Dr. Lindsey Doe: This episode of Sexplanations is sponsored by K-Y, a lubricant and sexual health company devoted to the idea that sex is not just for special occasions.

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We tend to schedule sex around , holidays,  and honeymoons - and there are benefits to doing this, like having time and privacy planned out. But on the downside, partners can feel immense pressure to have the ultimate sexual encounter on this one special occasion and if it doesn't all work out, the opportunity was lost! K-Y has started a new sexual movement: "You Don't Need A Reason" meant to reduce the pressure of time-specific sex, and help you enjoy great sex any day of the year. They want to help partners deepen intimacy for stronger connections sexually and otherwise, and they've put together a three-way partnership to inspire this: K-Y (lubrication), Sexplanations (education) and Punchbowl (communication.)

Lubrication by K-Y

Lubrication reduces friction between bodies and softens touch, so what would be dry rubbing becomes slippery and smooth. The vagina is typically a moist environment, but during sexual excitement may produce noticeably more fluid. Thuis is primarily plasma from the vaginal walls, but the bartholin's glands to the left and right of the vaginal opening also add mucus. When someone describes being wet in a sexual way, like "I'm so wet" this is what they're referring to, which can happen any day of the year. Same with pre-cum from the penis, and saliva from the mouth - the body does what it can to take care of itself 365 days a year. 

But if you ever need more, there's supplemental lube like K-Y. They K-Y Yours + Mine package has two personal lubricants: the blue formula, which gives a warming sensation, and the purple formula, which tingles.


Education by Sexplanations

Brittany Gibbons, Doug Brown and Charla Muller are three writers who describe their own individual experiences having sex almost every day for a year - their stories are testaments to the reality that sex can happen on any day and that any-day sex has its rewards. You're less likely to have rigid rules about where, when, and for what reasons you have sex, and instead of just being kind and thoughtful on date nights, and special occasions, partners are more consistently nice to one another.

Doug Brown describes his sexcapades as "an avalanche of flesh pleasures upon our relationship" and said that even when he and his partner weren't in the mood, they go for it anyway and the mood would find them. 

Similarly, Brittany Gibbons writes "sex begat more sex and those connected loved up feelings began to to creep outside of our bedroom. Or in our case the laundry room, the closet, and our garage, and into our every day lives."  She continues, "we were more romantic with each other, touching arms as we passed, kissing longer before work, and not just the cold familiar peck. Our relationship was stronger and better when our intimacy was flourishing." 

I'm certainly not one to declare more sex is better, but I do value flexibility and creativity over rigidity. I like that partners who have an any-day playfulness to them can have wonderful sex lives - no big production necessary. 

In an interview with Huffington Post,  Charla Muller talks about "unconditionality" - how in her 365 days of sex, there were no special conditions for sex to happen. Her example: "there was no need for Brad to wine and dine me at overpriced restaurants. Our house ran better because we were more agreeable, more helpful, and more solicitous to each other. and our time together was truly about us, not the promise of special date-night sex.": Exactly.


Communication by Punchbowl


So here's how all this comes together. K-Y has partnered with Punchbowl to give you free digital cards you can send to your partners any day of the year, which cleverly match the look of K-Y packaging. There's no limit on how many you can send, and no censorship on the message you type. You can do them for any occasion, you don't need a reason. Write a hopeful note to let your partner know you're game to play, or cuddle or whatever you're into, then get yourself some lube (K-Y.com) and Stay Curious.

As a special treat we're going to put one of you up in a hotel, wherever you are in the world, check out the description for the contest rules.