Lizzie: On the theory that the internet is as bored stiff as I am with the continuing Bing Lee saga, I'm going to try a surefire method to boost my viewership. Posting cute pictures of cats! But not just cats by themselves. Cause cats, you've seen. But a cat with another cute furry animal. So...

My name is Lizzie Bennet, and I'm going to show you a cat playing with... a chinchilla!

[Intro plays]

Lizzie: So without further ado, here is picture number one-

Jane: Lizzie

Lizzie: Jane!

Jane: Oh! I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were shooting!

Lizzie: No, no, it's fine, it's fine cause Char can edit this out later.

Jane: You're never going to believe what happened at work today.

Lizzie: Uh, they realized what a creative genius you are and decided to start paying you a living wage?

Jane: Slightly more believable than that.

Lizzie: I've got nothing.

Jane: Bing sent flowers.

Lizzie: To your office?

Jane: Yes.

Lizzie: Wow, classy move. And, he's smart enough to try to end-run Mom. I'm beginning to understand what you see in this guy.

Jane: And there was a note.

Lizzie: Well of course there was a note, how else would you know whom to thank with your feminine favors?

Jane: Lizzie, don't make this dirty.

Lizzie: I'm not making this dirty. This was dirty before I got here.

(Jane scoffs)

Lizzie: Fine, what did the note say?

Jane: Bing and his sister Caroline want us to come visit them.

Lizzie: See-

Jane: At his house!

Lizzie: Oh, I told you this was dirty! Wait, no, who is us?

Jane: Us! You and me!

Lizzie: Why do they want me to come? Is this some kind of weird sister thing?

Jane: No, it's not some weird sister thing. They just, they wanna see you.

Lizzie: Is Darcy gonna be there?

Jane: I don't know...

Lizzie: Jane.

Jane: Okay fine, yes. Yes, he'll be there-

Lizzie: Then I'm not going.

Jane: No, you HAVE to go.

Lizzie: No, I don't. About the only thing that would make being your third wheel less appealing is having Darcy lurking around.

Jane: No, Bing and Darcy have been friends for years. He can't be that unpleasant all the time.

Lizzie: You are too nice.

Jane: There's no such thing as too nice.

Lizzie: Yes, there is. And I love you, but you are it. Darcy spent the entire evening being a total douche and you're just like, "Well I'm sure he was just having an off night."

Jane: Fine. Why don't you come with me, get to know Darcy, and prove me wrong?

Lizzie: I don't have to get to know Darcy, and since he has no interest in getting to know me, it works out perfectly. Why do you even want me to come? It's not like you need a chaperone ...... You do need a chaperone, don't you? Because... it's not just me, it's Lydia too. Aw, God. And... and Mom?! Seriously, Mom's coming?!

Jane: Sorry, Lizzie!

Lizzie: Aw, f- [long tone]

[Outro plays]