Ask Lindsey, the sick edition with your co-host, my head cold.  This episode of Sexplanations is sponsored by adamandeve.com, our sex toy partner in this sexual education adventure.

(Intro)

So I've been traveling around the country and Mexico and Europe teaching people about sexuality on the Sexplanations Road Tour and I've been asked hundreds of questions which I thought I would answer here.  Our first stop was at a coffee shop in Idaho.  It wasn't official, but I was ready to get the sex education started, so I went up to the barista and said, hi, I'm on a sex education road tour.  Are there any questions about sexuality I can answer for you?

He brought up how he didn't understand the nature of homosexuality.  If reproduction isn't possible, then what's the point?

I took a deep breath and offered the gay uncle hypothesis.  I explained that homosexuality is actually advantageous to reproduction because it slows population growth and increases caregivers available to support the next generation's success.  Plus, not all relationships, sexual activities, or attractions are about reproduction.

At a meetup in Washington State, I was asked, what suggestions do you have for partners who have different sex drives?

I prioritized communication, that no one's sex drive is better or worse than the other's, they're just different.   Then I suggested making a want/will/won't list of what each partner desires, accepts, and avoids in the context of their sex drives and encourage them to expand the definitions of sex and intimacy to encompass more.  Having different sex drives is the top concern people bring to me about their sexualities, so I want to do a four part series, four full videos, four full videos all about navigating when you really want it all the time, could have it three times a day, whereas your partner could go without sex indefinitely and then all of the smaller discrepancies in between these two.

In Oregon, I did a talk at the Sex Positive Education and Event Center, SPEEC, and someone brought up the struggle of telling people they're bisexual while others receive that as an invitation for sex.  In so many words, how do I come out as bisexual without others taking it as a come on?  Other people in the room shared their experiences and advocated for the bisexual support group that meets through SPEEC.  I agree.  Find people in your community or online who you can talk things out with.  You're not doing anything wrong by talking about your identity.  Others aren't doing anything wrong if they're asking you out appropriately, but that doesn't mean it's not uncomfortable or annoying or that it's going to be this way every time.

California was mostly spent with friends and colleagues.  I learned about Sematica, a profound body work practice.  I had dinner with classmates from my doctoral program, and I podcasted, so when I was asked questions, they were usually to teach me something.  

Do you talk about sex and aging at all on Sexplanations, which became a beautiful conversation about changes in the human body.  You want to start a school?  Have you read this book?  Have you seen Sex Education on Netflix?  Yes, not yet, I have seen Sex Education.  I think it's brilliant.  I watched it in two days and I miss the characters already.  Though the mom needs to respect boundaries.

For two days, the Sexplanations Road Tour dipped into Mexico and I spoke there at a creperie, delicious.  The question I remember most from that was a request, can you include more body types in your videos?  My mind wanted to argue.  I try, I include more body types in images.  I use language that isn't shape specific, and then I said, yes.  I know I can do more.  I want to do more.  The woman continued, my partner and I try some of the things that you suggest and we get frustrated when it doesn't work for us.  I thought about the videos that I've done on sex positions and me and the slender green suited person.  Many of those positions, the things that I suggest, don't work for me either, though.   I include them because maybe they'll work for you.

Onward to Nevada.  We stopped in (?~3:30) for interviews at Sherri's Ranch, a brothel.  I saw absinthe at Caesar's Palace and Puppetry of the Penis at the Erotic Heritage Museum.  The question I was asked by a Lyft driver on the Vegas strip, how do I make my girl squirt?  

Well, for starters, you don't make her.  You can help her by doing the come hither motion on the anterior wall of the vagina, but expecting it can contribute to performance anxiety.  Talk about it.  What does she want?  What is she afraid of?  How does she want you to help?  

From Nevada, we drove through Utah to Colorado, where I met with the Road Tour manager and got resettled before flying out of the Denver airport to Dublin, Ireland, Southhampton, England, and Charlotte, North Carolina.  I was asked, how did you get into sex?  Puberty.  Chemical messengers were screaming at me to put something inside my body and I didn't have the education I needed to navigate my biology, my relationships, and my health easily.  Also, the same way that people love learning to cook and others like learning about field hockey or geometry or music composition?  I loved learning everything related to sexuality.  Started volunteer, looking into programs in sexology, attending conferences and collecting everything I could about sex.

Where are you going next?  Right now, I'm back in Missoula for a quick break, some healing time.  Coming up, we'll be in all of these places.  More information about the tour is in the description, including links to help out with sponsorships or coordinating stops.  Stay curious.

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(Endscreen)