomorrow, if you're lucky enough to live in the United States and see it at the Night Before our Stars screening if you get tickets in the dooblydoo, at

(4:29) Basically it's several hundred theaters around the United States, um, you get to watch, you get a poster and a wristband, and then you get to watch the movie, you get to be the first people to watch the movie, 'cause you're seeing it on Thursday night, and then after the movie ends, there will be a live show that will be like, somehow broadcast into your cinema on your gigantic screen. Uh, so you can continue eating popcorn and drinking delicious Coke Zero, but make sure that it has bubbles in it!

(4:55) And um, and you will see a live show, you will be the only people, uh, aside from other people in theaters, to see a live show that will feature uh, myself, Nat Wolff who plays Isaac in the movie, Shailene and Ansel who play Hazel and Gus, Josh Boone, the director of the movie and Wyck Godfrey the producer, as well as Birdy! uh, who will be performing a song from the soundtrack.

(5:15) Birdy is so great, I got to meet her, uh, a couple days ago, three days ago, seven days ago? Six months ago? Anyway, I got to meet her recently, she was just lovely. Um, she said lovely things about the book and um, obviously, I, er, if you, if you, for those few of you who might have seen the movie at the premiere, or whatever, or when you see the movie tomorrow, er, or Friday, she gives this... oh man, she sings this song that just. absolutely. drips you, rips you apart. Um, called uh, Not About Angels, that is just boom! clap! That's a different song in the soundtrack. Also excellent though!

(5:55) Anyway, um, yeah! Order your tickets to the Night Before our Stars. I guess, I guess The Fault in our Stars is already like the best- I don't know, it's doing very well. Almost- a lot of the theaters are sold out, which is really cool, so thank you guys, everyone who's going, I hope that you have fun. I hope you enjoy the live show. We'll try to do a good job, a better job than I am doing here in this live show.

(6:16) The second thing I wanna say about the movie is that, um, here on the eve of it, this is probably the last time I'm gonna get to talk about it, um, for reasons that I'll get into later, like, or at least before it comes out, before people start to see it, um. Like, I remember the day before the book came out, January 9th 2012, and it was just, uh, I felt pure terror. Um. I was completely overwhelmed and no one had really read the book, maybe a couple hundred people at the most, around the world, and I just was so scared, so scared that people were gonna think that, um, that I hadn't done the story justice, that I'd been unfair to, I don't know, people living with cancer or, people, you know, unfair to Anne Frank and the Anne Frank House or, that I'd be unfair - you know, just really, really worried.

(7:09) Response has been so generous! Um, from people living with cancer, I mean, from people generally obviously, um, but from people living with cancer. And I have to say, from the Anne Frank House! I don't know if you guys know this, but The Fault in our Stars is the first movie ever to be filmed inside the Anne Frank House! And they let that happen because they liked that scene in the book. Which is pretty cool of them! So thank you. I was really honored by that. Obviously they don't like, have a monopoly on Anne's life and legacy but their opinion certainly matters a lot to me, so I thought that was really amazing.

(7:40) Um, anyway! I was just really scared when the movie- when the book came out, and really, the fact that I'm not scared today - I mean, I'm anxious, mostly tired, actually. Um, but I mean, I'm always anxious. But the fact that I'm not scared today even after all of this uh, media attention and hype and everything, is not a testament to my like, improved mental health at all, but rather a testament to like, um, the generosity and kindness that the readers of the book um, and nerdfighteria have shown me um, over the last couple months.

(8:10) I really, um, I know that this stuff is supposed to be fun, and a lot of it has been fun, to be clear, but it's also been extremely overwhelming. You know, I get freaked out by being on TV, I get freaked out by being in crowds and I've had to do that stuff almost every day for the last um, few months. And you know, lots of, outside attention.

(8:31) I really, I spent an inordinate amount of time worrying about the New Yorker profile. That's a really big deal to me, that's my favorite magazine and I have to thank Margaret Talbot of the New Yorker for writing such a thoughtful and well-researched story that, and it was um, when it was, when it critiqued me, it critiqued me fairly and um, and was very kind overall about my work, and I appreciate that a lot.

(8:55) But anyway. Where I usually, if this had been 2012, um, I would have not gotten through this. Um, but I have, because I felt very supported and lifted up by everybody, and I feel like the book has been supported and lifted up by this process and that is why the movie is so good, or at least I think the movie is so good. It's because uh, we were all afraid of the fans of the book. We knew that the book mattered to people, um, and that like, that kind of saved the book, I think. It saved the book as it became a movie. The fact that it mattered to you guys, um, that you cared about Hazel and Gus as much as I did. Um, it meant that it wasn't just one voice advocating for the book, but millions of them. So thank you, I hope you like the movie.

(9:46) Um. I'm gonna answer some of your questions shortly.And maybe I'll read you poetry.I like to read poems in these live chats. You can also hear me read poems on CrashCourse, where we were just talking about Tony Morrison's "Beloved". What a book. What a freaking book. Um. You can go to if you want to um hear me uh talk to you about critical reading and world history and stuff. But uh we just talked about Tony Morrison's CrashCourse and then we're going to do an episode on the poetry of Langston Hughes and then an episode on the poetry of Sylvia Plath.

(10:15) Sylvia Plath, in my opinion, underrated because I think a lot of um a lot of literary critics um and adults generally kind of dismiss things that teens like whether it's movies or books or whatever. Sylvia Plath is really good for, I was rereading a bunch of her poetry in preparation for doing this um this thing. And it, it all really holds up for me and I think I think what I find so fascinating about it is that it is completely unironic in its emotion. Like it it really does wear its heart on its sleeve and sometimes i think to us that can seem a little bit sentimental or a little bit kind of sh. Just as a grown up it makes me feel a little uncomfortable like it makes me want to do that thing where I squeeze my shoulders together and try to hide my head into my turtle shell but um but man its good and its real. And that is that is how you feel and it reflects something about the reality of like feeling an  experience and I thought was I guess I had kind of forgotten about or something so I was pretty impressed with it.

(11:12) So I'm going to answer some questions that have the hashtag TFIOS and um "Did you cry while writing The Fault in Our Stars?" XXX from the Netherlands. I don't know given, in the Netherlands I don't know what 'XXX' means because I have been there and every time I saw 'XXX' it was shenanigans. Um did I cry? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I cried everyday for months when I was working on the book. I mean you know the book was I mean a lot of a lot of The Fault in Our Stars was written in the wake of my friend Esther's death um and I was angry and sad um and just generally grief stricken and also angry at the universe that it is the kind of place where young people like Esther um can suffer and die for no observable or discernible reason. Um and I mean in some ways the book was uh it wasn't a break from it or a way through it for me. Um it was a way into it, does that make sense? Like, I needed to I needed to grieve and I needed to feel sad and I needed to feel angry and it was a way into those feelings. So a lot of mornings I would just go to Starbucks at like 7:30 in the morning and open up my computer and cry for four hours then close my computer and leave. I'm sure that the people at Starbucks thought that I was a very strange person indeed but um yeah I cried a lot writing the story. I also became very sick and eventually had to get my gal bladder removed. That's what turned out to be the problem. But yeah my main memories of writing The Fault in Our Stars are being very sad and quite ill and losing like 35 pounds. Don't worry I put them back on. Um yeah you know and like. no I wont go there.

(13:06) Taylor asks "will there be a sequel?" No. Probably not. I mean, you never know. Maybe like, sometimes like, an author runs out of money, gets a little desperate, toward the end of their career, like throws out a sequel, but no, I hope not. I would not be proud of myself if I wrote a sequel. 'Cause to me it's not a book that needs a sequel or would benefit from one. I love series, I love reading series, I love reading sequels, I love stories that go on and on like I talk about in the Max Mayhem series in TFIOS, but no, no, no. No. (pause) No, it would make Fox too happy. I love you Fox! But it would make you too happy.

(13:48) Um. So yeah, you ask questions, just ask questions with the hashtag TFIOS on twitter and I will answer them. Uh, Catherine says "whats- what's in the movie that's not in the book?" That's a good question! So you've actually seen in a preview, you see a little bit of - a bit of stuff that's in the movie that's not in the book, there's a- uh, Gus has a great, a great monologue in the egg scene that's not in the book, but I would have put it there if- I like it! The ending of the movie is much, kind of, it's a much straighter line. And much- um, I don't wanna say better because that demeans my book and I don't wanna do that. It's like, much cleaner. If I'd thought of it when I was writing the book, I would have done it. Uh, so that was very smart of Scott and Mike, the screenwriters. But there's a lot- I mean the whole- obviously, it's a very different work of- it's very different work. It's inherently different to change something from text into um, into images and sounds. Um, so I- there is- you know, I think it's one of the most faithful adaptations of a book I've ever seen. Like, I think it captures the tone of the movie- of the book quite well. And um, the story and everything. You know, some stuff is lost, some stuff is added, because you're trying to tell um, you're trying to tell a story visually. And that's inherently different. And I embrace that. I'd much rather have a movie that's a good movie than a movie that's a faithful adaptation, but I think in the case of The Fault in our Stars, they really did both.

(15:15) Have I ever owned a goldfish? asks Zach. Yes! Briefly, on a couple of occasions. Not the best.. pet owner. Like, if you were reincarnated as a goldfish, you're probably going to want to be owned by er-someone other than myself, particularly childhood me. Just wasn't like a great.. nurturer. Um.. But I have owned a couple of goldfish over the years. I had a very long-term relationship with a catfish um, when I was in uh, fourth and fifth grade, and that went very well. Then er, then she, she eventually became deceased. Uh, yeah. So.

(15:53) "Have you ever thought that TFIOS would not reach the success that it's having right now?" asks Hannah. Yes! I never imagined that it WOULD reach the success that it's having right now. I mean, this is crazy. I- yeah, I mean this is just, it's very difficult to get your head around. Like, I'm so grateful to um, well I guess to everybody for their attention to uh, the book and um, and for sharing it. I, I, I just never thought it would be the kind of book that people wanna share, but I guess it has been. So. Sometimes you get lucky, and I, I don't know. I have no explanation for this really, but I'm grateful for it, and I'm, yeah, I don't know. Does that make sense? That all I can say is "I don't know?"

(16:42) Um. Porvani asks "what is your advice for teen writers? And did you ever get writers block?" Well yes I have- I don't know if I'd call it writers block exactly, but I certainly go through long periods of time where I don't write much and find it difficult to write well. I don't know what to do about that, but good luck with it. Um, I'm answering questions on twitter with the hashtag T F I O S in them.

(17:06) Um. As for my advice for teen writers, the first thing I would say is-I mean, obviously take my advice with a grain of salt because I'm, you know, I'm not an expert or anything and um, I might be wrong. I'm wrong about a lot of stuff. I'm often wrong. I often change my opinion later when uh, better, better evidence is presented to me, but I wouldn't worry too much about publishing right now. I wouldn't worry very much about publishing as a teenager. I would worry about writing. I wouldn't get mad at yourself if you're not finishing stuff, I wouldn't get mad at yourself if you find that, you know, structurally things aren't holding together. I would worry about writing, and I would worry about reading. Really focus on that stuff instead of focusing on, on trying to see writing as a business this early, um, in your writing life. It's such a, it's a pleasure and a precious one, to write without those thoughts. To write from a place of pure joy and desire, and I understand of course you want readers, I want readers too and I've always wanted readers and I can relate to that. But the, write for your friends, write for your family.

(18:18) And then the second thing I would say is read a lot. Read critically, read across genres, read fearlessly, read um, old stories and new stories and um, read books that you don't think you'll like. I'm found that really helpful. And I think it's good to learn, I think it's the best apprenticeship we have, you know? Like, I like reading Edwardian romances and I like reading sci-fi novels and I like reading non-fiction, I like reading poetry, and it's a wonderful apprenticeship still, for me to read, because it teaches me how people have used text to create feelings and ideas and stories inside other people's heads for you know, hundreds and hundreds of years, I guess for millennia. So um, yeah! I'm a big believer in reading, reading critically and thoughtfully and lots.

(19:13) Tia Poge asks "what has been the greatest expression of enthusiasm/fangirling that you've witnessed from a fan?" Um, well some of you may know that I'm a little bit of an anxious person in real life,and a little bit uh, I mean, I spend all my time, most of my time by myself in my basement writing or editing videos, so. I'm er, I don't get a lot of sunlight. I don't get exposed to people very often except for people who are extremely, extremely close to me. So I can be a little nervous when I interact with, well, with any other humans really. But especially those who know who I am. That said, if you ever see me in Target or whatever, please feel free to come up and say hi. I'm always happy to do that, but don't come to my house! Don't come to my house. It's not cool. It's not cool. I have kids. It's weird for them, it's weird for me, don't come to my house. Um, don't stand outside my house and take pictures, that freaks me out. But the greatest expression of enthusiasm/fangirling that I have ever witnessed from a fan.. er... was a young woman who saw me in Wholefoods, across the aisle. And she screamed! She screamed very loudly. And she seemed to me to be looking past me, so of course I turned around because I thought that there was someone or something very dramatic happening behind me, like had a person gotten into a fight with a live lobster? Was there some kind of fire or emergency? And whilst I was turned around, she ran to me and she kept screaming louder and louder and I was like "what is it? I cannot see what is so alarming!" and then I realized that it was me. That I was the panicky emergency. And I was like "oh no!" I am the fire! I am the person getting in a fight with a lobster!" That was the weirdest one for me.

(21:19) Um. *hums* "How would you respond to someone who loves the book but worried the movie adaptation changing their mental image of the characters?" Yeah, I don't know, I am also worried about that. Like, one of the great pleasures of reading a book that isn't and won't ever be a movie is that the characters are kind of yours and yours alone for- you know, and there's something very magical about that. They belong to you in a way that characters in a movie can't belong to you because they're much more communal, I feel like. As readers, we kind of co-create a novel. We imagine- we imagine it into reality, and we use the words to imagine the characters and the narrative and the ideas of the book. Um, whereas with movies, it's- you know, we still have to do some work, but the images and the music are so powerful to us, I think that we're more passive enjoyers of the story than active co-creators of it.

(22:15) Um, yeah! I don't know. Um, I do think movies change our relationship with books, but I also think that good movies, um, and I think, I hope and think that The Fault in our Stars is a good movie (or else I wouldn't be talking about it!) um, as I talked about in my video yesterday, but um, you know, I think a good- good movies stand in their own way and they stand separate from the- I mean, the amazing thing to me, you know, yes, it's hard now to picture Harry Potter as anyone other than Daniel Radcliffe, but the Harry Potter books are still the Harry Potter books. The book is still the book. The book will always be the book. The book stands on its own. The movie has to be able to stand on its own.

(22:56) Yeah, so I guess that's what I would say but it is difficult! By the way I'm answering questions over at the er- hashtag TFIOS on twitter, you can use the hashtag T F I O S on twitter. Ask me a question and I will endeavour to answer it as best I can.

(23:12) Um. "Does Shai look like Hazel as you imagined her?" Um, asks Nora, who loves Megan and Liz. Um, yeah! Yeah. Er, she does. But I should add that I don't picture faces to characters really when I write about them. I don't think about them that way and I don't think of- usually, I mean except in so far as, you know Hazel's somewhat puffy cheeks relative to her size because of the steroids that she's on, um, and she- obviously, the cannula, the haircut, um, her eyes, things like that, I imagined vividly. I didn't imagine vividly like, her cheekbones or, you know, what kind of chin she has. Um, but yes, she does. I mean, she does look like- I mean, at this point it's hard for me to see them separately because I think of- I mean, I've seen the movie like ten or eleven times now, so I think um, Shailene playing Hazel- it works for me. I think that she did a beautiful job, so.

(24:18) "Is Hank as excited for the movie premiering to the public as you are?" I dunno, he's pretty excited, he was really happy about it, I mean, he enjoyed watching the movie a lot and he really liked the movie a lot and it was great to watch it with him. Um, he laughed a lot and cried a lot and I could hardly watch the movie because I was so busy just staring at him and being like 'Does he like it? Does he like it? Does he like it?' and he did! I could tell that he liked it. He liked it enough that he didn't even notice that I was staring at him for 2 hours and 5 minutes. Um, I think Hank is excited; I think Hank and I are both excited to like have this crazy, once-in-a-lifetime experience and then go back to being like regular nerdfighters, like my video on Tuesday isn't gonna be all like 'Oh a movie! It's craaaazy!'. Although I hope the movie does really well, my video on Tuesday, which I'm gonna film in advance of Tuesday because I'm going on vacation with my family someplace where I have no internet where I can hopefully just like hang out with my kids and just stare at a wall for a few days. Um, but yeah the um video should be up- Behind the Beautiful Forevers and we're just gonna resume like nerdfighter club and and try as hard as possible to go uh back to uh real life. Um, which you know, I think is probably not quite possible, but uh we're just gonna do our best. 

(25:26) Ummm.... "Which of your books do you think is least likely to get a film?" Well, that's an interesting question. I mean, I would love to see a movie of "Will Grayson, Will Grayson". It seems like that's hard to do, though. I mean, I-I-I guess the answer is Katherines because I'm very unlikely to sell the rights to anyone so no one will be able to make a movie from it. Um, that's because you know, we're working on Paper Towns now, which I'm really excited about, you know, I really like the people that I worked with on The Fault in Our Stars. I take it, I think they did a very good job, they made a very good movie um, I think they included me in every aspect of the process, I was welcomed um, into the conversation in every aspect of the process, and that's very important to me. Uhhhh, I would not want to work with people who would not want a part like that, and so if we're gonna make another movie out of one of my books I want it to be another really positive experience where I can bring the Nerdfighter community along for the whole ride, and where there isn't all these people telling me all these things I can't do and like trying to control my life on the internet because that's not, that's not fun for me. And my life on the internet is kind of my life, I mean at least my professional life, so it's really important to me too.

(26:41) So um, yeah! So I'm not gonna sell the movie rights to Katherines because people are already making Paper Towns - I don't own the rights to Looking for Alaska, they're owned by Paramount so it's not my decision - they can make a movie if they want to and um, and if they do I hope it's good, but it's not my decision. Um, and then Will Grayson, Will Grayson, I'd love to see a movie of that, that some day, I think it would be great fun and um, it could be a really cool, useful movie but it still seems a little... like, Hollywood isn't quite ready for that, from what I can tell.

(27:13) Um... "What was the first day on set like?" asks Hayley. It was like a lot of crying by me! Um, "Do you have any regrets from the creation of the TFIOS movie adaptation?" asks Amy. No! I really don't. I mean, I get - the only thing that I would ever consider regretting Amy, is that like, uh, it's... The book is really special to a lot of people and uh, I think for a long time they kind of felt like it was their thing. Um, and that's really cool and valuable and wonderful, and now of course many many many more people are reading that, and I think there's a lot of people who are like "woah, slow down, like, that's cool now? This is now like a big thing? That's weird." and um, I feel - you know, I don't want people to feel like their thing has - something really valuable to them has lost value because it's become more popular or somehow become diluted because- or watered down because it's become um, sort of this, this thing, you know, this, this big thing in the world that - TV commercials talk about, and the Today show talks about, and stuff.

(28:22) Um, but I also can't regret that because there are lots and lots of people for whom, who are finding this story now for whom it's important, um, that wouldn't have found it without those TV commercials and without the Today show, and without the movie. So, um, I understand that feeling, I remember that feeling, um, a lot when I was in high school and college. Especially after this book that I really loved called Infinite Jest became wildly popular, um, I read it a couple of weeks, well, started it a couple of weeks after it came out. Um, I really felt like it was mine. Um, like I had discovered it somehow. I mean I read a review of it in Time Magazine so I didn't discover it, but I felt like I had! And then suddenly, you know, it felt like everyone was reading it, and there was something kind of, um, weird about that for me. That said, um, I can't regret that so many people read Infinite Jest. Wait a second, am I comparing Fault in our Stars to Infinite Jest?! Obviously Infinite Jest is much better than The Fault in our Stars, just to be totally clear about that. I don't mean to like, compare them quality- I mean compared experience, it's the only experience I have that maybe could be an empathetic experience just to be totally clear.

(29:32) I can just see the - one of the weird things in my life right now is that if I say stuff, like in a live show or in a video or on Tumblr, like, sometimes like, Entertainment Weekly will write a report on it, as if I - as if I were saying it to Entertainment Weekly. Um, so yeah, just to be clear, Entertainment Weekly, I love you guys by the way, thank you for that great cover story about The Fault in our Stars in which you called it the best romance story of the decade. That was amazing, thank you. That was amazing. But I did not just compare myself to David Foster Wallace. Okay!

(30:04) "How do you think the box office will do? Do you have large expectations?" asks Aaron. UGH! Well I'll tell you what Aaron, this is not something that I'm not thinking about as I said in yesterday's video- just to be totally clear: I am not getting paid for the movie, I don't get paid a percentage of the movie, like, the ticket sales or whatever, I don't, if the movie does 4 dollars at the box office I will make just as much money as if the movie does like, 800 million dollars at the box office; that would be cool. Let's try for 800 million dollars.

Um, but, I really do want it to do well for a lot of reasons:

(30:38) 1. um, you know, I think it's a, I really think it's a good, sensitive, complex portrayal of young people living with disabilities which I haven't seen a lot in Hollywood and I would like to see a lot more.

(30:55) Um 2. I like the movie, I like the people who made it, I think they did a good job.

(31:00) 3. I think it hopefully makes a statement that you can adapt, young adult novels, or any novel really, inexpensively and if you do it faithfully, and if you do it with an eye toward the audience of the story it can work.

(31:18) And 4. I don't wanna be, y'know I really don't like to define myself in opposition to other things, or my work in opposition to other work. I don't like that.

(31:30) You remember- those of you who are long-time nerdfighters may remember that back in like 2007, we would call ourselves Nerdfighters and we would call popular people Decepticons, like we were kind of defining ourselves as nerds against, the popular people. And that started to feel really weird because it just seemed like we were trying to do what traditionally popular people had done to us, to them. That's not that cool. That doesn't accomplish anything really.

(32:02) Um, what's really cool to me is the idea of having an identity that isn't defined in opposition to something else. It's not defined by what you hate, or by who you aren't, or by who your enemy is. But by what you are and what you do together and what projects, what your shared values are, what projects you do together. Like that's cool to me, that gets me excited and that's what Nerdfighteria has become and that's what a Nerdfighter, at least to me, that's what a Nerdfighter is. Um, that's what this community is about , it's not about be opposed to something it's about being, Um, y'know being aligned with something, it's about being a part of something.

(32:39) Err, that noted...I would really like to, I, I , y'know, I don't think we have a real chance, but i think it would be really cool to beat the Tom Cruise movie, that's coming out this weekend, I think it would be cool to win, the weekend box office, It would be amazing actually. Because, y'know The Fault in our Stars cost 12 million dollars to make, it's a tiny tiny movie from a Hollywood perspective. And that Tom Cruise movie cost like 185 million dollars to make and, I think it would be a really great statement if we won.

(33:17) That Tom Cruise movie looks great and I, I have nothing against it, like it's getting good reviews, it looks really cool. But um, I think it would be great if a 12 million dollar movie won the box office weekend during summer, I think that would be a big thing to say to Hollywood. That would make me happy. Like I said I wouldn't get paid any more but like it would be cool.

(33:40) So yeah, I do kind of, I'm not gonna lie, I do kind of pay attention. Uuum, I hope it does okay.

(33:51) Anyway please see it, please see it, if you don't go to The Night Before Our Stars. Thursday night, Night Before Our Stars, some tickets still available in some theaters, lots are sold out but there are still some theaters where you can watch it. But if you don't go to The Night Before Our Stars and you do see the movie. I'd love it if you saw it before Sunday. Ideally Friday.

(34:08) It's amazing how much opening weekend matters to a movie. Like, um, matters to the future of the movie, like whether, what kind of life it has after the first three days. Like a book is nothing like that really, like books get time to grow, and to find their audience, and to be shared, an, um, movies really don't like, word of mouth in the world of movies means like did people who saw it on Friday tell their friends to go on Saturday. Um it doesn't mean, y'know did people who go on Friday tell their friends to go next weekend, it's really weird. Uh, movies in general, weird business. I like books. I like writing books. But, yeah, please see the movie opening weekend if you can.

(34:51) Uum, "do you wanna write An Imperial Affliction?" asks ATL Bronte. I don't, no, I don't I think, I think it's a cool idea and I would love for an Imperial Affliction to exist but I also think there's something magical about books that don't exist. Like, I like writing books within books, I like stories with stories within stories and plays within plays because there's a kind of perfection, awe-inspiring perfection to things that don't exist, that there can never be to things that do exist.

(35:21) Uuh, "would you recommend the book or the movie to someone who's never read it?" Well, I mean I'm totally biased, I think you should read the book, but I'm utterly biased. I think the movie holds up really well without the book, most people who are watching the movie like the critics and stuff, they like it and they haven't read the book. It's clear they haven't read the book from their reviews. Um, but yeah, I think they both, I hope that they both could, but I'm obviously gonna recommend the book because you know, I wrote it.

(35:55) Ahhhh. "Do you think books are better than movies?" Yeah! Frankly, but I'm a writer. I think movies are great though. I used to like, I used to be very dismissive of the movies, but I have now come around to them in a big way, not because of The Fault in our Stars, even before this, the last couple of years I started to think very differently about movies and understanding that they have their own language. A sort of visual and aural (a-u-r-a-l) language that's also very valuable and interesting, and um, and there's a kind of literacy to it that you get over time, that uh, I don't know if literacy is the right word- but way of, a way into it, of understanding it, that you get over time, that can lead to really rich experiences with movies.

(36:38) That said, I think a lot of times- I mean, my, I guess, my quarrel is with movies that are kind of mere distraction or mere- just trying to be entertaining, not that there's anything wrong with that, because there isn't! Erm, there's nothing wrong with being distracted, there's nothing wrong with being entertained, as long as you aren't distracted all the time, like, um. Life is difficult and painful and not easy, and uh- and there are times when we need to distract ourselves from it, whether it's by a- movies, or by books or by flappy bird. And um, I don't think there's anything wrong with entertainment for entertainments sake. Um, I do think there's wrong- wrong with entertainment for entertainments sake that pretends to be sophisticated or nuanced cultural commentary, and I feel like that happens too often in movies, but you know, I might be wrong.

(37:34) "If you could pick anyone to replace Shailene and Ansel, would you?" No. Way! No way Amy Louise! Uh, username imjustametaphor, great username by the way. Er, no. No no no no. No. No, no, no, no. I'm so- first off, both Shailene and Ansel are friends of mine, have become friends of mine. There's a new hashtag trending, The Fault in our Starts? Is that a er, a joke? Or is it just a, a er, mispronunciation? I don't know. That's funny. Anyway, The Fault in our Starts is now trending! It's very weird that the idea that a er, very weird to me that a typo could trend on twitter. But whatever! I am flattered. Thank you, fans of Fault in our Starts. (laughs) Oh boy! Erm, I can't remember what your question was. I bet it was great. Maybe Rosianna's listening and she'll Skype it to me.

(38:50) Erm. Yeah. Someone says "how do you feel-", Lauren says "how do you feel about people lauding you as the savior of YA literature?" I think it's ridiculous, to be honest with you. Um. YA literature is not in need of saving, and hasn't been in need of saving in a very long time, and er, if it did need saving, I would not be the person to do it.

(39:16) Um. You know, I think from the outside there's always, from like, a pop culture perspective or a sort of general media perspective, there is always, there can only be one thing, you know? There can only be um, paranormal romance, or there can only be dystopia, or now there can only be The Fault in our Stars, or whatever. But it's not the truth. That isn't the way that the actual world of YA books looks, or has ever looked.

(39:46) I mean, while, you know, while the Twilight books were publishing and wildly, wildly popular and sold tens of millions of copies, I- you know, I was writing An Abundance of Katherines and Paper Towns, and those books were doing quite well. Like, yes, they didn't sell millions of copies or get on a- you know, a cover of Entertainment Weekly, but they were reaching broad audiences.

(40:07) Like, to me, the real story of young adult literature is not actually about whatever the er, the big cultural book of the moment is, the real story of young adult literature is that more than a thousand books are read by at least ten thousand teenagers a year, like, there- that we have incredible breadth, that we have great dystopias and great fantasy, great sci-fi, great mysteries, great romances. Um, and all of that stuff can live together and be in conversation, um, because they all share the same shelf.

(40:37) Like, one of the things I value most about writing, um, or publishing for teenagers, is that my colleagues are not just people who write books that are just like my books. My colleagues are, you know, everyone from Jacqueline Woodson, who writes, you know, beautiful, sometimes books of poetry, sometimes just very lyrical novels, to er, Rainbow Rowell, who writes you know, these wonderful er, wonderful books that are full of love and romance and evocative details, to Maureen Johnson, who you know, writes fantasy, but also romances, also realistic fiction, to you know, Holly Black, who writes uh, everything- er, the Spiderwick Chronicles with Cassandra Claire, um, Scott Westerfeld, to John Barnes who writes hard sci-fi like, all of that stuff, um, is YA. And all of that stuff lives together and gets to be in conversation, and that's really valuable to me.

(41:32) And so when they say like, "oh, this is the savior of YA" or "that is the saviour of YA", particularly when it's about me, um, yeah, I mean it's- it's ridiculous. There's also, there seems to be very little I can do about it though. I try to say that every time I'm interviewed, and it never, it never seems to end up in the story.

(41:49) I will say that I thought Margaret Talbot's article in the New Yorker about my work, which is as much about Nerdfighteria and YouTube stuff, as it as about um, books, um, was really good. and avoided that, uh, that notion that somehow the marketplace is in need of a savior and that I am that person. It's just ridiculous and I don't think- I think like, everyone inside of YA knows that it's not true, it's just somehow very difficult to get people to see a kind of nuanced portrait. Uh, but that's, you know, that's always a challenge.

(42:24) Um. Okay! Oh, I was talking about how I wouldn't replace Shai and Ansel. Yes. I wouldn't. I love Shai and Ansel. They're the best. They're just so good together, they have so much chemistry together and um, it's just, you know. I smile every time I see them together in the movie, but um, I also really like them as people because they have become good friends to me, so, um, yeah! So I would never do it.

(43:04) "Can you come to Greenwood, Indiana and watch with us tomorrow night for um, The Fault in our Stars Night before our Stars?" You can get tickets in the dooblydoo by the way! No. I can't, because I have to be in Atlanta, uh, to do the livestream with Shailene and Ansel and Nat Wolff and Birdy and everybody. that will be broadcast into your theater, in Greenwood. So I can't be in both places at the same time, because unlike Saint Padre Pio, I do not have the ability to bi-locate.

(43:35) Um. "I got my dad to read the book and he loved it. How do you feel about an even older audience loving your books?" Oh, I think it's awesome! Like, I think it's amazing that, that most of the people reading The Fault in our Stars right now are adults. That's so- it's cool. I mean, I still wanna write for and publish for teenagers, uh, for the rest of my career, but I think it's great that um, adults have responded to this book so generously and have found it and loved it and cared about it. Um, yeah. I mean, it's not something that I ever expected, but it's definitely something that I'm very, very grateful for.

(44:04) Um. The Fault in our Stars apparently now has an 81% tomatometer reading! Phew. At er, not that I am obsessively checking, because that would be super weird. But I'm glad that it has gotten a new review, and that review is positive. Is it from anybody- oh, it's from the New York Post! Um. Yeah. Which, is most- two and a half stars. Um. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. I'm gonna read the review. Um. They didn't- the author didn't read it- the author did not read the book. A thoughtful second half. And the author cried, seems a little resentful about having cried, um. Uh. And then there's a very dark ending about how people who die don't have to see the amazing Spiderman 3. Well that's pretty snarky, but thanks for liking my movie! Well, not my movie, I didn't make it. Um. (laughs) Ah.

(45:30) And there's lots of talk- there's a lot of talk about how um, some character, no spoilers, doesn't lose their hair when they undergo chemo, but in fact like, the kind of chemo that character would undergo would not result in the loss of that character's hair. So. You know, like it's not like we didn't talk to oncologists about this. It's not like the producers and directors of the movie were like, you know, making a guess. Lots and lots of chemo these days doesn't result in the loss of one's hair. It depends on the drug and on the way it's administered, but this particular type of chemo would not result in the loss of that character's hair. So. Suck it, New York Post. That said, I'm glad you like the movie!

(46:07) Um, yeah, it's very- I don't know. People have a lot of- when it comes to, I guess it makes sense that, but yeah, I mean, they actually did, I thought, in the movie a much better job of uh, accuracy when it comes to the er, medical realities than I did because, I didn't frankly, like care that much, like I invented the drug Phalanxifor and I made- Isaac's cancer - I mean - I invented Isaac's cancer which is not like technically impossible but, but functionally impossible,like, once in maybe 200 or 500 million people, um, and because I didn't wanna-you know- I wasn't that- I was writing a novel, but movies are very different and I think because they're so visually powerful - but yeah, I mean, I don't know, the kind of chemo - the kind of experimental chemo that that character would be on we were told, would not affect that character's hair at least for the brief time that that character is on it.

(47:02) Okay, moving on! "will there be any new John Green novels in the future" asks Emily, oh Emily, I hope so. I don't really have another job.  So I would like - I mean I guess there's Crash Course, but I don't get paid Crash Course, and there's Vlogbrothers.  I would like - it's a good - I like writing books, and I miss it a lot, um, it's been hard to do it the last few months, because the movie has taken over my life. I mean really ever the filming of the movie, I guess there were a couple months between the filming and when the promotion started where I did get some writing done, but, you know to be honest with you, like, this story's important to me, and it feels very close to me and still, it's kind of been hard to let go of it. But, uhh, I feel like the movie is going to be the moment where I do have to let go of it, because it's going to be- it's not going to be, you know, it already doesn't belong to me, but now it really won't belong to me.

(47:54) Uh. So yeah, I will write another book. I mean, I hope so. I'm trying to write another book! I've been trying for a while. I'm gonna keep trying, I promise. Uh, I hope to make good progress, and be able to share something with you soon.

(48:10) It won't be The Fault in our Stars. Like, this is a once in a lifetime experience, and I know that. And I think that the core readership of my books knows that as well, and I apologize in advance that it's not gonna be The Fault in our Stars, but I am- gonna do my best to make the best- the most best book I can.

(48:31) Um, someone says "I like your polo!" Thanks. Thanks. It's got a lot of stains on it, because I ate lunch very quickly. You know, sometimes you eat nicely, and then sometimes you're just like (gargle noises). And it was like that, just (gargle noises).

(48:45) Ummmm. Uh. Do I think I might write a book set in a different time period? Yeah, I'd love to do that some day! I love- um, I thought Eleanor and Park did such a good job of like, recreating the feel of my childhood, that era. With the music and the comics, um, and the tape player, and how much it meant to you to have your own tape player, and your own batteries and everything. It was really powerful. Um, I'd like to do that, I'm not very good at it though. Like, I'd also like to write fantasy, but I'm so bad at it! Like, I wrote a fantasy story once, and I showed it to some of my friends who write fantasy, and they- you know, they're such great friends, and they all said the same thing to me, which is like.. They were all like "John, I really like you, and I really like your writing, and so I hope that you will not think that this is personal when I say that this. is. awful." And I believe them.

(49:45) Ummmm. Yes. "Will you be in the movie?" No. I won't be in the movie. I will not be in the movie, uh, Kimberley, because... I was in the movie, I played the role of girl's father, it was a vitally important role in the movie, it was really the scene in which the whole movie turned. But they cut my scene.

(50:09) They didn't cut the scene because I was bad in it - I was a great girl's father - I AM a girl's father in real life, so I was truly prepared for the role. I had a deep understanding of the relationship that fathers feel towards their girls, um. I had one line, my line- I'm gonna say it for you now so you can just understand how good an actor I am. My line was "I-I'm so sorry!" Or alternately, "I-I'm so sorry!" see? Nuance! Nuance! It's the key to acting.

(50:40) I ran the line with Nat Wolff, who plays Isaac in the movie, a lot of times, like, he gave me a lot of advice on how to hold my body physically, like, what is girl's father's posture like? What is girl's father thinking in this moment? You know, he's stressed out because he's got a- he's just gotten girl through security at the airport and now he's gotta corral girl to the gate, but she's stopping and she's talking to this young woman who has tubes in her nose, and it's just a big hubbabalu. And girl's father just wants to say I'm sorry and get girl on her way.

(51:13) And I was fantastic! I lit up the screen. Um- and you can in fact see my cameo- you can see this scene, uh, it will be part of the er, the Night Before Our Stars live show after the Thursday night first showing of the movie. So if you go to the link in the dooblydoo, uh, at you can see- er, you can get tickets to the show tomorrow night- oh my God, it's tomorrow night! Oh, my God. Holy snood! Okay! So yes, tomorrow night, lots of people are going to see the movie. Okay. Don't freak out.

(51:47) Yeah! So you can get tickets and then at the live show, uh, we'll answer a lot of questions from people around the country who are in the theaters where the live show is playing, and we will also play some music. Birdy's gonna play a song, Nat and Alex Wolff are gonna play some music- or, it might just be Nat, I don't know if Alex is coming. I hope so! I love that guy.

(52:09) Um, and then, um, and you will get to see my deleted scene. That if you don't go to The Night Before Our Stars you won't be able to see for many, many months. But yes, I was, I was, I was, in the movie but I got cut. So why did I get cut if I'm such- obviously a good actor? "I'm so sorry," Ugh god, could I have been any better? Um, the answer is that, I got cut because the scene didn't need to be in the movie it was a weird, uh, you know like, uh, it's, uhh, things are going fast and going well and zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom and the scene was really like "wait, why are we stopping?" I just want to keep zooming!

(52:47) Um, so I also advocated for it to be cut. I think everybody was happy that it wasn't in the movie, but I'm just bummed out, because the girl who played my daughter was just so great. But you'll get to see her tomorrow night. You'll get to see how awesome she was. Um, in the role of girl. Ummm, Jackie was her name, not the real girl. The real girl's name was Sophie, but Jackie was the name of the character. Anyway, um, it's ah um, it's a good uhh, it's a good scene and you can see it tomorrow night. Um, it's like twenty seconds long. I don't know why I've talked about it for like twelve minutes now.

(53:20) But yeah, so I'm not in the movie, I'm very happy not to be in the movie, I have no desire to be an actor. Having spent one day acting, I concluded that it's horrible work. It's incredibly difficult. It's exhausting- physically and emotionally exhausting. You have to be so present and focused and you can't screw up because there's like a hundred people who are counting on you, who have like, you know, set everything up so that the camera will move at exactly the right pace. And if you mess up, then, uh, all of those people have to like, redo their work. Um. And they find that annoying. Well, they're used to- they were very understanding, but like, it was very- it wasn't fun. I did not like it. I am not supposed to be an actor. I am supposed to be a guy who talks to the little green light, um, inside the computer, and then sometimes makes video blogs. That is what I'm supposed to do.

(54:08) Um.... (hums) "Did you have any say in set design, specifically the posters in the rooms, advertising bands?" No! All the production design was done by the amazing, amazing, amazing Molly Hughes, who worked on the Harry Potter movies before she um, was the production designer for The Fault in our Stars. So she spent like, a decade with um, in the world of Harry Potter, and helped make Hogwarts and its environs real for all of us.

(54:35) And then um, and then made- and then did the production design for The Fault in our Stars! And I think she did a beautiful, beautiful job. I love the way that everything looks. Um, and I love the way the restaurant looks, in Amsterdam. I love um, the hotel rooms, the um- Hazel and Gus's rooms. I love it all so much. Uh, I think she did a great job.

(54:56) She found Hectic Glow posters, the Hectic Glow posters that are in Hazel's room- um, she found them online and they were designed by Nerdfighters, and she um, basically like, got them into the movie. Like, made sure that they got into the movie, um. She worked with other people who worked on the Harry Potter movies, to design the cover of An Imperial Affliction. And uh, they did a great job. I love that cover of An Imperial Affliction, and the cover of Counter Insurgence 2 - The Price of Dawn. Um, which is also a very cool cover.

(55:29) Uh, I'm just gonna answer a couple more questions, then I have to leave, because I have to go home to my babies. Um. Uh. Oh, Megan and Liz said "hi, you're awesome!" I think you're awesome, Megan and Liz! Alright.

(55:44) Uh... "Will Paper Towns be filmed in Pittsburgh, like Fault in Our Stars was?" I don't know. I don't know. We don't even have a finished script yet, so. I don't know yet. I don't know. I mean, it's set in Orlando, but I love Pittsburgh. I had so much fun in Pittsburgh. Everyone in Pittsburgh was so nice, but I'm also like- I grew up in Orlando, so I'm kind of biased toward Orlando, too.

(56:03) Um. "Is this a promotion or is it just a real book?" An Imperial Affliction is not a real book. Uh, they put it on that shelf, and that picture, as a promotion. No, it is not a real book. You cannot buy it. It has never been written and I- it won't ever be written.

(56:18) Um... (hums) "You look like Jimmy Neutron." I hear that a lot! Whenever people say I look like someone, it's either Jimmy Neutron or Bernard from Megamind. It's never... a non-cartoon. I would love it if you guys would say that I looked like... A non-cartoon. You know, someone who is an actual, physical human in the world, because right now I feel like I just look like a cartoon version of something. Um, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yep.

(56:50) Ummm... Okay, a few more questions. "How many times have you seen The Fault in our Stars?" (exhales audibly) I think ten! Or maybe eleven. Um.

(56:59) "What's a quote that means a lot to you right now?" Oh, that's a good question! Um, well there's my old- stand by the Robert Frost quote: "the only way out is through". I'm a big believer in that. Um, uh. The- another Robert Frost quote I really like, um: "I can sum up everything I know about the world in three words: it. goes. on."

(57:21) Uh, "have you heard the soundtrack?" Yeah, of course! You could buy it on iTunes - I bought it on iTunes- I pre-ordered it on iTunes like two weeks before it came out. Yeah, I really like the soundtrack. I mean, you know, I'm old, so I wasn't familiar with many of those artists before they uh- before the soundtrack was released. But I really like it! I think that um- and now I've met a bunch of them, like I hung out with CharlieXCX and Ed Sheeran, um, and Grouplove at the uh, YouTube concert for The Fault in our Stars. And then I got to meet Birdy uh, a few days ago, um, she's really cool. I really enjoyed meeting her. Um, she was at the premiere as well. Um. Yeah, really nice. Would have been one of the highlights of my premiere except that I got to meet one of the co-champions of the Scripps Howard Spelling Bee... Which was just like, boom! It's amazing! Dream come true stuff!

(58:16) Ummm. Yeah. Okay. A couple more questions. Um. (hums) Why do I sing that song? That do-do-do-do-do-do? What song do you guys sing when you need to sing a song to like, keep your brain going? Um... (sings the do-do song)

(58:47) Oh, Uh, Bella said that um, I remind her of the non-cartoon character Andrew Garfield. PSH PSH PSH PSSSH YES! D'you hear that, Emma Stone? (laughs) I'm just kidding. Um. That's very nice, thank you. Thank you. I do not remind myself of Andrew Garfield, but I appreciate it! And uh, yeah. Yeah.

(59:07) No, um, right. About my own taste in music... Lots of people asking me about my own taste in music. My favorite band is a band called The Mountain Goats. Uh, in fact if you go to my Twitter bio, you will see um, uh... You'll see, you know, me wearing a shirt that says "I only listen to The Mountain Goats". Um, which is kind of true! I usually listen to The Mountain Goats - sometimes I'll cheat on them, occasionally, with another band. Um, or my brother. I often listen to my brother's music - I'm a big fan of Hank's new album. I think it's like, overwhelming his best new album - Incongruent - it's so good.

(59:39) Um, but um, I do love The Mountain Goats. So if I'd made the soundtrack, it would have been all Mountain Goats songs. Um, and the movie would have been scored by The Mountain Goats, and instead of having actors in it, it would have just been, kind of like a black screen and two hours of Mountain Goats songs, so you guys should probably be grateful that I didn't make the movie.

(1:00:00) Anyway. Um... Uh... (hums) Um. Someone else said I look like Leo DiCaprio. Okay, I'm gonna sing- I'm gonna say one last thing- 'cause lots and lots of people are um, are asking why the movie is coming out tomorrow in the United States, and not in the UK or Italy or a bunch of other countries.

(1:00:33) I have no idea! I did not make that decision. If I could have made the decision, it would have come out June 6th everywhere. But I didn't. Uh, these are very complicated things, involving lots and lots of people, and lots and lots of money, and I have absolutely no say in them, and that's just the way of the world.

(1:00:51) Like, like I said earlier, when you sell the movie rights to your book, that's it. That's the last decision that you make. And I've been very, very lucky to be included in a lot of the decisions about the actual making of the movie, but I definitely was not- you know, it's not my decision when to release the movie or anything like that. Um. And I understood that when I got into this thing, and I'm sorry if you have to wait to see the movie. I wish you didn't. Uh, complain to Fox in your local country.

(1:01:20) Um. Yeah. Last question from Nicole - itsmenicky. Um, "Why did you choose to write for teenagers?" Well, I like writing for um, I like writing for teenagers for a number of reasons.

(1:01:34) Um. First off, I like writing about teenagers. I like writing about teenagers because they're um, intellectually curious but they're intellectually curious in kind of a wonderfully open and unironic and unafraid way.

(1:01:50) Like, when I was in high school, I wasn't a particularly good student, but I used to have conversations with my friends about the meaning of life, like, all the time. Um, we used to talk about why suffering existed, why suffering is unjustly distributed, why are some people born poor and others born rich? And why is there so little um, you know, why is privilege so entrenched that it's very difficult for the poor to become not-poor, and very difficult for the rich to become not-rich?

(1:02:15) Um. Why- um, you know, is- is meaning in life uh, constructed? Is it something that we have to make up together? Or is it derived? Is it something that we have to sort of discover? That's given to us by God or some organizing principle in the universe, and then we have to uh, figure out what that organizing principle has told us.

(1:02:38) Um. Those were really important questions for me in high school, and they weren't like- and they still are, and I- sometimes I almost feel embarrassed about this, because I feel like in adulthood, you are supposed to be asking different questions. But um, I like it.

(1:02:54) I like to look at the universe and to think about it and to think about why... um, why... Why! Just why! (laughing) Why- is there a reason to get up- get up and get out of bed in the morning other than just like, evolutionary impaired. Um, you know, is there- are we gonna make up meaning in life, and if so, how are we going to make it up? What are we going to make up? What are we going to choose, if we get to choose? And if we don't get to choose, how are we going to find the meaning? Um, how are we going to derive it from the sources or whatever.

(1:03:30) And then, you know, what can we do about suffering? What can we do about injustice? Is life valuable in the face of the fact that many people are going to suffer needlessly. In fact, I would argue that all people are going to suffer needlessly.

(1:03:46) I said in a recent video, and I really mean this, like, you don't deserve- I don't deserve any of the amazing things that have happened to me, um, in the last two and a half years, but I also don't deserve the really bad things that have happened to me in the past two and a half years. Like, I didn't deserve to spend like six months horribly ill and then have to get a surgery to um, to uh, to feel better.

(1:04:09) Like, you don't deserve the good things, but you also don't deserve the bad things. I think deserve is the wrong way to imagine it. So what's the right way to imagine it? How are we going to find a way into thinking about life hopefully but also honestly? Um.

(1:04:23) Yeah, those aren't like, theoretical questions for me. Those are questions of like, existential importance, and I think they're questions of existential importance to a lot of teenagers, and that's why I like writing both about them and for them.

(1:04:32) The other thing I really like and value about teens as readers and as characters, is that they don't draw a bright line between high culture and low culture. Like, they don't think, "oh, this isn't intellectually interesting because it's not fancy". You know. They don't- I don't see anything weird or wrong about saying that your two favorite television shows are Orange is the New Black and Swamp People, or whatever. Um. And I like that teenagers don't either. That's a bad example, although Orange is the New Black is an amazingly good television show. But you know what I mean.

(1:05:17) Uh, that like, you know, being able to find value in all kinds of different stuff, and not being presumptuous about where the value is going to be or what's going to be meaningful or where you're going to be able to find meaning.

(1:05:31) Um. The last thing that I would say is that there's an intensity to adolescence that's really appealing to me as a subject for writing. Um, when you fall in love for the first time, it's intense. It matters. It matters in a big, big way. And I think adults often dismiss the reality of that emotional experience because it isn't ironised. Like, it isn't hidden behind irony. It isn't hidden behind experience, so, you know...

(1:06:01) When we fall in love- when I fall in love in my mid-thirties, which, you know, I don't. But like, if I fell in love now- even when I fell in love with my wife in my late twenties, I remember thinking, like, you know, this is like the other times I fell in love. I was able to contextualize it. I was able to um, to think of it, you know, with a little bit of uh, kind of ironic distance. And that's cool and whatever, and it's grown-up and whatever, but um.

(1:06:30) It isn't- it isn't as beautiful, it isn't as intense, it isn't- um, it isn't as beautiful to me as- as the way one feels falling in love for the first time. I mean, I'm much happier, obviously. I'm much, much, much, much happier. Um, because there's lots to recommend adulthood, there's a lot to recommend stability and consistency and, you know, having like, built a world around you that's valuable. Hi, speaking of being in love!

(1:06:56) Sarah: huh?

John: Speaking of being in love! (laughs) I said hi! I'm on- I'm doing a live show.

Sarah: I'm going, see you later.

John: Okay, I'll see you later!

(both Sarah and John laugh)

(1:07:05) John: Um. (Sarah says something inaudible) That's fine! Um, but um. Uh. Yeah, I love- I love adulthood. Um, and I recommend it. But, um, I think a lot of times as adults, we dismiss the reality of those emotional experiences, because they feel sentimental-

Huh, what's up? Keys. Yes. I have keys!

Sarah: Thank you!

(1:07:30) John: Sure! That's real love. (Sarah and John laugh) Um, yeah. So we- I think adults often dismiss the emotional experiences of teenagers because they- because they think like, "oh, because this is so enthusiastic and because it's lacking in irony and because it's um, totally, like, unafraid of emotion, there's something not real about it". That's not- that's not fair at all.

(1:07:54) Like, the intensity of uh, of grief and love and uh, and that intellectual curiosity that accompanies thinking about the big questions for the first time when you're a teenager, that's very, very real. And maybe it will last for the rest of your life. Maybe it won't. But whether or not it lasts, quote unquote "forever", is not what defines whether something is real, because I don't wanna harp on this, but nothing lasts forever!

(1:08:20) Like, I always wanna say this to adults when they're like "oh, that isn't real love, because they'll break up some day". I wanna be like, well your love therefore is not real either, because you'll die some day and it will end! It's just ludicrous to define the reality of an emotional experience based on uh, based solely on whether it lasts until death.

(1:08:41) I just think it's completely unfair, so I like writing about teenagers because I like going back to that um, that rawness, that lack of- that sort of fearlessness about emotional experience, and um, and the complete lack of irony in the approach to um, to experience and to emotion that um, that gets me really excited. I mean, that was the most excited I've been in weeks, just talking about it. I'm such a nerd!

(1:09:05) Okay, I have to go now. Because I have to go home to my adorable kids. Uh, thank you guys for watching! Thank you for- I should say for the last time, pre-order your tickets to The Fault in our Stars. Link in the dooblydoo! There's a movie coming out, it's good. It's 81% fresh on unless it's changed in the last ten minutes.

(1:09:25) Um... Yeah! Pre-order- you can see tomorrow night- tomorrow night, goodness gracious! I will be um, in Atlanta with Shailene and Ansel and Nat and Birdy and lots of people, and you can see our livestream and my deleted cameo, and many other fun things if you go to the showing tomorrow night. All that will happen in your theater after the end of the movie.

(1:09:48) So yeah. Thank you- I- I do wanna say- I'm late, but I do wanna say thank you, thank you um... Those of you who read the book way back in 2012 or who pre-ordered it. Thank you for kind of, being with me and with this story for this whole time. It's meant a lot to me.

(1:10:08) I don't know- I don't know um, that I would've necessarily gotten through this whole... Exciting but also very weird and anxiety-inducing process without um, without your support for the story, and your belief in the story, and I certainly don't think the movie would be as uh, as good as it is, without your support.

(1:10:29) It would be the worst movie, because uh, we wouldn't have known - all of us, not just the people who um, you know, produced the movie, but everybody involved in it - needed to know how much it mattered to you, and I really believe they did know that, I really believe that they cared- they, you know, took on that sense of caring that you shared with them and took it very seriously and I appreciate that.

(1:10:56) I appreciate that they did it, but I mostly appreciate your caring and your like, faith in the story and um, desire to, not just hold on to it but also to share it. That was very generous of you, It's been very generous of you. I hope you continue to feel that way.

(1:11:12) Thank you guys so much. I will talk to you again on Tuesday, don't forget to read Behind the Beautiful Forevers before Tuesday! That is the deadline of your Nerdfighter book club reading, so read Behind the Beautiful Forevers before Tuesday, because I'm gonna talk about it and I don't wanna spoil anything for you. Okay, thank you again! DFTBA. I will see you guys soon.