Hello and welcome to Hankgames without Hank, my name is John Green, manager of AFC Wimbledon! The greatest team in the history of teams. The greatest achievement, I would submit, in the history of humans. And today we're taking on Scunthorpe United. Scunthorpe: the kind of place that sounds made up in England. But there are so many places that seem made up in England, presumably some of them are real.

So in our first games we drew nil-nil, it was a heroic, glorious nil-nil draw featuring many corner kicks and I believe no shots on goal. But since then I have turned off my Kinect, so I'm full of hope! I'm full of hope for this game, we just need the boys to come through. There! To John Green! Yes. Wait for it. Wait for your husband and father of your son! Yes! Cut back! Oh! It's beautiful! To Akinfenwa! Finish! Oh. Oh, we tried to get too fancy, guys. We did one trick, it was like... We were like a three trick pony. You want to be a one trick pony ideally, that's my understanding of that cliche.

Anyway, today's topic comes from a Project for Awesome donor, thank you to everybody who donated to the 2015 Project for Awesome. We raised more than a million and a half dollars for charity this year in a week. This question comes, this topic comes from Avery who has submitted a topic and donated to the Project for Awesome so thank you so much Avery. And Avery's topic...

Oh God. Oh God. Scunthorpe are passing like Barcelona! They just did a back-heel! Did nobody tell them that they're Scunthorpe?! Anyway, today's topic from Avery is "I have a"... Avery says "I have generalized anxiety and persistent depression". I just got fouled. "And I'm going to college next year. Do you have any tips for motivation, making new friends et cetera". Yeah, I mean a little bit.

Did you see, Meredith, did you see the DFTBA on their shorts? It was fricking beautiful. I feel like they went, I feel like maybe FIFA the video game, like, went to unusual lengths - It's Akinfenwa, it has to be! But it isn't. - Went to unusual lengths to really highlight the DFTBA Nerdfighteria on the shorts there. That was a beautiful shot.

Anyway. So I mean I, you know, obviously, like, I have... Well, this is not obvious, but I talk about it some... I have OCD and, like, I have a, you know, which is often linked to anxiety and depression issues, and I have had, you know, I have had periods of depression in my life, and certainly long periods of poorly-managed anxiety.

I mean, I guess the main thing that I would say is that it's scarier now. Like, the first couple days of college were extremely scary for me, but you've got to remember that it's equally, pretty much equally scary for everyone. You know, everyone is in the same boat, and there's something kind of comforting about that. Like, you just need to remember that they also don't, you know, they also don't remember your name yet, and they are also super nervous, and, like, they also don't know where to eat dinner, and, like, hopefully there is, I think there is a bit of shared...

That's more like the Scunthorpe I know and love.

Hopefully there's a sense of, like, shared mission in that. Like that's kind of what I, what happened to me my freshman year of college. I was extremely nervous about going to college because I was like, "Who do you, How do you even make a friend?" And then it just sort of slowly happened. In fact, not even that slowly. I mean really, because everybody is so, you know, everybody's looking, everybody wants to be friends, you know.

I like being balanced; I'm happy with balanced. I'm a little concerned about our performance against Scunthorpe so far, Meredith. I feel like Scunthorpe is a team that this AFC Wimbledon should be able to take on. It's great to see Bald... By the way, Other John Green, he's now a... Where do you want the ball? I can't tell. You're not pointing right. One thing I really like about Other John Green is that now that he's a... Oh, that's a beautiful ball! Get to that! Get to that! Oh! Oh man.

We just need, we need, what we need, Meredith, mostly is names for these gentlemen. Because I feel like that's where they're coming up short is because they don't have names. You know? They don't have nicknames yet. They really... Players love a good nickname.

That's a great ball! Oh my God! Adebayo Akin...! What? Didn't the ball go in the net? Am I wrong? Oh my... For the love of God! We just scored our first goal. Adebayo Akinfenwa: His body was in the wrong position, but it didn't matter because he's so incredibly strong. He's just, he's a beast. That's his word for himself. Beast mode on. I have a song for him Meredith. Yeah.

So, you know when, back many many many years ago like 15 years ago... Whoo! that was a little nerve-racking. I'll get back to college in a second Avery, but back like 15 years ago, there was this Brazilian player Ronaldo and he was the best player in the world but he was also, he was a bigger gentleman. And he was not, he was not known for his fitness. It has to be said that Akinfenwa is supremely fit, he's just fricking big and strong. But what they used to sing is "He's big, he's round, he's worth a million pounds. Ronaldo!" So I think, we've got a version of that for Akinfenwa, but obviously he's gotta score for me to sing his name! I want to! I'm ready! 

Come on. That's nice, that's good stuff, that's good stuff! It's Callum Kennedy! Roaring! Doh!! Oh it had to be, but somehow it didn't happen!! AFC Wimbledon still looking, still looking for their first goal of this pre-season! Which also would be their first goal of their new, the newly reformed Wimbledon. I feel like I was fouled but for some reason they're saying that I was the fouler.  

So the other thing that I would say is that like I think that it can be a pretty intense time if you have, for people who do have issues with anxiety and depression, and it's good to like know that going in, and it's good to, if you can, you know, find out like what the resources are. Like, don't be afraid to you know talk to the, every, every college has... Oh god. Oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god. Oh wow that was a terrible shot! Every college has on campus counselors and usually a psychiatrist, so I think it's really good to like, establish relationships there. Which I know can also be hard because, you know, you're anxious, so like it's, you know, you don't necessarily want to talk to a new stranger, but I think it's really worth doing. In my experience anyway, that's the other thing that made a big difference for me.

It looks like John Green has gotta come out of the game, he's too tired. He's exhausted, he's fought like a demon. But we've just we've gotta... I like the way, I like the way Shea is getting the ball out of the back quickly. We've gotta, we've gotta show some more courage. That's my - don't you feel that way Meredith? Don't you feel like what we're lacking right now? Maybe what we're lacking is width. And maybe what we're lacking is that the boys are a little, smidge tired. Barcham's gotta come out, and then we're gonna bring on Reeves. And then, who else is really tired? Green is so tired that I'm concerned about his health, which is never good. But we don't really have anyone to bring on for him. We're gonna, tell you what we're gonna do, we're gonna do that.

So that's gonna at least toughen up our midfield, but I don't know. This is gonna be, you know I'm not sure that we're gonna be able to go to the semi-finals by only drawing games, but we'll see. I don't know. maybe we will, It worked, it worked in the Women's World Cup. We made it to the semi-finals while only scoring like one goal. It was incredibly impressive. Oh that was disappointing. That was some disappointing play boys. 

Yeah, so don't be afraid to take advantage of that stuff like as quickly as you can or to establish relationships just so, you know the people who are at your school are aware of whatever you know mental health concerns you have, and so you know things don't, things don't kinda get out of whack or get out of control. But, it's an exciting time and I was very anxious, I will admit, very very... What's happening here? Is like uh... Oh it's just a bunch of substitutions. They're making a double substitution Meredith. That's bold. That's bold. But we're also making a... All right so Reeves on the ball, and we got this guy, who's the out to the right? Nobody. Who's over here? No. We're just gonna pass to this guy. 

Yeah that's a great call. I would've liked a little more width. But, you know, such is life. Oh get out of bounds! Oh man. See, the stuff that worked in FIFA 15 just doesn't work now. This cut back stuff that we used to do, and all that. It just doesn't work as well. You know who I miss, Meredith, right now? I'm missing the Golden Child for some reason. I'm feeling nostalgic for the Golden Child. Meredith you were a freshman in college like six months ago, what advice do you have? Don't self medicate with alcohol? That's great advice! Not just - it is depressing yes. That's by the way not just great advice for when you're entering your freshmen year of college, but also it's ongoing good advice. OH NO!! Ugh.

Everything worked out better than expected. Um, yes. Don't self medicate with alcohol is really good advice. And that's, I mean that's, I'm fascinated in general by the, you know I think people think that "oh I'm going to college and ergo I should be like drinking alcohol until I throw up." But that's actually not a great strategy. And it's - but because it's sort of, it's almost, it's so wildly culturally accepted in the United States that college students binge drink, that there really isn't a lot of high quality conversation about the underlying problems of binge drinking. And I really, that's something I... Oh! Eh, ah! Oh, OH! So close. So close. We were so close Meredith!

We were so close to our first goal, but we got a corner kick. We got Adebayo Akinfenwa in there, HE'S BIG AND TOUGH AND STRONG. Not good. Not a good corner kick. The frustration is palpable as AFC Wimbledon is still waiting for their first goal of the season! I've been fouled. I've been unjustly fouled! But I think they called it against me because of a long-standing conspiracy by referees. Oh... We just we just, Meredith, we just need one goal and then the flood gates will open. I believe it! Adebayo Akinfenwa. Adebayo Akinfenwa!!! That's a great pass. Just get it into the box and see if something good can happen! Ugh! Taken off from John Green, that's unrealistic, in real life nobody steals the ball from John Green! It's another glorious nil-nil draw, good luck to Avery and everyone entering college.

You know, (laughs) I forgot that I put "J.J.'s Daddy" on the back of his jersey! That's, that's just, it's what he wanted to be known by Meredith! No J.J's Daddy. He wanted to establish, you know, that he's, he's proud, he's proud of his son. Thank you for watching. Best wishes.