Emma: It's funny, the things you don't see coming. I knew this wasn't going to be easy, but what I did not bet on was how much tougher it was going to be working with the Senator's wife-to-be. The thing is, I can't really put my finger on it. Caroline's nice, but there's something off here. And to be fair, it could be me and not just her. But, this is my documentary, so I'm going to be honest. 

Caroline Lee comes off as a pretentious, self-centered, coffee snob! I thought I was a coffee snob, but she thinks she's too good for our coffee?! Huh, we have great blends, just ask Frank Churchill! Oh and how about the way she treats Harriet. She's no better than Harriet, except for her absolute conviction that she is. 

In the end, I was hoping that the Senator would find someone who'd bring out the best in him. Harriet would've done that. But now I'm afraid that Caroline Lee will bring out the absolute worst. 

And what is up with her calling Alex, AL!!?? What is that!?

[Intro Music]

Emma: No one calls him Al! That's not his name. Alex Knightley is clearly not an Al! She had no right to call him that. Who does she think she is to march in here and change someone's god-given name after knowing them for what, like, five minutes? Ugh, insufferable! Friendship and familiarity are two things that have to be earned, not married into. She's coming by in a few minutes, so I sent Harriet out to go get some sample invitations. To give her a break from any more injustice she might suffer at Caroline's perfectly manicured hands.

Caroline: Your assistant's not joining us this time?

Emma: No, she's out picking samples for your invitations.

Caroline: Great! Three's a crowd after all.

Emma: Let's talk about venues. What are all of your requirements?

Caroline: Well, we'll need a lot of space, because we have a long guest list. You know how well-connected James is and I have some very high profile friends.

Emma: Yes, I am aware.

Caroline: We want an elegant venue, something stately without being stuffy. More glam, less glitz.

Emma: Okay, well, Harriet's put together a whole spreadsheet of options, organized by seating count, menu options, parking specifics and date availability.

Caroline: Hmm, it's color coded.

Emma: And alphabetized. 

Caroline: Well, I hate to waste your time again, but I already have a venue in mind.

Emma: You do? Which one?

Caroline: The Hotel Landau. It is the perfect mix of romance and sophistication.

Emma: Yes, well, it is right here among Harriet's suggestions. See, it's highlighted.

Caroline: Good for her.

Emma: You should know, the Landau is very particular about the private events they allow. It's a historical site, so they can only do a few a year.

Caroline: Well, James is a state senator after all, I'm sure he can pull a few strings if you can't...

Emma: No, no, I am actually very close with their PR agency, I will give them a call right away.

Caroline: Perfect. Oh, and can you make sure that their menu is macrobiotic? 

Emma: Macrobiotic? For an engagement party? That's... unorthodox.

Caroline: I have James on a special diet for the wedding. Not that he needs it, but we all have to look our very best for our big day. Don't you agree?

Emma: Yes, of course, I will check with their head chef. He does come with the venue, it's part of the contract.

Caroline: I'm sure there's a way around that if need be. Wow, everything is coming together so easily. We should just call it a day and go shopping.

Emma: That sounds like fun, but I doubt I could keep up with you.

Caroline: Please! You're one of the few who could. Your fashion blog is stunning. Let's just skip the rest of the day and go have fun. 

Emma: Oh, you go on ahead, I still have so much work to be done around here.

Caroline: Oh please, your assistant and Al can handle things for a few hours.

Emma: Actually, Al and I have a meeting to get to when we're done here, so I really can't go. That would be unprofessional of me.

Caroline: Next time, then. I'll just call Jane instead. You know Jane Fairfax, don't you? I am just dying to take her shopping. 

Emma: You know Jane Fairfax?

Caroline: The girl is so cute, stunning. But her style is so plain. If I could just get my hands on her for one afternoon, I could work wonders.

Emma: When did you meet her?

Caroline: James and I stopped by the Bates' residence last week to inquire about the event you did for her. Talk about cramped living spaces. How does Jane stand living in such a crowded place?

Emma: She's not living there, she's just back home for a little while. 

Caroline: Then I need to hurry up and introduce her to someone. She has so much potential, she should have no trouble finding a great man. How is she still single?

Emma: Jane seems to like being on her own, she's pretty independent.

Caroline: Well we're all independent women, Emma Woodhouse, that doesn't mean we need to spend the rest of our lives alone.

Emma: There's nothing wrong with being single.

Caroline: You may believe that now, but trust me, your views will change when the right man comes along.

Emma: We'll see about that.

Caroline: I'm sure if the right perfect guy showed up, Jane would realize what she was missing. And I'm going to find her that person.

Emma: Sounds great.

Caroline: Oh, I'm sorry. I can find someone for you, too. Seriously, it would be no trouble.

Emma: I'm good.

Caroline: OK, so tell me something. What is going on between you and Al? Are you two involved?

Emma: No!

Caroline: Emma! I can keep a secret. You can trust me.

Emma: Al and I are strictly business partners.

Caroline: That's fine for now. But what happens when some young, independent woman comes out of nowhere, just snatches him right out of your fingers? How's that going to make you feel?

Emma: As long as she makes Alex happy, I would be happy for them. They would have my sincerest blessing.

Caroline: Good for you. I hope you always believe that. Well, I should leave you to your work. This was fun. Oh, have your assistant send us those invitations as soon as possible.

Emma: I will.


Emma: [sighs dramatically]

Alex: Is it really that bad? 

Emma: Yes, it is, it is really, really, really bad.

Alex: See, there you go again, over exaggerating. I've met Caroline, she seems like a perfectly nice, normal woman.

Emma: Somebody's got you fooled, doesn't she, Al?

Alex: Oh, please don't call me that. 

Emma: Oh, but Caroline gets to? What's up with that?

Alex: She is the client, she can do whatever she wants.

Emma: Oh, she can be rude to Harriet, she can do my job for me, and she can insult our coffee, as long as she pays us?

Alex: To a certain extent, yes. Remember the adage, "The client is always right".

Emma: Well what about when the client is insufferable?

Alex: Those two are not mutually exclusive.

Emma: She's only been here a week and already she's inserting herself everywhere. She's calling you Al, she's bossing around Harriet and she is trying to set up Jane Fairfax.

Alex: She is making herself comfortable and she is working directly with you, which she should be doing.

Emma: It's not only that. She thinks she knows what is good for everyone else, when in reality, she has no idea. 

Alex: Go on.

Emma: Well, take Jane Fairfax for example. She wants Jane to be her little paper doll. She wants to dress her up and find her a man when Jane didn't ask for any of this. I almost feel sorry for Jane. No, I do feel sorry for Jane. Do you see what this woman is doing to me? This isn't funny!

Alex: No, it's amazing! Kettle, have you met my friend pot? 

Emma: What are you talking about?

Alex: Telling other people what they need, fixing them when they don't need to be fixed. Hmm, who does that sound like?

Emma: Alex Knightley, do not say what I think you are going to say.

Alex: Oh, I'm going to say it.

Emma: Don't you dare.

Alex: She is doing to Jane [muffled sounds] what you did to Harriet. She is exactly like you! [Emma taps keyboard] Aw, do you know how long that took

Emma: Sorry!