Good morning John, this video comes to you in 4 parts.

Part number 1, a very short story. I was in the airport going home from VidCon and a woman strolls up behind me and she is a little bit peculiar looking and I don't think I'm making a judgment to say so, I think she probably means to be. She's very small, somewhat voluptuous, lots of make up and very fancy clothes and with her are four very big guys, a kind of entourage if you will. All I see people around kind of fumbling with their cellphone cameras getting ready being like, maybe that's an important person. She has a very distinctive look and I actually see her later on a YouTube thumbnail and I figure out who she is, she is Snooki from the Jersey Shore, and if you don't know who Snooki is, as far as I'm concerned you win. And someone walks up to Snooki and is like “Snooki can you take a picture with me?” and Snooki was like “yeah, I'll take a picture with you” and then they took a picture together. But then somebody walked up to me and was like “Hey! Are you Hank Green? Can I take a picture with you?”. And Snooki was confused. And that is what it's like when worlds collide.

Part number 2. It is roughly the 3 year anniversary of Accio Deathly Hallows getting featured on the front page of YouTube and if you don't know what that means, that was our first time when lots of people watched our videos. And John, as you mentioned in the recent Skype conversation, this marks three years of having one of the coolest, weirdest, most awesome lives ever.
“Oh congratulations, you're so cool, I bet there was recently a character in a major motion picture that did the nerdfighter salute, and I bet one of your idols recently told you that he respects your work, and I bet your brother just won some kind of fancy literary prize in Germany. So you won some kind of prize, right? Well here's your pony. Take your pony, nerd.”
“Um, this isn't a pony, it's a squirrel, and... why are you wearing a mustache?”
“Because I'm the voice inside your head that tells you the truth, that you are not your achievements and all your accomplishments are either based on luck or they're based on cheating.”
“Right, I got that, but why are you wearing a mustache?”
“Oh, because I was at the store and there was like a mustache dispenser and it only cost 50 cents.”
“Oh cool, can I try it?”
“Yeah sure! I mean, no. No, it's only for evil version of you!”
“Oh, okay.”

Anyhow, part 3. Every year on the anniversary of Deathly Hallows I write another song about Harry Potter, which I have done, unfortunately there's too much stuff to talk about for me to play that whole song for you today, but I will play for you the chorus:
“It's been so many years, no matter how I tried to read more young adult fiction I keep coming up dry, it's like water water everywhere and not a drop to drink, my frustration and my agony have pushed me to the brink, I keep tilting back the glass but I never tasted the water, it seems no matter what I read I think this is not Harry Potter.”

And finally part number 4: John's punishment. This was actually first suggested to me at VidCon and I just can't let it go because it is so amazing. John, we know that you've been doing a good job on your fitness plan but I think what nerdfighteria really needs is a nerd-focused work out video. I want your punishment to be a 10-minute-long work out video in which you work the whole nerd body. And your outfit for this must include a cut-off sweatshirt, sort of cut-off at the ribs here, a headband, and preferably leg warmers and possibly a whole body leotard. And with that not only will you be getting in shape but you will help get all of nerdfighteria in their top physical condition.
I always thought the phrase “in shape” was a little bit weird, like... I'm in a shape. I'm in a shape of a very skinny guy who still has a very large percentage of body fat because he has no muscle.

And John, I hope you're having a very good time in Germany. If you wanna go see John and the Sons of Admirals, there's the link to information about that down in the dooblydoo in my pants.
John I will see you on Wednesday.

“In fact you are a phony and everything that you've ever done was based on luck and cheating and half of my moustache just fell off”